The Rescue -- July 1997

I looked up and tried to smile.  "You don't have to," I said, shrugging off his absence.  "I'm sure he's fine... just cooling off somewhere..."  I trailed off, realizing how my own voice betrayed me.  We all knew Dean... if he wasn't here, it meant that he was off somewhere doing anything but cooling down.

I turned to her as we were leaving, " You know we'll find him. " Dean and I haven't been close but I wasn't about to have my brother do something to stupid. Even beyond his capabilities, " We'll come back when we find him. "

I sighed. "stay out of trouble," I added as they left. I knew my children...something was bound to happen.

I stayed there in the surgery room. My head was atop of my fathers, or foreheads touching. I refused to cry, but I had my eyes closed. "please..." I said again, not wanting him to go. Her needed to fight.

I had awoke from what seemed like a nap. I had pressure on my head, felt like I needed to take a deep breath. Wake up....come on sirius....get up... I had a full family now. Nothing was going to keep me away from my family. I forced myself to breath.

No matter what I did it always seemed as though when I got something...something else was taken away. It seemed unfair to Dean and Elena if I have my parents now and now there dad..my godfather was in the hospital. I sat beside my mother which I had been dying to do for sixteen years. The time it happens. Someone we all care about is fighting for his life. It was because I wanted to save them.

The sound of my fathers breath was like music to my ears. "thank you...you can fight this... I'm sort you're here in the first place...I love you now fight," I whispered.

I took George's hand and led him out of the room. " Where to start?"

I stood up to move around. I could not just sit there waiting around doing nothing. My heart was pounding still and I had that feeling in my gut. I had to keep telling myself to breath. I excused myself and went into the bathroom to splash water on my face. I started to cry again. I couldn't be without sirius... If he was gone... I honestly didn't know what I would do. I needed to find out anything. Where my kids were... What was going on with sirius.

I had heard what had happened.  Jada sent me an owl explaining that her and Jetty were at St. Mungo's and so was Ember and everyone because Sirius was injured.  I got around and arrived at St. Mungo's.  Instead of asking questions on where to go, I just went to where most critical cases were... I just had a feeling with the way things went with Ember and Sirius, this would be critical.  I walked in and saw the Lupins and... the Potters?  I just stood their frozen for a minute and shook my head to clear it.  Jada was right... she warned me, I just wasnt' sure I believed it.  After Remus told me Ember was in the bathroom I headed in that direction.  If I knew Ember -- and I think I did -- she was probably really close to being done with waiting around if she wasn't already.  I opened the door and saw her trying to compose herself.  "Em... I came as soon as I heard," I said, going ove to her and hugging her.  "I'm so sorry..."

WE had found my brother and were making our way back to the waiting room where everyone was. I had a hold of George's hand and was hanging onto my brother's while he was still in the scrubs. I looked to him, " You may want to change.." I said seeing the blood on him. I didn't get to know where he was but I had a damn good idea.

I had been moved into a different room as I heard all sorts of beeps. Felt all the separate little pokes, not sure from what. I just know I couldn't open my eyes or talk. It hurt to take a deep breath. I sure did take them though. I heard what seemed like tons of people talking, may only be just a few. It was no voice I recognized where was everyone? My family, my extended family.

I looked down at myself and sighed.  My clothes were back where I changed into the scrubs... I could strip down to my boxers because I really didn't care.  "I can't... I have no idea where I left my clothes," I admitted.  That was kind of one of my least concerns.  When we reached where everyone was, I guess I didn't think I'd be that missed.  Everyone had looks of relief cross their faces when they saw us.  Or perhaps they were just worried that we'd get into trouble or smething.  Addison came over to me and I put my free arm around her, careful of my throbbing left hand.  I had hit the wall really hard with it to have cracked some of the plaster.  And I think I broke it... I could barely move it into a different position than what it was in.

I was so happy to see my two children; I had been extremely worried.  I walked over to them both and gave them hugs and a kiss on the cheek and forehead.  "They said we could go in..." I told them.  I had wanted to go in by myself, but I also wanted to go in with the kids.  I felt like it was right to go in together as a family.  "I waited for the two of you since I knew you'd be here shortly..."

I was sitting over with Mum, Jada, and Fred when I saw Dean, Elena, and George come in.  Dean looked like hell.  I couldn't believe that this had all happened.  I stayed put and figured that I'd talk to them later -- including an apology to Elena.