I'm Permanent -- Spring 2005 (DONE)

"How is he doing?" I asked Draco.  I was worried about Dorian.  I knew what happened, of course.  Lucius and I had discussed Keegan.  As her mother, I wanted to protect her as much as possible.  And this was the best thing for her.  She would have been ridiculed and I would not let that happen.  So I went behind Draco and spoke with Lucius about everything.  That was all I knew.  It still brok emy heart that it needed to be done this way.

I sighed, resting my chin on her shoulder.  "He's having nightmares," I answered quietly.  "You wont' be sleeping with your husband for a few nights."  I kissed her cheek and moved away from her a little bit.

I took his hand to keep him from walking away.  I could never tell him what Luciu and I discussed and what his father had gone through with.  "How are you holding up, Draco?  I'm really worried about you, too," I told him, squeezing his hand comfortingly.

I attempted a reassuring smile to her.  "I'm okay," I lied.  I just buried my little girl; how could I be okay?

I looked at him.  "Draco, you need to stop beating yourself up about this.  How could you have known what happened ould come to play?" I asked.  I wanted him to stop blaming himself for everything; it definitely was not his fault.

I knew she was right, but it was my job to protect both of my children no matter what.  "I know, Pansy... I know," I said.  It did not make me feel any better about all of it.

I gave Draco a kiss and we dropped it for the rest of the day.  It was time to get Ian to bed.  I got him bathed and in his pajamas.  We walked to his bedroom and I gave him a kiss goodnight as Draco came in.  "Actually get sleep, boys," I warned them.

"Night, Pansy," I said, giving her a kiss before she left.  I got in bed with my little boy and let him snuggle up to me.  I heard him start sniffling.  "Ian... it's okay.  Shh..."I soothed.

I curled as close to Dad as I could.  "Dad... do you promise never to leave me?" I asked quietly, trying not to cry.

I held Dorian tightly.  "I will always be there fo ryou.  I know right now you feel all alone without your sister.  I assure you that no matter what I'll be here to hold your hand.  I'm permanent," I promised him.

I looked up and smiled.  "You promise?" I asked, wanting to make sure that he would never leave me.

I gave him a kiss on the forehead.  "I promise," I assured him.  I felt comfort when I saw his eyes close and him drift off to sleep.