Without a soul my spirit's sleeping somewhere cold. TBD----Violence & SMUT

Smiling, " I know we said we wouldn't talk about it. I need to know how bad this looks..." I said revealing my traitor scar. " How bad..." I asked him.

I figured that neither one of us would be able to not talk about what happened for very long.  I felt the fire of anger ignite inside of me again when I saw that scar.  I knew I would not be able to lie to her.  "It's bad... but once it heals more I don't think it'll be too bad," I said to her, wanting to make her feel better.  But with a scar liek that, I fear I would be lying to her and sh ewould be able to see right through me anyways.

I left the house and sat on the porch as I was shaking with anger. Taking her out of bed in the middle of the night. They wanted me they will get me. They did not know what they had done. I wanted to be there for the kids but I couldn't contain my anger as I punched the house. The brick split my knuckles as my hands started to bleed.

I saw Sirius leave the house.  I stood up and sighed.   I knew that he was going to vent.  I just did not want him out there by himself.  "I'm going to follow him," I said, starting to head that way when I was stopped.

I put my shirt back to cover it up. " I won't be able to wait that long.." I said with a small smile. Looking over to him he looked as though he was about to explode. " I'll be okay."

I put a hand on Ember's shoulder.  "I will go out there with him," I said, going towards the door that Sirius left through.  "Trust me, Ems," I added gently.  "go make sure Dean isn't trying to escape.  I thought I heard movement from downt he hall."  That was a lie, but I wanted Ember to focus her attention elsewhere.  I knew whta Siruis's temper could be like.  I did not want ember to have to deal with that.  I walked outside and saw that Sirius had some bloodied knuckles, which did not surprise me.  "How are you holding up, mate?" I asked, though I knew the answer.  I just wanted to give him an opening to start venting.  I was probably the one person who would understand his fury better than anyone.  How long had I been trapped to let fury build inside of me?  I was not the same person I was when that first happened... but how I tried to get back to him.

I turned to Prongs, " How am I holding up....my children are in pain and I can't do anything about it except for wanting to chop the nuts off of every single man in the room when they did that to my little girl....wanting to take the knife that was stabbed into my son and repeatedly destroy what little hope they have left to show them how mad I am. How I thought we almost lost them...to know that if they didn't go there we may not have seen Lenni again. " I sighed, turning back to look at Prongs with tears in my eyes. " They took her in her sleep....how is she supposed to feel safe....how is Dean supposed to sleep knowing this could happen again....Prongs...if they want me...they can have me....just leave everyone else out of it.....I will go down fighting with everything I have to make sure they are okay..."

I knew better than to interrupt Sirius on a rant.  He needed this.  he needed to let it out.  It pained me to see Padfoot in so much pain over the hurt of his children.  I knew the feeling well.  I went sixteen years not knowing if my son was alive or not.  And I could barely live with myself -- hell, I nearly killed myself for giving up.  I sighed and ran a hand through my hair.  "I know, mate, I know," I said to him quietly.  "Try to find solace in the fact that they're both here and alive.  Yes, they're damaged and even broken at the moment.  But over time that will heal -- look at Ember, lily, and chloe... it took time.  But they managed to move past it.  All you can do right now is be there for them.  And if you decide to run off and do something stupid, you know me and Moony have got your back," I added, knowing how Padfoot could be.  And I knew that no matter what Moony would be by our sides even if he thought any sort of retaliation was not hte wisest of ideas.

I had started to clean up the area, we had quickly made the living room an emergency room. I went around cleaning up any bloody tissues or cloths. I was taking care of it so Ember didn't have to worry about it. I noticed she went to check on Dean thanks to James' suggestion. I looked to Chloe who looked as relieved as I did. I couldn't believe she was taken in her sleep.

I know Sirius and Ember would want to make them pay. It made sense to want too, I just didn't think jumping into the defense mode would be the best thing. " Thank Merlin.." I said to Chloe as we shared a small smile. I was just glad we could help in this situation. Heaven forbid if anything worse happened to them. We would end up going on a rampage making them all pay. I know that is what Sirius is currently wanting to do. Hopefully James will get him to cool off a little enough to come in and see his kids.

I had gone back to check on Dean and saw that he was just laying in bed.  His eyes were closed, but I almost felt like he was still awake.  He did not acknowledge my presence, but I did see a tear escape his eye.  I walked farther into his bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed.  I wiped away the tear and kissed his forehead.  I went to stand up when I felt his hand grab hold of mine weakly.  "Are you alright, sweetie?" I whispered.  He never reached out for me like this anymore.

I reached out weakly and grabbed Mum's hand.  "Stay with me... please," I asked through whatever Aunt LIly had given me for the pain.  I was unable to sleep, but I could not keep my eyes open.  I hated the fact that my lids were closed and heavy due to the fact that all I saw was Lenni and what the death Eaters had done to her... it was just replaying in my head and yet I could not open my eyes to try to get rid of those images flashing before them.  Perhaps mum being there it may help me not freak out.  What would help would be me getting up and moving about, but I knewn better than to go against what Aunt Lily told me... and to be honest, i was not entirely sure if I could move at the moment.  My arm was killing me, wher Darwin stabbed me ached...

I nodded, turning to face Prongs, " We had a fight before she left....she was saying how she was going to be with George...and I wanted her to know we are here for her when she needs us. To not stray from being herself. I wanted to make sure he treats her like a Queen..." I explained. " The fight escalated...and she left to George's for the night..." I explained, angry tears rolling down my cheeks. " Her getting nabbed by them was my fault. If we didn't fight she would have gone over to their place in the morning..." I said as I couldn't believe I doubted him. I owed him a lot, he takes good care of my little angel. " I owe him so much Prongs.."

How on earth could Sirius be blaming himself?  Fight or no fight, it was not his fault that the Death Eaters took Lenni -- if they wanted her, they could have taken her from Grimmauld Place just like The Burrow.  "Sirius... it wasn't your fault.  If they wanted her, they would've grabbed her from anywhere," I told him.  "And you were just looking out for your little girl... but she did inherit your temper and Em's stubbornness.  So she naturally blew up about it."  I put a hand on his shoulder.  "That may be something you are going to need to tell both of them... I know George is a little intimidated by you to say the least and Lenni would probably like to hear that coming from you."  I sighed and ran a hand through my hear.  "I can assure you, though, that I doubt Lenni blames you.  And I know that she is grateful that we came in at the end."

I saw him sort of let go of his nerves as he seemed more well, relaxed in a sense. I mean, I think he's pretending for my sake. I just want to have everything go back to normal. " I don't like thinking I am weak..." I said quietly. They took away my safety and I was sure as hell going to get it back. I can't close my eyes. I see it happening over and over again. " How am I supposed to sleep?" I asked him. I didn't want him to lose sleep because I wasn't sleeping.

I sat down next to Dean in his bed, still holding his hand.  I put my other arm around him and pulled my son closer to me so he could rest against me.  "Everything is alright now, sweetie... you can rest.  Everyone made it out," I told him softly.  They might not all be okay, but with time things would get there.