If I survive tonight, I wouldn't change a thing -- June 1998

<< Lucius kind of delirious, isn't he?  Just in his own world... lol >>

I looked at Narcissa.  "If it means life or death, which it will in the end, they may indeed sing a different tune than the one they are right now," I pointed out.  "Also, if you would like Juniper to stay the extra week, you may tell her when you see fit."  I really did not want to speak to either of them until the plan was set to get at least Draco if not Juniper as well to take the Dark Mark.

<<he is, I love it!!!....lol>>

"Of course they'll think differently if it's life or death. You know they'll do anything for each other and Draco's child." I sighed and shook my head. "No matter what you think though, they will never thank you." I didn't bother mentioning Junipers week, I would happily let her know.

I started shaking again and sat back down pulling my legs to my chest. I sighed and looked Draco in the eye, "You think I don't know they don't want me?" I asked slowly, "No one wants me, no one ever wanted me. The only reason you care about me is because I'm your sister and you feel sorry for me." I wasn't sure how true it was but we would never know anyway. I shook my head, "I made Father a promise that you would never take the Mark, no matter what I had to do to prevent it. I intended to keep that promise."

I couldn't believe what he was saying. It was a good thing I got kicked out? I shook my head again, "I don't want out." I said, "Not when it leaves you like this." As much as I had wanted to be free of Father, I could never really be free until Draco was as well. That was the basis for a Happily Ever After. Clearly Draco had forgotten that.

Her words stung me and I even took a physical step backwards away from her in disbelief.  "If blood meant anything, Juniper, Father and Mother would love you as much as I do," I said to her quietly, keeping emotions in check.  "It is not just because you're my sister that I care for you.  And I have never felt sorry for you -- you're strong, independent, kind, caring... you are so much better than any of the other Malfoys, myself included."  I had mixed feelings towards Juniper at the moment.  I was angry with her for thinking that I only cared because she was my sister, yet I wanted to make her feel better, and then there were about twenty other emotions that were going through my head at once.

"I'm just a little behind," I added, walking across the room to look out the window, not really wanting to look at her right now.  Since it was hard to figure out how I was feeling, I did not want to snap on her for no good reason.  "I'll get out... but I'll be late to our happily ever after..."  I trailed off to keep myself from saying something snide about our dream of escape just out of mixed feelings.

I was thrown off with his comment about not feeling sorry for me. I looked over at him but he was looking out the window. "You think I'm strong and independent?" I asked seriously. No one had ever said that about me. I knew I wasn't though. If I had been strong, this fight with Father would've happened a long time ago. If I had been independent, I would have my own place to go and not have had to relied on Draco so much. "If I'm better the you, you must be a close second."

I ignored his comment about our Happily Ever After in favour of looking at my 'mark'. I started rubbing it, not scratching and gave a hollowed laugh. "It's funny, we're arguing about who will take the Mark but we won't really have a choice will we? Father may even want both of us to take the Mark and we can both get a twisted version of what we want." I looked over and wondered how Draco would react to my comment.

"Despite what you think, it took strength and independence to go against Father's wishes - even if it was just at school.  You were with Potter for Merlin's sake," I said quietly, shaking my head.  It still drove me mental that she had been, but that just proved that Juniper was so different from all of us.  I still had not taken my eyes off of the fountain outside.  I leaned against the windowsill, my arms crossed in front of my chest, my one leg crossing over the other at my ankle.  I sighed when she spoke next.  

"No, we don't have a choice.  But in what way do you consider any of this even a twisted version of what we want?" I asked, finally looking over at her.

I smiled sadistically.  "Oh, I know they would do anything for each other and, now, for Draco's child," I said in silky tones.  "I'm banking on it..."  It would be the only way that they would do what should have happened a year ago.  And now Draco would be married as well, so I would not have to deal with that in any way in the future.  Everything was panning out nicely.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, forcing myself to remain emotionless. I opened them again and looked over at Lucius. "So that's your final decision?" I asked, "You'll force them both to become Death Eaters?" I wanted to warn the children so they could be prepared for what was going to happen. I didn't want them going into something like this blindsided.

A laugh escaped me when he brought up Harry. "Father was pretty angry, wasn't he?" Harry was and still is one of my closet friends, despite what Father and Draco had wanted.

I sighed at his final comment. I stood up and faced him, "We're willing to take the Mark to protect each other." I began to explain, "If we both end up having to take it, we'll be in this together. We can still protect each other." I sighed again, "If you won't let me take the Mark for you, I'll just get it myself." I told him, "We're going to be in this together. I won't let you go through this alone. Not after what happened." I closed my eyes and sighed once more. Visions of my own attack and the result of Draco's defiance filled my mind. My eyes flew opened, the images temporarily leaving as well.

Alright, she had a point.  When she mentioned what happened, I was not entirely sure what went through her mind, but what I saw before my eyes was enough to send chills down my back and make my stomach clench:  Juniper in the hospital wing bed, bloodied and bruised; Professor Dumbledore and that entire night; Aunt Bellatrix and Father torturing me; the Dark Lord... I shuddered slightly and shook my head, trying to clear the images and sounds that haunted me.  

"We are in this together," I agreed.  "No matter what either of us say or do... there's no stopping the inevitable.  And, I suppose, if you've gotta go through it, may as well be with the one person you can always trust, right?"  I looked over at her and gave her a smile.

When Draco shuddered, I knew his mind was playing images of all the horrible things like mine had. I hated that I had brought it up but he seemed a bit more willing to listen to me. I smiled, still looking at my brother. "Right," I agreed, "this way neither of us have to go through it alone." I would make sure Draco never had to do another task like he had again. I saw the effects it had and still have on him. There was no way I was letting him go through that again.

"Are we okay? I asked seriously. We, well mostly me, had said a lot of things with all the emotions that had been going through our minds, I wanted to make sure I hadn't said anything that I would regret.

I nodded at Narcissa.  "Since one will not take it without the other, yes.  And to have both children will look better for us anyways.  It'll be the best way to get back into the Dark Lord's... better graces," I explained.

I realized I had been brooding again, gazing out the window a dark cloud looming over my head it seemed, when she asked if we were okay.  I looked back over at her and smiled gently at her.  "Yeah, we're fine," I said to her.  Did some of what she said hurt?  Of course.  But I understood where she was coming from and that we were both so tense right now that she may not have meant what she said.  I, however, thought there was some truth behind everything either of us said tonight -- no matter if we meant to say it or not.  

"You should know by now that we'll always be okay, June," I assured her.  I sighed and moved away from the window.  "It's almost too quiet..." The house was hardly ever this quiet anymore since the Dark Lord used it as headquarters for the Death Eaters.  It was slightly eerie.  I wanted to go see what Father was up to, but knew that was not the wisest of ideas.

"Whatever you think dear." I replied. I sighed, I had to warn the children about what was going to happen. "I'm going to let Juniper know she has a week and then I'm laying down. All this has made me tired." I left the room before he could respond. I went back to the parlour where Draco and Juniper were still talking. "Juniper," I began, this time she turned to me, "Father agreed to let you stay for one more week." I told her with a smile. "I do have bad news, he's going to try to get you both to take the Mark." I sighed as they both nodded, probably already figuring out that it was a possibility. "I just wanted to let you know." I gave them both sad smiles before I left. I really was planning on laying down, I was quite tired and had done everything I could to warn and protect my children. There was nothing else I could do.

I was about to agree with Draco, it was quite, when Mother came in the room and told me I had an extra week. I was glad, Draco and I could still get through this together. When she confirmed that Father would try to get us to take the Mark, I nodded and took a shaky breath. Once she left, I turned to Draco with wide eyes. I ran up to him and took his hands in mine. "We have to make a pact." I informed. "No matter what, we will try to resist. If they threaten me, keep resisting. Only give in if they go for Pansy or the babies" I knew he would probably still give in if they went for me but I had to try. I knew if they even mentioned Draco's name I would give in but he had more to lose then I did. "You have to promise me you will." I knew that they may even start with Pansy and the babies, skipping over me, but I could be hopeful he would be able to resist for a bit at least. "We have to show them that we won't talk this sitting down."