Wanting Answers -- Winter Break 1993

It was the Christmas holiday after his first look at Hogwarts and I worried what had happened to him there.  I realized that the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor was our dear friend Remus.  He would have his questions about Evan being a Potter.  I ought to have changed the last name -- what had I been thinking?  Evan had been quiet since he arrived back here the previous day and I worried more than I ever had before.  "Evan?  I made some lunch before I have to leave," I said, having to go to care for the other Potters whom he thought were dead.  And I wanted to see Jetty to make sure he was handling everything alright.

I looked up at Peter.  He was always gone.  I constantly stayed with the house elf.  I was okay with that, but I missed him when he was gone for those long periods of times.  He said it was to keep cover as a rat.  Why couldn't he just be a dad to me?  I sighed, getting up and going out to the kitchen.  "Thanks Peter," I said politely, sitting down and taking a bite of my sandwich.

I sat down and started eating as well, wondering if he was going to start talking.  AFter a few minute sof silence, I decided it was tim eto speak.  "How's school going, evan?" I inquired.

I looked up at Peter, still chewing my bite of sandwich.  It still took me a moment to answer after having swallowed.  "It's fine," I replied.  "I like all my classes and am doing well in them."

I did not like the way that he was disconnected from the conversation.  "That's good," I said to him, pleased that he was adjusting well to Hogwarts.  "Have you had any problems with students... professors?" I was interested in what Remus had said to him.  I was sure that he had spoken to Evan privately -- it was something that he would do.

What was he getting at?  Did he know that Professor Lupin and I were getting kind of close?  I hated lying to Professor Lupin, but I did not want to tell him everything about Peter.  It was har, though... he was so easy to trust.  I sighed.  "No, there's been no problems.  Professor Snape isn't necessarily mean to me... but I don't think he likes me.  That's about it, though," I replied carefully.

I nodded, having expected Snape to be like that.  Evan looked so much like his mother... but with his father's attitude.  "Well, Snape has his reasons," I said to Evan carefully.  "How have your other professors been?  Lupin giving you problems?" I asked.

"I know it's because he loved my mum," I said to Peter simply.  I looked up at him and shrugged. " Professor Lupin has been great, actually.  He did hasn't been up in my business... not like you might think."

I raised my eyebrows.  "You know that about Snape?" I inquired, unable to believe that the young kid could be so perceptive.  What else was he aware of then?  "And... I'm glad that Remus hasn't been too bad.  I expected him to be very intrusive.  He tends to be able to see right through people.  Be wary of him."

I eyed Peter warily.  What was he talking about?  Be wary of Professor Lupin?  Peter always told me that he was kind.  "What are you talking about?" I inquired.  "Why should I be wary?"

I sighed.  "Because he is far more perspective than he lets on," I said to my son.  "You know that he might end up asking you personal quesitons.  We don't want him finding out about me."

Of course I already realized that.  I was going to keep an eye on it, naturally.  But I wanted this relationship.  He brought me closer to my mum.  I wanted to speak with Professor Snape, but I did not think he liked me at all.  I would keep working on him, though.  "I know how to keep you a secret," I said to him simply.

I looked at Evan and sighed.  I did not want to alienate him at all.  He was the only thing I really had to have family.  "I know you do," I assured him.  "I'm very proud of you for that, too."

I barely looked up at Peter when he said that.  "can I be alone now?" I asked, not wanting to deal with his questions right now.

I sighed.  Evan was starting to be more and more like his father than he ever would realize if I had anything to do with it.  "Evan, no.  Just listen to me," I snapped.  "I just need to know everything that Professor Lupin has said to you.  It's best if you tell me sooner rather than later."