I'm Coming Home -- Summer 2008

Lily had said that it might be best for Dean to recover a little quicker at our house rather than at St. Mungo's.  I had warned the kids to behave around their dad and that he was still hurting and stuff.  I knew that Sedona was so happy to have her daddy back home.  Stan was a little bit more of a mystery to me... it was hard to figure out what was going through my five year old's head.  We had finally gotten the house back in order for the most part and fixed up so Dean's wheelchair could fit through the smaller areas as well.  I pushed him through the door and I saw that the kids had come into the house quickly to put up the banner they made in the waiting room.  I grinned at them while they welcomed Dean back home.  I bent down and kissed his cheek.  "I think you'll be happier home, won't you?" I asked him.  He had been so distant and depressed looking... I was not sure what all I was able to do to help him.

I tried to smile at my wife.  I wanted to appear to be fine in front of the kids, too.  I squeezed Addison's hand on my shoulder.  "It will be nice to be back here," I said to her softly.  I turned my attention to my son and daughter.  "That looks great, kids!  Did you make it all on your own?" I asked them, wheeling over to them while they came towards me to give me hugs.  Stan was a bit hesitant, but I hope dthat was due to not being able to see and not because he thought anything else.

"Dona had to help me," I admitted, hating that.  I used to be able to color on my own.  I walked forward timidly until I felt Dad's arms pick me up to sit on his lap.  I could almost see Mum's disapproving look.  I grinned and wrapped my arms around my dad.  "I'm glad you're home," I whispered to him, kissing his cheek.

"Me too!" I said loudly, jumping in on the hug that Dad and Stan were sharing.  "And I'm totally helpful with Stan, Daddy.  I will make sure that he can do everything on his own... just like you!  He'll be big and strong just like you!"  I was so happy that I could barely stop talking.  I mean... I was so glad that Daddy was okay and back home with us!

So he can do everything on his own just like me... if only that were true.  To be big adn strong?  Well, look at me now.  Fragile and weak.  I blinked back tears that everyone says is completely normal for going through a life changing event such as this.  Well, thank you to all of them who just made my day.  I did not need a bloody therapist... though Addie would end up talking to me about it.  She thought that I did.  I pulled away from them.  "What would you two like to do on my first day home?" I asked, knowing that aunt Lily and Addison said that I needed to rest... but I spent enough time resting while at St. Mungo's.  And if I did not keep moving and doing things, I would drive myself mad with the thoughts that ran through my head when I was by myself.

I tried really hard not to make a noise.  Dean really did not need to be doing anything, but when I walked around and saw his face with the kids, I realized he needed this.  I smiled at them and suggested, "Why don't we grab some lunch before anything else?  And maybe we could all go outside and get some fresh air... perhaps a stroll in the park."  I knew it would be rough on Dean to be around a lot of people with the way he was, but being outside instead of cooped up might do him some good.  But I was not sure if he would want to be out and about with being in teh wheelchair quite yet.  "but it's all up to Daddy, okay kids?"  I added, wanting to make sure that they did not pressure Dean into anything.

I grinned at my daddy.  "Lunch sounds really good, Mum," I said, moving my gaze to my mummy.  She always knew when we were hungry without us having to say a word.  It was awesome!  "Or maybe Daddy could end up giving us rides!" I added, giggling as I followed Mum to the kitchen.  I wanted to help her make some lunch if she would let me.

I laughed a little bit.  "Dad... how are you feeling?" I asked him, staying on his lap since he did not shun me off of his lap.  I was worired about him.. I was not sure if we were able to go on the walk, but it might help him.  I just wanted Dad to know how much I loved him and appreciated him saving me... even if he got hurt really badly.

I put my hand on Sedona's shoulder as we walked into the kitchen.  She grabbed me some cheese and I grabbed hte bread.  I would make some grilled cheese.  "Honey, I know you're excited that Daddy's home... but just remember that he's been trhough a lot.  He might not be able to do rides or to handle everything.  We need to be patient with hhim, okay, sweetie?" I said to her quietly.  I did not want my daughter to overwhelm Dean.

I nodded as I watched my mummy make the sandwiches.  "I know... but I'm so happy he's home and okay!  I was worried about him," I confided, sadness starting to fill my voice as I thought about it.

"I'm feeling alright, buddy," I said rubbing his back as he sat on my lap.  "How are you feeling?  Do your eyes hurt or anything anymore?"  I knew at the beginning he had been in a little bit of pain from everything.  I just wanted to make sure that my family was taken care of.  Ther ewas little else thatI would be able to do to help my family anymore... to protect them...

I shrugged.  "I'm fine... every now and then they burn," I told DAddy honestly.  I did not tell Mum every time they felt funny or hurt.  I wanted to be strong and brave like Daddy.  He had to be hurting but he never showed it to us... he was always so strong.  I loved him for his strength.  I leaned my head against his shoulder.  "Daddy... I'm happy that you're here.  I thought I saw you die..."  I sniffled a little bit.

I smiled over at my daughter and rubbed her shoulders as I moved to grab plates.  "I know, sweetie, we all were worried about him.  But he'll be okay," I said to her.  I hoped that were true.  When we had told him the news about the nerve damage, I have never seen him so broken.  It would be a rough road ahead of us... I knew what Dean tended to lean towards when he felt like he was at rock bottom, though he had not turned there since before our wedding.  I just could nto help but think he might tak ethat plunge now because he was that bad.

I looked up at Mummy and saw that she still looked worried.  I hugged her the best I could.  "Mummy, Daddy is the strongest person I know... of course he'll be fine!  You should stop worrying now like me!"  I said happily.  I grabbed the bag of pretzels that I wanted to have with my sandwich and went to head out of the kitchen.

I squeezed my son tightly and kissed the top of his head.  "It will take a lot more than that to knock your dad down, kiddo," I told him, though I was not so sure about that anymore.  This was definitely a wake up call... but only for the fact that I would not be able to do a damn thing anymore.