I would be lost if it weren't for you -- Summer 1992

I was actually doing alright at the new place -- and Mum still let me go see Remus and Chloe whenever I wanted to so long as it was okay with them.  It was almost a year since Dad passed away - well, was murdered - adn I was trying to work on my anger issues around it.  They were getting better.  I had been writing Remus nonstop while he was at school... and I was being the good brother and checked in on Penny, too.  Yeah, she was older, but still. I felt a bit protective of her. 

finally, though, Remus was home.  He was coming over to see the new place since we went to the cottage and lake over the Christmas holiday.  I heard his voice and grinned, running down the stairs of the new place and nearly running into him.  "Remus!" I exclaimed, giving him a big hug.

I lost my breath when Nate hugged me.  I was pleased to see that his hair looked like he was electrocuted:  so blonde it was nearly white with black tips and it was spiked up on it's ends.  He always kept his facial features the same and his eyes were always the dark brown.  He got those from Dad, so I had a feeling he did not want to mess with them.  I grinned at him.  "Did you put your finger in a light socket?" I questioned playfully.

I grinned.  "You like it, yea?" I said, running my hand over the spikes, but not flattening them down any.  "Come up and see my room and stuff!  I have it clean now.  And Mum also bought me this really cool new bed set.  It's as crazy as me."  I grabbed my brother's arm and nearly dragged him up tot he loft I called a room.

"You look great," I said to him, grinning.  I followed him upstairs to his loft-like bedroom.  I looked around and only to a ten year old would this room be considered clean.  Chuckling, I let him drag me to where he had a lovely oak headboard and a sporadically colored bedding set on his bed.  He was right, i twas as crazy as he was.  I smiled.  "That looks awesome, Nate," I said to my little brother, embracing my inner child like I did whenever I was playing with the kids.

I grinned happily.  "I really like it," I said to him.  "And this whole area is mine... it's perfect, really.  I wish... I'm just glad it was thought of before..." I shrugged it off, not wanting to talk about Dad.

I nodded at him and sat down on his cool new bed.  "This whole area is great," I agreed with him.  "Have you had any mates over yet to show it off?"

I shook my head at my brother.  "Not yet," I said.  "I don't know who I'd have over, really."  I had not made many mates now that we moved.  Not that I had any to begin with.

"It's wonderful that you have a place to get away from the girls," I said to him playfully.  I knew this entire thing was hard on him -- Dad had been there for him during the full moons like he had been there for me.  The move was good for them, though.  It gave them a fresh start.  "Well, I'm sure you can make mates with the neighbors that are close by.  Or you could always have Will over.  I'm sure he'd love to see your new room."

I sighed, shrugging.  "I don't think that the neighbors would like me," I said to him.  "I know that Mum isn't as strict as things were back when you were first bitten... but still.  Remus, there's no point in making mates.  I'd still have to lie."

I looked at Nate and wished that he would see the better of things.  "Nate, you'll find trute mates that you won't have to lie to like I did," I assured him.  "And hopefully one day we wont' have to lie at all."