Maybe I'm too proud to say I missed you -- Summer 1998

I had just finished my final year of school at Alma Aleron.  I had come back to England to stay.  I lost Madelyn and all my other friends basically.  I knew where my loyalties stood -- it was drilled into my head since the day I was born by my father.  After having Lyn, Iggy, and everyone else... well, I wavered a little bit.  Now that I was home, I was going to have to get my head in the game.

No one was at the Portkey location when I arrived home and I just took the Knight Bus to the vicinity of our home.  I walked the rest of the way.  I was not expecting to find Ayden home when I arrived, but there he was.  It looked like he was getting ready to leave, though. 

"You're not going to leave home without saying hello to your brother at least," I said to him, grinning at the fact that I made him jump slightly.

I jumped at the voice and realized it was Nolan.  I turned and grinned at him, giving him a warm hug.  "Nolan, is it great to see you," I said to him sincerely.  But I noticed that there was something strange in the way that he looked.  Oh, no... he was getting back involved with Dad more now that he was home for good.  I recognized the look every time he got back -- even on the first day back from Virginia.

I was glad to receive a hug; but I could tell that the gap between us was getting larger and larger by each passing year... and no bridge would ever be able to bring us back together.  I was not entirely sure if we could, but it was worth a shot.  Ayden was my brother.  My first mate, in all honesty.  I leaned against the frame of his doorway.  "Where you off to?" I questioned, my eyebrows raised and indicating the bag.

I shrugged.  I did not want to tell him in fear that he would tell Father.  And I definitely did nto want Father to show up where the Lupins resided.  It would not be good at all.  "Nowhere important," I said to him indifferently.  "Have you been home long?"  I had not heard him come in... but that did not mean anything.

I did not believe my brother when he said nowhere important.  "You're going to go to Lucy, aren't you?" I questioned.  I knew about Lucy Lupin.  We were brothers after all.  We did get along mostly.  "And not long."

My eyes widened slightly when I thought about Nolan knowing where I was going.  I shrugged, knowing he could use his werewolf senses to tell that I was panicked slightly.  "Don't worry about where I'm going, Nolan," I said, shrugging his question off.  "And I'm glad I didn' tmiss you, though.  I like to see my brother a bit, you know?"

I smirked slightly when I heard his heartbeat quicken.  "You could always stay home and you'd see me for more than a bit," I countered lightly, though I was dead serious.  I knew Dad and Ayden did not get along and there were many things that I did not know the full details to that had happened between them, but still.  We were Ayden's family.  He should stay here with us instead of betraying Dad and going off to the Lupins.

I looked at Nolan.  "If I could, you know I would," I said to him quietly.  I could not stay there with Dad, however, even if Nolan could never understand that.  I was not one of them and nothing would change that, no matter how hard either one of them tried.  "You know that, don't you?" I loved my brother and I wanted him to know that, but I could not stay in a volatile place.

I sighed.  "You barely even try to stay here," I said to him, disgruntled.  "I know it's rough... but it's never that bad where you can't be with your own brother.  It's whatever... just go.  It's what you want."  I hated when he chose someone else over his own family.  First it was his mate Stephanie and now it was Lupin of all people.

I looked at Nolan and could not believe that I was actually hearing him voice something that was a bit emotional.  "Of course I would stay here to be with my big brother," I said to him honestly.