I am an inexhaustible source of awkwardness right now - Winter Break 2019

I could not get anything else from Stan before I heard Dad coming out.  I groaned and knew that I was going to be in trouble.  I turned around and saw him.  "I wasn't that bad, Dad," I started, getting defensive already because he always seemed to defend Juliet more than myself.

I nodded Dean left the bathroom, " It is always better to attempt to get a hold on yourself....a.k.a your double." , I hate having this conversation with Ryan, all the time. I feel bad, I'm not trying to take Addison's place. I just love Dean and I will be there for them if the ever need me too. They shouldn't feel like they have to tell me something. Before he left the room I rushed into our room swiftly, I was not in the mood to have the all staring at me while they had the chat.

I smirked and was about to open my mouth in response to Ryan when Dad came out.  And that was my cue to leave.  I meandered out to the kitchen and started to get some tea around.  I was sure that Juliet would appreciate a cup and Dad wold probably need one after an argument with Ryan.  I was so used to getting all of this around without my sight since I was nearly of age now.  Now it was just time to wait for the rain to fall from this whole argument.

I looked at Ryan and lead him to the living room, trying to give Juliet some peace.  "I know you weren't," I said to him.  When we sat down, I sighed.  "What's so urgent that you needed to interrupt a shower, anyways?  Juliet sort of told me what you said, but I think it'd be best if I heard it from you."  I hated how strained it was between the two of them.  Stan and Dona seemed to love Juliet and were perfectly okay with everything since she made me happy.  I knew that things moved quickly, but it just seemed right to me and to her.

I sighed, running  hand through my hair.  "Well, Kat and I... we haven't been able to do anything. Which used to never happen... with anyone before.  What do you think is the matter?" I asked, knowing my dad would have some good insight.

I stared at him, wondering how he thought that this was important enough to interrupt my shower -- if it had been mine, of course.  "Ryan... you need to realize that this isn't what I consider an emergency," I said to him, shaking my head.  "However... the reason why the two of you may be having issues is due to the fact that you are putting too much pressure on yourselves or something."  I could not believe that he considered this a dire emergency.  I was going to have to set up new rules or something now that Juliet was around a lot more.

Was I really getting in trouble for this?  It used to not matter to Dad.  But now all of a sudden it does.  I sighed.  At least he ewas still giving me advice.  "Pressure?  There is no pressure.  It's not like we haven't done this plenty of times with other people," I pointed out to my dad.

I waited in the kitchen, drinking some tea, easily hearing the conversation between Ryan and Dad.  Yes, I was eavesdropping... but only because I thought this entire situation hilarious.

I laughed at my son. "Ryan," I said to him, shaking my head again.  "You may not think that there's any pressure... but the fact that you both are as -- experienced -- as you two are, you have expectations.  And you two have spent years flirting nonstop with each other so now you've built this... this sort of odd barrier between the two of you full of expectations... and you're probably nervous because you have real feelings for Kat.  If you didn't have real feelings, there would be no problem," I assured him.

I could see how hard it was for Dad to even talk about this that I forgave him instantly for laughing at me.  I sighed and looked at him.  "Well that sort o makes sense," I said to him, not wanting to admit I had real feelings for Kat.  "But I don't, you know.  We just want to get this all over with... it's not a real thing or antyhing."

I bit my tongue to keep myself from smiling at my son.  He would not appreciate that at all.  "Ryan... keep telling yourself that," I said to him.  "But... I hate to break it to you, I believe it does have some real feelings."

I sighed.  My dad was right, of course.  I just did not want to deal with it.  I just wanted to flirt and have fun... why did feelings have to get involved?  "How did you handle it when feelings got involved...?" I asked Dad.  I did not want to hear about him and Juliet, but I wanted to hear about how he handled things with feelings.  And I guess that included her, too.

I chuckled at him. "Well, with your mum... I ended up marrying her.  I really didn't get feelings for anyone else that I just flirted with or snogged or anything," I said to Ryan honestly.  Well, until Juliet.  But I was not going to say that aloud.  He did not want to hear about that.

"Until Juliet," I said it for him.  Did I really want to think of marriage?  Definitely not.  But then again, I liked the idea of something real with Kat.  And that freaked me out.  "Dad... I don't know what to do with this, though.  I mean... the idea of something real?  I don't think I can do that."

I was surprised that Ryan added that little bit.  I felt like it meant that he was growing in his entire viewpoint of my relationship.  I sighed.  "You know, you could just sort of see where this goes," I said to him simply.  "You don't need to label anything... just go with the flow and see how things happen.  It could take some pressure off of the two of you."