I can't stand the pain and i can't make it go away -- Late Summer 2008

I felt Dad's hold around me loosen as minutes went by it seemed.  I do not know what he meant... he was talkign funny stuff.  I was scared though and was crying again.  He did not say everything would be okay.  "Daddy... I'm scared," I said, holding onto him.

I had to keep telling myself to breathe.  I tried to pull Stan as close as I could.  "I'm here... don't be..." I said, just trying to form words.

"Daddy... don't leave me," I begged, sobbing into his chest.  I had seen the blood and now I was feeling it.  I could barely feel his chest move up and down with breath, though.

I wanted to say something, but I couold not make any words.  I was too weak... my son needed me and I could not do anythign more to help him.  I felt tears escape my eyes and then there was nothing.

I got home and from the outside I could tell that something was wrong.  I squeezed Dona's hand and lifted her up into my arms.  I walked in and it was eerily quiet.  I put my finger to my lips so Sedona would stay quiet.  I had my wand at the ready in case things were still happening and they were waiting for us, though I highly doubted that was the case.  I went to the living room and my heart stopped.  Or that was what it felt like anyways.

My boys were laying on the ground in a pile of blood.  I set Dona down and looked at her.  "Go to your room and stay there," I said not wanting her to see more than she had to.

I nodded to my mum and ran to my room.  I grabbed a quill and wrote to Nana and Papa.  I told them that we needed help.  I wished I could at least try to help my mum, but I was goign to listen and stay put.

I sent a patronus to Grimmauld place because I was going to need help.  I knelt down beside Dean and Constantine.  When I put a hand on my son's head, he jerked and pulled away as if frightened.  I saw his eyes were red and inflamed.  "Stan, honey, mummy's here," I said.  I realized that it did not seem as if he were able to see.

I felt a hand on my head and I freaked out and I had no idea who it was.  When I heard my mum's voice I wrapped my arms around her tightly.  "Mum... Dad protected me... I can't see anything," I cried.  I still held onto Dad's hand.  He has not said anything for a little bit.

I wanted to check on Dean so badly, but my son needed me.  I knew Dean would want me to make sure Stan was okay before anything else.  I pulled my boy to my chest.  "Honey... it's going to be okay," I said.  I reached over and put my hand on Dean's wrist to feel for a pulse.  I thought that perhaps there was something, but I was not sure.  I heard the door open and I hoped that it was Sirius and Ember.

When we got a letter and a patronus, we left to go to Dean's as fast as we could.  I walked in and saw a lot of blood.  We rushed to Dean and I looked at Addison and Constantine.  "Addie, get Stan and Dona to St. Mungo's.  We'll be right behind you," I said, attempting to stay calm for the sake of the kids.  I was really freaking out on the inside... my son looked as though he were dead.