You continue to exist, he continues to exist, but you don't exist together -- Winter 1983 (DONE)

I was on my way home from yet another disappointing job venture.  It was extremely frustrating -- I had a family to support.  I decided I would double check on the Black family -- Ember had been looking rather frazzled lately.  I knocked lightly on the door as I did not want to wake the kids; it was rather late.  I hoped that I would not scare her  Things were still getting back to normal and late night visitors were still worrisome.

I glanced at the clock and saw it read nearly eleven at night.  I was wearin gmy pajama pants and one o fSirius's t-shirts.  Who would be coming around at this time of night?  I grabbed my wand before I looked out the window to see who was there.  Relief flooded me when I saw that it was Remus.  I opened the door and smiled.  "Remus!" I said happily in a whisper.  "Com in."  I pulled him into an embrace.  "Let's go to the kitchen.. away from his mother..." That was one of the two things that we could not remove from the house when we got it.

I nodded and followed Ember.  Grimmauld Place was slowly turning into a home thanks to Ember.  Once we could speak normally, I looked at her.  "How ar eyou holding up?" I asked her, wondering if she would confide in me.  She lost so much in a very short time.

I smiled slightly and shrugged.  "Tea?" I offered.  I hoped that I could eventually distract him from myself because how could I even begin to explian how I was feeling?

"Sure," I said since she was making some for herself.  I sighed an dwaited until we each had a cup in our hands before continuing.  "Ems... you've been lookign really beat lately," I noted.

Of course he would not let it drop.  I smiled slightly and took a deep breath along with a sip of tea.  "Well, it's been rough," I admitted.  "Work got a little crazy and is stressing me out more than normal with two small children who have never really seen their father except behind bars... if that.  Azkaban is no place for young children.  And to top it all off... I lost my brother and sister, never see my nephew or hear if he's okay, and my parents were lost not too long before all of that."  I realized I started to ramble and tears came to my eyes.  "I'm sorry... I'm just tired," I added.  I wiped my eyes and took another sip of my tea.

I wathced her closely and shook my head, reaching out and taking he rhand.  "Ems... I know it's rough.  You are one of the strongest women I know -- you'll make it through all of this.  You and Sirius," I assured her.  In the time I had off -- which was a lot -- I tried to find Peter.  Clearly I had no idea where he was, but I knew Sirius did not kill him.  I believed my best mate on that.

Remus always knew what to say to help me feel better about everything going on.  "I know... but it doesn't make any of this any easier," I replied, wanting to point that out.  I was a single mother - basically - just trying to give her children everything they deserved.

I put my hand on her shoulder.  "Trust me, I know," I assured Ember.  I knew all of that much too well.  "You don't need to tell me."

the tone of his voice made me take another glance at him.  He almost looked worse than the last time I saw him.  "Remus... why are you out and about and not home with CHloe and the kids?" I questioned, taking a sip of tea.

I did not answer Ember right away and instead took a drink of my own tea.  "The newest job of mine," I explained with a slight grimace.  "It's a horrid job, but I need something -- Chloe can't be the only one working.  I'd prefer it if she could stay home with Will and Lucy... it's just not possible."  I hated that, too.  I should be able to provide for them and I could not.

I reached out and pu ta hand on top of his.  "Remus, you know Chloe doesn't mind - nor does it change how she thinks and feels about you," I replied as softly and kindly as I could.  He had to know that.

She was always one who tried to help others instead of focusing on herself.  "I know... but I can't hlep but worry," I explained, chuckling at myself slightly.

I shook my head and stood up, placing my empty cup into the sink.  "Let's just hope that your kids won't get the Lupin worry gene," I teased.  It seemed like a trait they always had.

Now I did laugh out loud.  "I hope for the same thing," I confided.  I looked at Ember and was glad to see that she looked a little bit better.  I gave her a hug and a kiss on the forehead.  "Just stay strong; you'll get him back," I said to her, confident that Sirius would one day be a free man.