Telling Daddy -- Spring 1997

I held my mum's hand and had my forehead in my other palm. I just sat there. I had my eyes closed and I wouldn't let the tears fall. everyone would need us to be strong. But Remus was practically my adoptive father. He helped raise me when my dad couldn't be there. What would I do without him? He was my go-to adult for anything at school. He was my go-to adult when I couldn't talk to my parents... what would any of us do? He was so sweet... so gentle... Will needed him. Lucy. Aunt Chloe. They all needed him. Please... don't let this be as bad as it seems... please. We can't lose Remus, I thought -- no, I prayed.

I looked over to Lucy, " No news is good news kiddo.." I said simply. Sighing, " They had to have him stable....before they did the procedure." I explained. Not knowing what to do. Mooney was in the hospital and Prongs is gone and Peter is ....well.....

I crossed my arms and stared at him. "That's what they tell people when it's not good. So give it to me straight, Uncle Sirius. Or I swear, I will go find out myself from somebody," I warned. I had an attitude. Uncle Sirius should know that by now... he had to babysit us enough times. He should know I meant it.

I so wanted to go out to Sirius and pull hi aside and get the real details, but I just couldn't leave Chloe like this and I wasn't about to leave Dean, either.  So I sat there waiting.  I stifled a smile when I saw Lucy giving him attitude.  I didn't know what she said... but the look on her face was priceless.

I sighed, How is she so stubborn....oh right I know her parents are stubborn. " They had to make sure he could handle having the surgery before they did it.." I explained. " They had to make sure ...he would be okay for it. That Boris would help him....but Boris is being to slow." I explained. " I only know that much Lucy..." I told her as she looked about in tears. I pulled my pretty much second daughter into a hug. " He'll be fine " I told her. More convincing myself as well. I needed him to....everyone needed him to.

I practically melted in Uncle Sirius's arms, trying not to cry. At least he gave it to me straight... well, for all he knew anyways. I hated Boris right now. I hated Fenrir.... I hated that Daddy even had to go through any of this! Because I had to fall in love with Fenrir's son! But I did love Ayden... and I didn't care if any of these guys hated his guts. It wasn't his fault his dad was a deranged psychopath. "I hope so," I said to my uncle, still blinking back my tears.

I nodded tightening my hug. Remembering the hugs game I did with her when she was younger. " Sweetie...you know your dad is one of the strongest men I know....he's handled a lot more ....than this.." I said trying very hard to not get upset. " Why don't you go inside..I'll be there in a minute. " I told her to go with Ayden. I didn't judge the kid. Just his crazy father. I looked towards the surgery entrance. " Come on Mooney.." I said I let the tears fall as I looked down to the ground. No one could see me cry. I was not going to let anyone see it.

I took Ayden's hand and we went inside to be with Mum and everyone else. I believed Uncle Sirius when he said my dad was a tough guy and strong and stuff... but I had seen the fear flash in my daddy's eyes when he told me to send word to everyone. I saw it. He tried to hide it by being fatherly... but it had been there. And until I see those eyes again... I wouldn't believe he was going to be okay. Ayden and I sat down and I leaned my head against his shoulder. I finally let the tears roll down my cheeks. I felt Ayden tighten his grip around me as I started to cry.

The healer came through the doors and saw Sirius sitting there.  Her heart softened a little bit when she saw the stress and tears.  "No need to be like that," she said softly.  "They're stitching him up right now... there were a couple of complications, but he will be in recovery where you can see him in just a little while."  She was holding her hands up due to the fact that her gloves were bloody but she knew they would all want to knwo as soon as possible... and ASAP meant not cleaning up before letting them know everything.  "Is his wife and children still in the waiting room ro did they leave to get a breather?" she asked him.

I jumped up when the healer came out. I smiled when she said he was good. Minor complications but hes getting stiched up. I rushed over to her and said " Thank you!" I said with a smile. " We will be told when we all can see him?" I asked her. " they're in the waiting room"

"Thank you," she said, walking past him, motioning for him to follow her to answer any more questions.  "Mrs. Lupin," she said, addressing Chloe.  That poor woman had never left his side except this once... and this is what happened.  "Remus is doing alright.  There were a few complications, but they're stitching him up as we speak.  I will be back out once he is moved to recovery where you all can see him.  And might I add, he does not need to be stressed out.  You all can stay and go in the room -- it is big enough -- but please, quiet voices, no arguing, nothing along those lines," she warned as she walked away.

About twenty minutes later the Healer returned.  "If you will follow me... I will take you to the recovery room," she said.

I had stood up and nodded to the healer, " Thank you. I understand." I said with a smile. Wiping my eyes. I looked around the room, " Thanks everyone." I know it wasn't needed but I felt that I should say it. The healer came back and we all followed her to the recovery room where we all were waiting to see him.

The healer opened the door and let them all in.  "I don't expect him to wake up this quickly... but we didn't htink he would last time either when he came in," she said quietly.  "I'll leave you all alone."  She exited.

I was relieved that Remus was at least in recovery. He had a long road ahead of him. I followed everyone into the recovery room. He looked so pale. The full moon was just mere nights away... what would happen then? He didn't look like he could survive the change like that or anything. I let the others take the chairs if they wanted them. I stood back a little bit with my arms cross just watching the monitors. I couldn't look at Remus... I could barely believe it was him lying there with the way he looked. The rhythmic sound of the beeping of the monitors gave me some ease.

I was so happy to see Daddy... but he barely looked like him.  He was hooked up to a transfusion again and I moved to one side and held onto his hand.  I knew that this wasn't really good, but at least he could be surrounded by those of us who cared for him.  I squeezed his hand and really hoped that everything would be fine.  I knew that they said he wouldn't wake up for a little while... but I really wanted him to wake up so we could know he was okay.