The Burrow -- What is this feeling? -- December 1996

I was hating the fact that it bothered me that Hermione was talking with other guys.  It's her right to do so.  But I had this nagging feeling that what I hated about it wasn't the fact that I was being protective of her like I was with Ginny... it was something else entirely.  But I couldn't possibly feel that way about Hermione.  She was one of my best friends.  There was a line that should not be crossed sometimes, and this was one of them.  I sighed and was pacing around my bedroom, wondering what on earth I was going to do about it.

I was getting tired of hearing my brother's footsteps above mine and George's room.  It was driving me bonkers.  I stomped up the stairs and opened his door.  "Ronald... if you don't stop pacing, I'm gonna have to hit you," I said, sighing at him.  Then I saw the look on his face.  Something was bothering my younger brother.  I walked into the room and crossed my arms.  "And if you don't spill on the reasoning behind it... I'm gonna have to hit you twice."  Yep, that's the way us brothers handled things.  Classy, right?

I rolled my eyes.  Of course my brother would act like that.  "Don't call me Ronald," I told him, though I did stop pacing.  "And it's none of your business.  I honestly don't know what's going on to bother me... so how on earth would I be able to tell you?"  I wasn't sure what was going on wiht me.  It was just a phase right?  It was just me being protective of my friend.  who was a girl.  But not my girlfriend.  Though... no.  She's just a friend.

My brother was such a pain.  "C'mon, little brother," I prodded, I wanted details.  I made him sit down on his bed with me.  "Just walk me through what is running through your head.  Maybe we can make sense of it together?"  I wanted to be there for him.  We all were just sort of... there.  All in our own little worlds... but still.  They needed to collide at some point or another.

I rolled my eyes at George.  He had called me little brother since forever.  Even though I was almost taller than he was already.  "Well... I get a little perturbed when I hear about someone talking with guys and stuff," I started to explain.  I didnt' want to say hermione... I didn't want George to get all mushy on me.

I groaned.  "Do I need to deal with Ginny again ?"  I asked, getting frustrated.  I don't like it when boys thought my sister was cute.  It was Ginny for crying out loud!  I stood up and started pacing.  Then I stopped and grinned a little bit at Ron.  "Guess we all have a habit of doing that don't we?" I teased.

I laughed.  "Yeah, I guess we're creatures of habit," I said, glad that George lightened the mood slightly.  "And no, it's not Ginny I'm talking about." I sighed and ran my hand through my hair.  I was dating Lavender -- which I was so needing to end it here shortly.  She was driving me bonkers.  I couldn't feel this way about Hermione.  "Well, I'm having these protective feelings over Hermione, George."  There.  I said it.  Now he was going to make fun of me.

That could go two different ways.  I figured I'd go with the simplest direction first.  "Well, Ron, that's kind of normal.  You are one of her best friends... so it's kind of expected that you'd get protective of her," I explained, sitting back down.  I realized that that wasn't th eway he meant it at all.  But I wasn't going to be the one to say it.

I gave my brother a look.  At least he was trying to spare me some embarrassment.  If only it were that easy.  "I wish it was due to being best friends," I muttered, looking down at my feet.

Oh merlin... so I was right.  "Ron... you're with Lavender," I told him, trying not to laugh out loud at that pair.  I didn't know what he saw in her.  "So that means Hermione is allowed to talk to other guys.  Especially since you're both too bull-headed to tell each other how you really feel."  Yes, I had seen the fact that they liked each other.  I think everyone sees it.  Well, everyone but each other.

I sighed.  "I know I am with Lavender," I said, rolling my eyes.  "I can't stand her..."  Then it hit me what he said.  "Wait, we are not bull-headed.  There's nothing to tell!  We're just friends."  Gee... George was starting to ge tpushy about this.  And I wasn't liking it.

"Then break it off with her, little brother," I told him simply.  It was easy enough.  I had done it plenty of times with girls.  It was just a superficial relationship anyways... those always ended.  No matter what.  I stood up and turned to face him.  "Oh don't give me that bull, Ron.  You know you like Hermione -- more than friends, I mean.  And it's obvious to me she feels the same way!  So why have you never told her?"  I crossed my arms.  I wanted to hear his reasoning.

I rolled my eyes again at him.  It wasn't that easy... I tried to break it off with Lavender... she just didn't get it.  "You think Hermioen likes me like that, too?" I asked.  Dammit.  I said 'too' indicating that George was right in the way that I felt about her.  As much as I hated to admit it, he was right, though.  I did have feelings for Hermione.  But I could never act on them... she was my friend.  We'd be crossing a line and what if something would happen and we broke up?  Then what?

I grinned.  I knew I could see it.  People thought I was crazy, but I wasn't.  I saw it.  "Of course I think she likes you like that... I can't believe you are so thick-skulled that you can't see it," I told him, shaking my head.  "But why haven't you said anything to her about the way you feel?  Is it because you didn't think she liked you back or what?"  I waited expectantly for him to answer.  I was going to play match maker if I had to.

He thought I'd open up to him with him constantly insulting me?  Really?  But that was how our relationship worked, I suppose.  I sighed and ran my hand through my hair.  "Well that's part of it," I told him honestly.  I didn't want to say the other part.  I wasn't good enough for Hermione.  I wouldn't be able to give her what she deserved... I knew I coulnd't.  But I still couldn't help but wish that despite everything, she would still want me.  "I'm also worried about the what ifs.  Like if we broke up, perhaps... I don't want to deal with all of that."  I wasn't lying there, etiher.