I, I will be king and you, you will be queen -- Winter 1998

It was Christmas time and after everything was said and done.  The Dark Lord was gone... Juniper was as safe as she could be.  I had Draco's blessing - well, at least as much of one as I could get.  It was now time.  I had just finished setting everything up in the park.  The lights were ready to be lit for when Juniper arrived.  I sent word to her to meet me out here and I checked my watch; she would nearly be here.  I was never more nervous before in my life.  I took my position behind one of the beautiful willow trees and waited.

Eve had brought me a letter from Lincoln asking me to meet him in the park.  I had never been more confused. It was the end of December, freezing outside, and he wanted me to meet him in the middle of a park? I changed into jeans, a long sleeved t-shirt, hoodie, and thick winter coat with a scarf, hat and mitts. I sighed as I made my way to the meeting spot.

Once I got there, I realized how dark it seemed and I didn't see him yet. As I walked, I turned in a circle to make sure I hadn't missed him when suddenly, lights that were hung in the near by trees turned on, they looked like stars. I was instantly on hight alert though. I knew that we had won the war and the Dark Lord was dead but what if one of the Death Eaters hadn't been captured and forced Lincoln to write out that message? What if this was all a trap? I tried to calm myself down with deep breaths. "Lincoln?" I called out. "Lincoln, where are you? It's freezing out here." I kept my voice steady. If Lincoln had be captured, I hoped that by calling out I was letting him know help was on the way. I would not let him get hurt. I put my hand over my wand to reassure myself that I could protect us if I had to.

<< poor June, I'm pretty sure she'll always be on edge.....let me know if it's okay.... >>

I could hear the worry in her voice and I could not say I blamed her after everything that she had been through in the past.  I stepped out from behind the tree I was nearest and looked at her, a smile playing at my lips.  "Do you remember some of my words of advice were that I spoke to you?" I asked her, feeling bad when I had seen her jump slightly at the sound of my voice.

I gasped in shock and jumped as I turned when a male voice spoke. It took me a moment to recognize the voice as Lincoln's. I sighed in relief as I quickly looked him over and saw he seemed at least physically fine. "Lincoln." I said with a small smile, not being able to keep the relief out of my voice. I looked around one last time to make sure no one else was there, waiting to hurt us, before I allowed myself to relax slightly and I made my way towards him. I though about the question he ask and found it a little weird. Hadn't most everyone stopped asking questions like that to ensure that the person in front of them was who they thought they were and not disguised with Polyjuice potion? I was almost right in front of him before answering. "Of course, 'Prove them wrong.' And what were we doing when you said that to me?" I asked. I couldn't wait until the day we wouldn't feel the need to do this but I understood, I was a Death Eater, no one trusted me.

My laughter filled the little area we were in.  That was not exactly what I was getting at, but I did need to answer her.  "I was helping you learn some magic and protecting you from some girl teasing you," I said, walking towards her.  "But that was not exactly what I was getting at, June."  I took hold of her hands.  "You have tried so hard to do that... and, despite what you think, you have done just that -- or else certain things would not have been done to try to keep you in their grasps."  

I took a deep breath, squeezing her hands comfortingly.  "Despite what I say or tell you, I know that you never believe it when I say that your worth it and that i love you, but I want to spend the rest of my life proving you wrong."  I got down on one knee and pulled out a ring.  "Juniper, will you marry me?" I asked softly.

<< Yes, I did kinda jump ahead quickly, but because I wanted to set you up for post 1000!!!  lol >>

<< no problem! June couldn't think of a better way to celebrate her 1000th post then saying yes to marrying her best friend ..... Okay, maybe not yes quite yet but she will....it's June...lol >>

Everything he had said before he asked me the question temporarily left. All I saw was Lincoln, on one knee with a ring, asking me, the disappointment of the Malfoy family, to marry him. My mouth fell open in shock and my hands flew up to cover it. A thousand things were going through my mind at once. I wanted to say yes, let him put the ring on my trembling hand, and hug him. I wanted to laugh and I wanted to cry. But there was also a part of me that wanted to protect him, that needed to protect him from my family and I. That small part of my mind told me to say no, run away, and never look back. Friendship was one thing but this was, hopefully, a lifelong commitment he was asking for.

It took me a few moments to realize he was waiting for an answer. I lowered my hands slightly. "Umm..." I somehow managed through a ragged breath I hadn't realized I had been holding. I finally let it out. Whatever the reason I thought Lincoln had wanted to met me here for, this was the furthest thing from my mind. I shook my head slightly, not saying no, but just in complete disbelief. "But I'm a Death Eater and a Malfoy." I finally replied, as if that should be enough of a reason for him to take back the question. Tears were starting to sting my eyes. I wanted to marry him more than anything, but he was right, I would never believe that anyone could love me that way when I was what I was. "You deserve someone so much better than me." The tears were too hard to hold back and I did not want him to see them. I turned around and silently began to cry. I just hoped Lincoln was not upset by my reaction. It's not like I had said no, I just could not bring myself to believe that someone as great as him would want to spend the rest of their life with someone like me.

I had expected something like this to happen.  I stood up and put my hands on her shoulders, gently forcing her to look at me.  "Juniper, being a Malfoy means putting family first... being there for one another no matter what lies ahead... doing the impossible and making the best choices in the worst situations," I said to her.  I knew she would not believe me when I said that, though.  "It's what you and Draco have made the Malfoy name mean.  And that's all that matters."

It took me a moment to process what he had said. It was all true, but not in the way he thought. I shook my head. "That's not what the Malfoy name means. All of that was just what Draco and I had to do to survive, to make sure the other was okay. To protect each other." I took a shaky breath, trying to force the tears away. "All the Malfoy name means is pain and misery." I informed him. "You should know, you've met my Father." I sighed. "Either way, I'm still a Death Eater. I'll always be a Death Eater." No matter what my reason was for taking the Mark, I still had it. No one as good as Lincoln could possibly want to be with a Death Eater, even if they had been forced to become one.

I rolled my eyes, unable to stop myself.  "June, when will you learn that you can't push everyone away -- especially me?" I asked, having stood up and crossing my arms in front of me, giving her a slightly stern look.  "You can be in denial about the change you've made for yourself and for Draco, but outsiders can see it even if you can't."

I gave hallow laugh, "That's not a good thing, that everyone can see the changes Lincoln. That means that we're not doing a good job of keeping up with the Malfoy reputation. Although, I'm not sure why I care about that when, according to Father, I'm no longer a Malfoy anyway." I sighed as I tried to shrug it off as no big deal. Of course I knew why I cared, I had to protect my family. Even though I was disowned, I still felt like I had to keep up with the Malfoy reputation to protect Draco, Pansy, the twins and Lincoln, even if he wasn't a Malfoy. Tears were still coming down and none of this was helping to get them to stop. "I'm still trying to push you away because you aren't part of this family. There's still a chance for you to get out. To get away from the sick, twisted future you'll have if you're with me. That was your past Lincoln, you deserve a much better future than you'll have with me."

"June... what if -- just think about this -- what if I'm the one who's supposed to save you, not the other way around?" I suggested.  She was not going to get rid of me that easily.

I blushed slightly at that thought but shook my head to clear it, hoping it was cold enough that my blush would be covered by my cheeks turning red from the chill in the air. I did as he asked though and thought about it. It took me a minute to organize my thoughts. "If it were anyone else, I would say good luck because anyone else would probably run away screaming when they found out about my life." I began slowly with a sigh. "But you?" I asked as I looked up into his eyes. "I'd say that you're different. That you've already saved me more times than I can count, more times than I deserve and more times than I can ever think of repay you for." I took a shaky breaths, my tears still coming slowly. "I would also say that you're smart enough to know a hopeless case when it standing right in front of you." I said everything softly, almost helplessly, wanting to believe him so badly but it was best for everyone if I didn't, if I remembered what Father always said to me. I blinked a few times to try to keep some of the tears back before I continued. "I also know you'll probably try to argue some of those facts but we can just skip that part and move on."

I took hold of her hands, looking into her teary eyes.  I would wipe away any tears that would fall.  "Move on to what?" I asked, eyebrows raised.  I could not help but have a bit of smirk playing at my lips at where my thoughts were already going with that aspect.

I laughed, despite myself and the tears that had started to fall, when I saw the smirk on his face. "Apparently we need to move on from this topic too. Do I even want to know what was going through your mind?" I sighed as I looked into his eyes. "Lincoln, your past was full of pain and misery. I don't care how used you are to that, you got out. That's what matters. Don't let me drag you back down with me. Because that is exactly what will happen if you're with me." I had to take a few shaky breaths. My head tilted to the side and my eyes narrowed slightly in confusion as a thought hit me. "And you know that." He knew what my life was like better than anyone outside the Malfoy family. Why would he willingly put himself into that situation when he worked so hard to get out of his own? I couldn't let him to that to himself. No matter how much it hurt me, I had to keep trying to push him away. That was getting harder to do though.

"Well, I was hoping for an answer," I said a smile playing at my lips.  As she spoke, the smile faded.  "I thought you said we were going to skip all of this and move on?" I really was trying to lighten the mood, but she was making it rather difficult.