A pebble in the water makes a ripple effect -- October 1977

I felt like such a horrible person.  I had a procedure done to get pregnant for my illness... then I sleep with Regulus!  I had no idea if we used protection.  If I got pregnant, I had no idea if it would be from the donor or Regulus.  I was totally frantic.  I needed to find Ember.  The sad thing was, was that Regulus did not even remember doing it.  I wanted to tell him but I was so scared.  I finally found her at the Gryffindor table.  I walked over to her despite the looks from a lot of her fellow housemates.  I bent down and whispered in her ear, "We need to talk.  Perferrably privately."  I knew she owuld get up to talk as soon as she saw my face.

I looked up at my friend and saw she really did need to talk.  I excused myself and went to the corridor so we could talk.  "Tobi, what's' wrong?  Did something happen with the procedure?" I asked her, getting really concerned.

I sighed and bit my lip trying to figure out how to explain what happened.  "Ember, I made a horrible mistake," I said to her freaking out.  What had I done?

I put my hands on Tobi's shoulders to try to get her to calm down.  I took her to a bench so we could sit down.  "Start from the beginning, okay," I told her.  I was so confused and worried about her.

I was glad Ember was being patient with me.  "Okay, okay," I said, taking a deep breath.  "I was so down and miserable about everything.  I was crying and all upset.  Reg came in and sat with me," I started to explain.  I felt horrible.  "He was drunk, too.  He was making me feel so much better... granted I didn't tell him my problems, either."  I shook my head, letting that sink in a little bit.

Well, that did not seem to be that bad.  I just knew that it got worse or else she would not be freaking out like this.  "What happened next?" I prodded.  I was really interested.  I just felt bad that it was giving her such drama.  It was nice her and Reg had stayed friends... i think.

I could not help but smile at Ember a little bit.  I pushed my hair away from my face.  "Em, we had sex," I said, trying not to be super dramatic about it.  I looked at my best friend.  "And I ended up having my treatment as well... But here's the problem:  I don't remebmer if we used protection... and he was drunk and I know he doens't remember the nigth at all."  Okay, no ti expected her to freak.

I sat back against the stone wall the bench was set against.  I looked at her.  "You have to tell him you slept together," I told her.  I kenw that it would be hard for her, but she needed to.  I put a hand on her knee.  "Did the clinic test you before the test?" I questioned.

I shook my head.  "No they didn't," I said, sighing.  I could not believe that I was this stupid.  I leaned against Ember and was grateful that she put a hand on my shoulder.  "I know he needs to know we had sex.  But how am I going to tell him about my situation?  We both know how mIchael reacted and there was no way he was going to be the father.  And we were in a relationship!" I could not believe that I got myself in this mess.  Tears were starting to come to my eyes because of everything.

I took a moment for my thoughts to gather.  I took hold of her heand and squeezed it reassuredly.  "Honey, you're going to be fine.  Just explain it to him.  You have to at least tell him you slept together... if not hte entire situation.  You may not have taken this time anyyways... perhaps don't say anything about the pregnancy until it happens," I suggested.  I hated lying, but it wasn't a lie yet.  She didn't know if she was pregnant or not.  Why worry until you know for sure?

I hugged Ember.  "Thank you," I said to her.  She had no idea how grateful I was that she was helping me.  Now I just had to find Reg and tell him what was going on.  I would decide on the time if I would tell him my issues or not.  I left Ember and went off to find him.  "Hey, Reg... can we talk please?  Privately," I said, once I found him with his posse.  They slowed down with him and did not want them to be listening.  I was hoping he would stop and talk to me.

I was not expecting Tobi to be hunting me down.  I waved all of my friends away so we could talk.  "Sure, what's up, Tobi?" I asked her.  I lead her to a little area that was more hidden to stay away from prying eyes and ears.

I was grateful that he was going to at least listen to me.  "Okay... Reg, we slept together," I said bluntly.  I did not want to beat around the bush about anything.  I just really hoped that this was all I would need to explain.  I did not know how I would even be able to tell him anything else.

I was rather surprised.  I knew that I had gotten drunk last night, but I figured I had passed out in the common room.  "Oh, Tobi... I'm sorry.  I was so drunk... I don't even remember," I admitted.  I felt like such a jerk.  What was wrong with me?  I was even with Aimee!  I ran a hand through my hair and sighed.  What was I going to do?  I had such a sick feeling in my stomach from what I just found out... and it was not Tobi's fault... I was a horrible person!  I cheated and I did not even remember doing it.

I shook my head.  "You were actually being sweet... that's why it happened.  I was in a bad, low place and you helped.  And then we both were inappropriate with each other.  I'm sorry," I said, hoping that Regulus would forgive me for taking advantage of him.