Lost and insecure, you found me -- November 1981

We both cried enough tears that there was nothing left.  I still held her afterwards and I realized she had finally drifted off to sleep.  It did not take me that much longer to fall asleep once Ember had drifted.

Soon there was light filtering through the window and woke me up.  I saw that it was almost ten in the morning.  I looked down and realized that we had barely moved int he night; we had both been so exhausted that we had crashed and did not even have a chance for a dream to make us move.  and the fact we were that tired, we slept in.  Ember was still asleep.  I slowly eased myself out of her grasp and headed into the kitchen.  I found some things in her flat to make a spot of breakfast and some tea.  

Not too long after I started cooking some sausages, Ember scuffled out of the bedroom.  she had lost one of her wool socks and her hair had fallen out of the messy bun it had been in the night before.  I attempted a smile.  "I figured you'd appreciate some breakfast," I said to her.  the air was chilly outside of the bedroom and the warmth of ember beside me, but one had to start facing reality again.

I smiled slightly at Remus and yawned, stretching while I walked into the kitchen.  "Thanks," I said to him.  "I didn't know I had all this in my flat, though."  In all honesty, I had not gone for groceries for at least the last week.  That did not mean ti was not already here, it just meant that I was not.

I walked over to see what was in the skillet on the stove and took hold of Remus's arm as I smelled the aroma of a nice, though small, breakfast.  I realized what I was doing and stepped back from him, trying to hide it by pouring us some tea that he clearly had made already.  I cleared my throat slightly before speaking.  "Erm... so last night..." I said, trailing off.

Her hand on my arm almost made goosebumps appear.  I put the breakfast on two plates and took my time to answer her when she trailed off.  "Ah, yes, last night," I said to her with a bit of a sigh.  "Probably wise if we don't read into it; we were both mourning and hurting."  We still were, but at least I would get my point across.

Remus's words felt like knives in my chest.  I started to bite the nail on my thumb and nodded. "Yeah, you're right," I said, waving my hands a bit, just for something to do.  "We just needed someone there that we trusted and cared for to help us make it through the night."  My eyes met his as I was trying to make a point, but at the same time I was scared to death.  I just lost my brother and sister; Harry was off to live with Petunia and Vernon; Sirius was gone; Peter was murdered.  Remus was alone just like I was.  This was not the time to even think about doing a bloody thing with each other.  I could not believe we actually slept in the same bed.

I could sense her fear more than see it.  Fear of what, though?  That I could not tell... I could only sense so many things with my other side.  I swallowed and took a deep breath.  "Ems... I..." I trailed off, knowing that anything that I said to her would nearly belittle her.  I went to her and put my hands on her shoulders.  I gently kissed her forehead, keeping my lips there for a moment while I closed my eyes before taking a step back again.  "You are right... we needed each other and will always need each other.  You know that being there for you is not just a one time thing."

I thought he would end up walking away from me, but Remus stayed there after kissing my forehead and left his hands on my shoulders.  I lifted mine up and put them on top of his.  Swallowing all inhibitions and doubts -- and pushing away the fact that we were both mourning -- I stood on my toes and kissed him.  It was just a light, sweet kiss on his surprisingly soft lips.  I flatttened my feet and let go of him.  "Thank you," I said to him quietly, "for being there for me."  I was not sure how he woudl take the kiss, so I figured I would try to follow it up with something innocent.

I swallowed hard; what were we doing?  We were grieving.  That was why we were acting so oddly.  I felt myself trying to walk away from her, but I could not.  Her eyes were mesmerizing.  I bent down and started snogging Ember.  All logic had been thrown out the window.  Her hands tangled in my hair and my hands were on the small of her back, pulling her closer to me.  I felt my other side rearing its head and stopped.  

"Ems... my other side," I said to her, unable to call it my furry little problem.  James, Sirius, and Peter all came up with that.  I did nto want to think of that.