I can't stand the pain and i can't make it go away -- Late Summer 2008

I told Addison to take our seven year old daughter out and I would stay home and help Stan with his reading and writing... or I would end up playing games or something with him.  So the ladies left and I looked at the five year old.  I smiled at him.  "We're going to try to do a little work, okay?" I told my son.

I sighed.  How was that even fair?  Mum and Dona got to go out and have fun while we had to work?  I groaned and hsook my head.  "I don't want to work," I pleaded with Dad.

I laughed at Stan's face.  "We'll just do some reading.  That's not exactly work, is it?" I asked him.  I had a feeling he was going to be like me when I was younger and definitely say that was work.

I nodded vigorously.  "It is," I explained.  I would much rather color and draw instead of read.  That was may more fun.  Or go outside and play catch or something.  Pretty much anything but read.

"What would you prefer to do withour time?" I asked.  I would love to hear this.  My son's favorite distractions always made me chuckle due to the fact that they changed constantly.  Just the other day he wanted to to combine Quidditch with tag.  There was no way that was goign to happen, but it was still entertaining.

I got up and grabbed my crayons and coloring book.  "I'd rather color and draw.  Then we can make stories for what we create," I explained, getting excited.  I could always win dad over to not do work.

I sighed and grabbed the smallest book we had for Constantine.  "Why don't you read me this and then we'll have all the fun after that we want?" I suggested.  I knew Addie wante dhim to do more, but I spoiled Stan.  I could not help it.

I shrugged, climbing onto the couch next to Dad.  I suppose it was the best he could do since it was what Mum wanted.  I do not know how long it took, but I finished reading the book to Dad.  He only had to help me with two words!  I definitely had to tell Mum that when she got back. I stood up to grab my art things while Dad went to make us a snack to eat while we colored.  I looked up when the room darkened.  It was the afternoon!  Why did it go dark outside?  I heard some creaks but then it was quiet.  Maybe Dad was trying to scare me to be funny.  The person I saw when I turned around was not Dad.  I opened my mouth and screamed, running towards the kitchen.

My eyes had flashed outside when it seemed like the sun went out.  I grabbed my wand and then I heard Stan scream.  I raced to the living roo and saw the wizar grab him.  I shot a curse that burnt his hands and Stan got away and was by my side.  I had not wanted to risk any other curse when he had hold of my son just in case he used Stan as a shield.  I took a quick head count and there were three of them.  I kept a hand on Constantine so I would know he was with me during all of this.

There was a moment of compete calm and silence as we all sized each other up.  Then all hell broke loose.  I was able to cast a shield around stan and hit one of the wizards with a curse before they blasted me through the wall of the living room.  I realized I was in Constantine's bedroom and they were still out there with Stan.  I clambered through the whole in the wall in time to keep the wizard away from my son.  I would have to be dead before they could hurt him.  I was starting to see red.  They were going to leave Stan alone.  I was able to get all the attention on me so I was dueling three wizards at once.  They were standing in the way of me getting closer to my son.  The one mainly between us, I took care of.  He fell limp to the ground in an instant.  The other two were still fighting me strong.

I saw what happened next like it was slow motion.  One had their wand aimed at me and the other turned their's towards my son.

I was so scared!  I wanted to stay close to my dad, but I could not.  I tried to stay still so dad did not have to worry about me getting hit.  I saw the evil wizard point his wand at me and I had no idea what to do.  "Daddy help," I said in a small voice.

I ran and umped as two curses flew into the air -- one aimed at me and one at Stan.  I shot a curse at on eof hte wizards but it collided with their curse in midair.  The blast shook the entire house.  The other hex hit me square in the chest, but I protected Stan... I thought.  The spells that collided sent sparks flying everywhere, shaking the walls and blasting us away from it.  I was blown backwards onto shards of wall from the previous curse and I had knocked Stan over in the process; we were both on the floor and Stan was crying.  I was bleeding like crazy and was already getting light headed.  I could not feel my legs.  The wizards vanished and I had to get help.  My patronus flew from my wand and I had no idea who it went to.  I laid there for a moment, barely able to move.  "Stan?  Stan, it's all right.  Can you come to me?" I asked, looking over my shoulder for him.

I saw Dad jump in front of me and all his blood.  Then there was a crash with sparks.  Now I saw nothing bt black.  My eyes hurt so much!  "Daddy... I can't see... it hurts!" I yelled, sobbing and just wanting his strong arm sto hold me.

Oh no... what happened to my son?  Blackness threatened to close in on me as I dragged myself over to Constantine.  I pulled him clos to me.  I was so weak... there was no way I could safely Apparate to St. Mungo's.  I did know a spell that might help his pain.  He at least stopped crying.  He held onto me like I was his only hope to surviving and I clung to him hoping that help would coe.  "Stan... daddy loves you," I said quietly.  My breaths were ragged and I had htat feeling that I was not going to make it.  I was so cold... and I fetl numb all over.  I had never felt like this before... not even when I was risking my life to help my sister escape the Death eaters.

I hung onto Dad tightly.  I heard sadness in his voice mixed with love.  "Daddy...?  What's wrong?" I asked, so confused why he was sad.  WE would get fixed up and everything would be fine.

I tasted blood and had tears in my eyes.  I wiped away some of Stan's tears.  "I just finally... understand what... Grandpa meant... protecting us kids," I said.  I had to close my eyes.  It took too much to keep them open.  I wanted to stay with Stan until help got there... but I was not sure I could.