31 December 1996 - Daddy Issues

Only a few students had chosen to stay at Alma Aleron for the winter, which wasn't ever really a choice for me. I stayed every year, since the school had turned into much more of a home than I had ever had previously. New Year's Eve, my birthday, was always a little more nostalgic than any other day of the year, for it was the day that I was reminded about the orphanage, my parentless life. I'd killed his mother during my own birth, leaving me with nothing but a little locket that had strange initials on it.

New Year's Eve was the night when I brought the locket out of its quarters and ruminated over it. The cool silver chain felt particularly heavy in my hands this night, and so did my heart. Who did this locket really belong to, and why was it the only thing my mother had of my father's?

R.A.B. Whoever it was had a lot of questions to answer. My mother had given him her own last name, so these initials could stand for anything. I was in the lunch room looking over the locket when someone sat down beside me, taking him off guard. I dropped the locket, which clunked to the floor.

"Oh, hi Madeline," I said, a smile stretching over my face. "Sorry, let me just grab that..."

I smiled, feeling bad that I startled him.  "Sorry, Iggy," I said, wanting to grab what he dropped on the floro for him, but I knew he was a private person and so I let him grab it.  "What is that?" I asked, thinking it was better to just ask him about it.  If he wanted to give me any information about it he would... if not, then I would not press the issue.  I had a present with me that I was hiding behind my back; I had not forgotten his birthday.  That was part of the reason why I stayed at school this year over winter break.

Chuckling, I said, "You know, that's a good question. It apparently belonged to my father, but I don't know a thing about him. It doesn't matter, anyways. He left before he even knew I existed."

I pocketed the locket before Madeline could make a big deal out of it.

"Why did you stay here for Christmas break?" I wondered aloud. "You like your parents, don't you?"

I laughed and took the wrapped package from behind my back.  "Well, I know how melancholy you can get on your birthday, so I figured I'd make it a happy occasion for you," I said, grinning at him.  My curiosity ate at me.  I wanted to see what he put in his pocket so badly.  "And maybe I could help you figure out what it is... can I at least see it?" I hoped he would agree to that.

For years, I'd been very private about my lack of a family. Madeline was one of my best friends, and I hated to keep it from her. "Sure, I guess," I said, pulling the locket out of my pocket slowly, feeling the heavy silver in my hands. "You know what, maybe you'll be able to see something I haven't seen."

I think that last part came out a little snidely, as though she'd be able to find something that I hadn't seen for the 16 years I'd had the locket. But honestly, it wasn't supposed to be cruel. To prove my point, I added with a smile, "A fresh set of eyes never hurts."

I took no offense to the way he spoke to me when it cam eto his family; I could not imagine the feeling of loss he had to have when it came to knowing ones past.  I took the locket from him gently and looked at it intently.  I saw initials, R.A.B., but that meant nothing to me.  It was the crest that was on the other side that seemed vaguely familiar.  "I feel like I may have seen this symbol before," I said to him, trying to rack my brain as to where I could have seen it.  "It means nothing to you?" I asked, thinking that it may narrow it down.  I mean, not insulting Iggy or anything, but just might help me narrow down where I could have seen it before.

I shook my head. "Not really," I admitted. "It kind of looks like a family crest, but I wouldn't have the slightest clue where to find it. Do you know it?"

The way she looked at it made it seem as though she recognized it from somewhere. If she was the missing link between me and my family, I'd be forever indebted to her.

I set the locket down and dug in my bag for my little notebook of doodles that I did before I created any of my pieces of art.  I flipped through a couple of pages and found what I was looking for.  "Look at this," I said, setting my drawing down and pointing out the fact that the drawing and that crest looked nearly identical.  "I know my drawing isn't the best because it's just me doodling... but aren't they pretty much the same?" I asked.  I was getting a bit excited.  This was the crest off of one of my dad's old Slytherin hangings that he had kept from when he was at Hogwarts.  I still had no clue who R.A.B. was, but at least we know it had something to do with Hogwarts.  Maybe.

"What is that?" I asked. She was right, they were nearly identical. My heart skipped a couple of beats as the anxiety of what this could mean passed through me. Had Madeline really been the missing link all this time?

"It's the crest for Slytherin.  It's a House at Hogwarts... my dad has some of his old school things... and this was from his House.  I don't know why it would be here in the States though... Hogwarts is a major school, but only in England," I said, biting my lip slightly as I thought.  R.A.B.... RAB... those letters kept running through my mind.  Why would those letters be with the Slytherin crest?  The fact that it was written as R.A.B. led me to believe that they may be initials.  "I just... those initials... I just don't know," I said, thinking hard.

That settled it. I would have to go to Hogwarts and ask around until I got some answers. Maybe their Headmaster would be able to help. There were still a few days before the spring semester began, so I'd have plenty of time to speak with him.

"Let's go, then," I said, feeling a surge of excitement. I pushed myself away from the table and rose to my feet. I noticed Madeline wasn't moving. She probably thought I was being ridiculous. "I'm going to Hogwarts. You coming?"

I just sort of stared at Iggy.  He was dead serious about going to England.  "Iggy... Hogwarts is in England.  You're seriously going to go?" I inquired.  Of course I would go to help and support my friend -- if Dad let me.  He had issues whenever anyone brought up England... I still did not know the whole story as to why Mum and Dad were in hiding.  "I could just see if my parents might know something... they both went to Hogwarts when they were our age.  Though, Dad gets all clammy and awkward when I bring up Hogwarts or England, so he might not be any help.  And Mum is just kind of evasive about her answers..."  I realized I had started to babble as I thought aloud.  I smiled and shook my head at myself.  "I'm with you on whatever you want to do."

I had to admit that I was surprised she wasn't trying harder to stop me. "Do you think the Headmaster is there over their winter break?" I asked. I probably should make an appointment with him, anyways. Maybe this was a bad idea, after all. But I had to find out what I could...

I could not remember what my parents said about break at Hogwarts -- except they typically went home.  "I have no idea," I said, wishing I could help a little bit more with that.  "I can owl my parents about break there... see if I can get information from them without really getting into much detail."  I knew that I did not want to involve my parents too much or at all, but we may need to get their help on some aspects.

I shrugged. "That doesn't really seem like a fast way to find out," I said. Sending owl post from America to England had to take longer than the few days I had to spare. Madelyn's revelation about this lockets origins at Hogwarts had sent a burst of curiosity through me, and I didn't want to wait.

Pushing my chair back, I motioned for her to come along. "Let's go. I want to see what we can learn sooner rather than later. What's the fastest way to get there, do you think?"