We weren't born to follow....come on and get up off your knees...hold on to what you believe-- December 15 1998

Was I okay with Lincoln kissing my sister in front of me?  Definitely not.  Was I going to say anyting about it?  Definitely not.  I knew what he was planning on doing... we had decided to put aside any differences we had for Juniper's sake.  I just could not help but feel like that was unnecessary.  I was glad that he always put my sister first.  He was good with her and for her.  I just wished that Juniper would realize that... it would do her some good to be happy for a change.  

<< Haha, it works for me!  I was not entirely sure how the kiss was going to go... but I liked the way it turned out! >>

I chuckled slightly and shook my head.  I wish she would believe it, but I knew how hard that was for her.  Just like it was hard for me to even fathom to believe her when she told me Austin's death was not my fault.  "One day I'll get you to believe it," I assured her.  I planned on asking her to marry me... if that was not a good start, then I had no idea what would be.

Faith Potter wrote:Tears stung my eyes as I watched my twin break in front of me. I had no idea how to comfort him, Peter had taken him away too early I never learned what to say to make him feel better. I was figuring out that using Lily's name somewhat worked so I would start there. I ran over and collapsed to my knees next to him, using my bad arm to prevent myself from falling over. I didn't care that it radiated with fresh pain from the hard impact or that I had noticed it had started bleeding again from a wound I had sustained trying to find Evan, all I cared about right now was helping my twin. I had spent my whole life trying to make it up to mum, and even dad and Harry for Evan not being with us. But right now, I had to make it up to Evan for not being there for him our whole lives.

"What about being Lily's family?" I asked gently. "You don't have to be Jame's, or Harry's or even mine if you don't feel like you are." It hurt me to say the last part but hopefully it was the right thing to say. I felt weird calling mum and dad by their real names but I didn't want to set Evan off again. I took a few shaky breath, "She cares about you Evan, she told me every day we were down there. And you're what got me through the imprisonment. I knew you were real. After a while, I thought James and Harry were just stories she told me but I had seen you, I knew you were real." It was true, the longer mum and I had been locked up the harder it was for me to believe that there was another world, a world with my dad and Harry.  But Evan and I had played together, laughed together, had memories together that I used a pensieve to keep. "You still have Lily, you'll always have Lily. And, for what it's worth, you'll always have me."

There was still fighting going on all around us, but at this point in time, I did not care if I got blown up.  It would be a quick way to go and, as of right then, there was nothing for me to live for.  I knew Lily cared.  She told me numerous times now that she was alive and well.  I just had a hard time trusting if any of them were even real.  I had trusted Peter and this was what happened.  I felt tears fall down my cheeks, making paths through the dirt and blood on my face.  I did not even bother to wipe them away.  Faith may think that I will always have her and Lily, but it was clear which son they all loved more.  The one who made them proud; the one who was a true Potter.  Everyone loved Harry... no one cared for the lost cause named Evan.  I shook my head at Faith.  "No one wants me, Faith.  At least, that's the way everyone makes me feel," I told her, pulling myself together.  I decided it; I was done with this life.  I was done with everything.  My world shattered around me -- truths became lies; lies became the truth; everything in between seemed to turn upside down as well.  My heart was pounding in my chest as I stood up.  I took a deep breath and, without a word, walked away from Faith.  I was not entirely sure what I was going to do, but perhaps I could prove to myself who I really was.  I may not be a Potter; I may not be a Pettigrew; I was, however, Evan.  Just Evan.  

I took a quick scan of the fighting to find who needed the most help.  It was clear who was Death Eater and who was an Order member.  I saw Professor Lupin locked in a fight with a Death Eater.  He was doing perfectly fine, but I saw another Death Eater approaching from behind him -- they were going to gang up on him.  I gripped my wand in my hand, knowing that I was only sixteen.  I could not stand up to a full grown wizard for long, but I could give Professor Lupin a fighting chance.  By the time I reached them, Professor Lupin had nearly defeated the first Death Eater.  The second one raised their wand and I stepped between them, attempting to disarm them.  Lights flashed from the tips of both of our wands as our spells flew towards our opponents.  I knew I was standing in the way of the curse from hitting Professor Lupin, but I did not care.  It may be a suicide mission, and that was okay because I was protecting someone who had always been kind to me no matter what.  He never judged me.  I closed my eyes and that was when I felt the pain and the blast that threw me into the air.

<< me too! >>

When Lincoln said that, I got confused. I mean, I hoped we were going to hang out again, I just didn't realize that we were at the stage that it required planning future conversations. I shook my head to clear it, then stopped myself to allowed the pain to pass before I responded. "And one day I'll get you to believe that you hadn't nothing to do with Austin's death. You were trying to protect him, not hurt him." I hated bring it up but at least in this case, what I was trying to convince him of was actually true.

I rolled my eyes at the two of them.  "Neither one of you will succeed," I pointed out, wincing when Mrs. Lupin tightened a splint around my leg.  "You two are both too bloody stubborn."  I did not know the entire story about Lincoln and his brother, but I was not daft.  I figured out enough - which was why I could handle Lincoln being with my sister.

I jumped slightly when Draco spoke, I had almost forgotten he was there. I gave a small laugh at what he said. It was true, neither of us would be able to convince the other of what we wanted, we would just have to accept that. That didn't mean I couldn't try though. "You're probably right, but I can still try." I turned back to Lincoln, "You don't have to worry about that though." I was happy that Mrs. Lupin was looking after Draco, he needed help more then I did. My headache was bad but I would rather have her look at him. He had more people relying on him then I did.

I should have known Draco would have something to say.  I just looked at him and shook my head.  "He's right, though.  We're both too stubborn to change our ways of thinking but also too stubborn to give up trying to help the other from changing the way they think," I agreed.

I nodded but winced in pain. I allowed it to pass before I turned to Lincoln and spoke. "That's true. I think we're just going to have to agree to disagree on this one, for now." Of course I would still try to convince him that he was not at fault in his brothers death, because he wasn't, but we had both heard the opposing argument so much at home, I wondered if we would ever believe anything else. "What do you say?"

"I say you both need to worry about bigger things going on right now... you know, like Juniper's well-being," I added my opinion.  I could see her wincing and being in pain during all of this.  I would prefer it if Mrs. Lupin would focus her attention on my sister rather than me, despite me needing it too.

I nodded at both of the Malfoys.  "Alright... I think you're both right," I said, knowing that June really did need to be looked at and also knowing that agreeing to disagree was the best way to keep this from escalating.

I rolled my eyes slightly, "I'm fine," I tried to assure them both, "Draco's the one who got hit with debris." I knew they probably both knew I really did need to be seen, but I wasn't the one who had been bleeding. "And what about you Lincoln? Are you okay?" I realized I had never asked. I quickly looked him up and down and had to allow the dizziness to pass before I could think again. I was happy that I hadn't seen any major blood spots but that didn't mean he was okay. I knew that above all else. "What made you come here?" I asked. Not only did I not want to talk about me, but I was interested. I knew he wasn't going to say it was because of me, as much as I wanted to hear that.

Evan Potter wrote:

There was still fighting going on all around us, but at this point in time, I did not care if I got blown up.  It would be a quick way to go and, as of right then, there was nothing for me to live for.  I knew Lily cared.  She told me numerous times now that she was alive and well.  I just had a hard time trusting if any of them were even real.  I had trusted Peter and this was what happened.  I felt tears fall down my cheeks, making paths through the dirt and blood on my face.  I did not even bother to wipe them away.  Faith may think that I will always have her and Lily, but it was clear which son they all loved more.  The one who made them proud; the one who was a true Potter.  Everyone loved Harry... no one cared for the lost cause named Evan.  I shook my head at Faith.  "No one wants me, Faith.  At least, that's the way everyone makes me feel," I told her, pulling myself together.  I decided it; I was done with this life.  I was done with everything.  My world shattered around me -- truths became lies; lies became the truth; everything in between seemed to turn upside down as well.  My heart was pounding in my chest as I stood up.  I took a deep breath and, without a word, walked away from Faith.  I was not entirely sure what I was going to do, but perhaps I could prove to myself who I really was.  I may not be a Potter; I may not be a Pettigrew; I was, however, Evan.  Just Evan.  

I took a quick scan of the fighting to find who needed the most help.  It was clear who was Death Eater and who was an Order member.  I saw Professor Lupin locked in a fight with a Death Eater.  He was doing perfectly fine, but I saw another Death Eater approaching from behind him -- they were going to gang up on him.  I gripped my wand in my hand, knowing that I was only sixteen.  I could not stand up to a full grown wizard for long, but I could give Professor Lupin a fighting chance.  By the time I reached them, Professor Lupin had nearly defeated the first Death Eater.  The second one raised their wand and I stepped between them, attempting to disarm them.  Lights flashed from the tips of both of our wands as our spells flew towards our opponents.  I knew I was standing in the way of the curse from hitting Professor Lupin, but I did not care.  It may be a suicide mission, and that was okay because I was protecting someone who had always been kind to me no matter what.  He never judged me.  I closed my eyes and that was when I felt the pain and the blast that threw me into the air.

"Evan?" I asked as he stood up. He was starting to scare me with the way he had been talking. I tried to stop him from leaving but he was too fast. "Evan." I called to try to stop him but he wouldn't listen. I watched where he was going and my eyes widened. I couldn't believe what he was doing, he was going to get himself killed. "Evan!" I cried as I watched him get hit with a curse and thrown in the air. I grabbed my wand out of my pocket as I ran towards the Death Eater who had hit my twin. I knew I was just a kid and I knew I didn't know half the spells that everyone else did but Evan was hurt and it was my fault. I didn't know how to help him and he went off. "Stupefy!" I pointed my wand at the Death Eater and was more surprised then not when the spell actually worked and they collapsed to the ground. I fell to my knees next to Evan and placed two fingers on his neck to check for a pulse. I sighed in relief when I felt one, even if it was weak."He's alive." I told myself with a smile. "Evan, wake up. Come on. Evan, I want you to wake up." I gently shook him, not sure if I would get a response. I looked up and saw Professor Lupin finish off with the Death Eater he had been duelling. He turned towards us. "Professor, please help us. It's Evan." I said desperately. Evan had to be okay. We had just found each other again after all this time. He couldn't leave me now, we were just starting to really know each other. He couldn't die, not now. Not ever.

I smiled and nodded at her.  "I'm fine," I assured her.  I had gotten through to the Great Hall without too much trouble.  I had a few nicks and scratches, but nothing I could not handle.  I was not even sure if I felt them happen when they did as they were so minor compared to what I had been used to.  I squeezed her hand gently when she asked why I came.  "I had to make sure you were okay," I told Juniper softly.

"Are you sure?" I asked. I could usually read him quite well and he didn't seem to be in any pain although with his past he was better then most at hiding it if he was. And I knew he would try to hide it from me. I closed my eyes and focused on his hand in mine to clear my head. I didn't need them to see me wince in pain if I tried to shake my head again. He said he had come to make sure I was okay. He was making it more difficult for me to distance myself from him. I had been trying to do so since I had be forced to take the Dark Mark but he always seemed to push the boundaries I set. Maybe I should stop trying as hard to make him go away. I opened my eyes. "I'm fine. See I'm not bleeding" I felt like a broken record but if I wanted to convince them, I had to believe it myself.

I watched as Faith and Evan were speaking as I scanned the zones for Tom as I knew he was waiting for a time when everyone was most vulnerable. Had he sent Evan to kill dad. If he did, I will soon know. I turned as Faith had Evan under control, I helped a few first years get away from McNair, " Stupefy!" I shouted as they ran towards the castle as I ran toward the man who could end this. " TOM!" I shouted. I was going to get his attention no matter what. " TOM!" I shouted again. " COME ON! I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR ME!"