Find a way to smile and never let it get away...TBD

I walked towards the door and saw Dora with Loki waiting for me.  The look on my wife's face broke my heart.  I took a deep breath and got myself composed so I could be strong for her.  I knew she needed that.  I put my arm around her.  "Are you ready for this?" I asked.  My family could be overbearing at best and I just wanted to make sure that Dora knew what she would be getting into with this.  But perhaps that was what she needed... besides Mum would be taking care of her and would treat her as only a mother could treat a daughter.  And that might be what Dora needed right then.

I nodded, " Yep, you're with me...I'll be fine.." I said still at a whisper. Not sure how to handle this, still afraid using any volume would mean breaking. We had left the house and locked the door behind us. I took a deep breath as we got to the burrow. This is going to be hard to break the news to Molly and Arthur and the rest of the clan. We can do it as long as its together.

At least most of my siblings had moved out by now... though that did not mean that they were not at Mum and Dad's.  Everyone seemed to constantly visit.  I walked up and opened the door to the kitchen for Dora and Loki.  I heard my son's mouth from somewhere upstairs hollering at his Pops over who knows what.  I could not make out the words, just the fact that my son had a set of lungs on him.  "Mum...?  Dad?" I called out, knowing that the first one to rush to us -- no matter how far away he was -- would be Seth.

I walked into the house, " Hello?" I asked the house along with Bill. I wanted to help him more, I did. I couldn't even function. This was so hard and I don't like not knowing what to do. I couldn't know what to do. We lost the baby and it seems like we lost them.

I heard my son and daughter-in-law in the kitchen.  I headed towards the kitchen and nearly got barreled over by my grandson, thudding towards his parents.  I smiled and then it faltered slightly when I noticed their faces.  I let Seth run up to his parents as I took in the situation.  I knew that Bill was dealing with an extremely hyper son and Loki started to lick at Seth's face.  I went up to Dora and took her in my arms and hugged her tightly.  "Honey, come and sit down... I'll make you a cup of tea and anything else you'd like, dear," I said softly, ushering her towards the living room.  I knew Bill would probably hunt down Arthur, my son always went to him before me when something was wrong anyways.

I heard Dad downstairs and ran towarsd him, completely ignoring my Nan and Pops.  I nearly tackled my dad and Loki nearly tackled me.  I started to rough house with Loki while hugging my dad.  "You're here!  You have to come see the blanket fort that Pops and I made in your old room!" I said excitedly, pulling away and grabbing Dad's hand wanting to drag him upstairs.  I had no idea why he was being so slow about it!

I could see the slight confusion and concern on my mother's face as soon as she stepped into the kitchen.  I held onto Loki's leash when Mum took Dora.  I bent down and hugged my son and tried to be as happy as I could.  Seth did not understand what was going on.  He was dragging me towards upstairs.  I looked at the ladies and saw that Mum was already taking care of Dora without knowing any details; that was just how my mum was.  It was no wonder Dora would want to be here for a little while.  "Dad upstairs still?" I asked Mum, giving her a quick hug and kiss on the cheek which was all Seth let me do.

I followed Molly in and sat down while she set herself to work. I felt a little relieved knowing we were with family. I looked around the house and heard Seth happily telling Bill what he did with Pops. The fresh tears came down as Molly came back. I pulled her into a hug and just let them loose.

I held onto Dora tightly as she started bawling in my arms.  I had that bad feeling that I knew what had happened, I just did not want to hear it aloud.  It made me wish that Seth had gone down for a nap so Bill could talk openly with his father upstairs.  Oh, how seeing Seth must hurt right now!  "Shh... honey, it'll be okay," I said softly, knowing that right now that seemed rather impossible to them.  I knew they had an appointment to check on the baby and nothing but horrible news would make them like this.

I leaned back, looking at her " The baby....." I said quietly. " We lo..." I had to say it at least once to Molly. She would understand or attempt to understand. She has the seven of them. " We can try again in a few months...." I said almost at a whisper. I was glad we were here more than anywhere I knew Bill needed his family as much as I needed to see them as well. " Thanks Molly.." I said as I wiped my eyes. Trying to figure out something I can do. " Do you need help with anything?" I asked her to keep my mind busy but it started to hurt which I was told it will hurt me. Which right now I felt like I deserved. " I couldn't protect them..." I told her as I stood up. I wanted to try to do something rather than go into myself. The more I tried to offer to help the more my body just cringed.

I hated to see that she was in pain when she moved.  I pu ta hand on her shoulder.  "It wasn't your fault," I said softly.  I knew that nothing I said would make either of them feel any better at the moment, but that did not mean I was not going to try.  "And, Dora, you shouldn't be moving around.  If you feel it necessary to help with something, I can bring you something to do so you can stay at least sitting if not laying down," I added, not wanting her to do a thing but thinking that she probably wanted something to keep her mind as busy as possible.

As Dad and I walked up the stairs to the blanket fort, I realized that something was wrong.  I stopped and turned around on one of hte small landings.  "Dad... why are you so sad?" I asked, seeing that he had a bit of a frown on his face.  I hoped that it was not because of omething I did.

I nodded to her, I felt like I should do more. I just didn't know what I should do. It was different and it scared me to not know the answer to something. I didn't know how to handle myself. " Would it be all right if I sat here..." I said as I looked to her, " Knowing that I could have done something.." I ran a hand through my hair. " You know we had names picked and everything..." I said quietly. I sat back down on the couch. " Any way I can help Molly."

"Honey, you did everything that you could," I said to her softly.  There was no way that Dora could have predicted something like this could have happened let alone try to prevent it.  She had done what hte Healers instructed her to do.  "You just stay right there... the best way to help me is by helping yoruself right now.  Whatever you need, Dora, we're all here for you."

I smiled as fresh tears came to my eyes, " I just wanted it so bad...." I explained, I hoped she knew what I meant. " I know...I just can we do something?" I asked her. Sit outside or something. I just needed to try to keep my mind off it.