Forget all the regrets that are bound to follow -- October 1977 (DONE)

I was in tears in the common room.  After I heard about everything that was going on... Michael and I broke up; I was sick and needed drastic measures to be taken.  In fact I had just been to St. Mungo's to see if I am able to be ready for the procedure.  And I will be dealing with that soon.  I sat in the common room trying to get my emotinos under control before going up to the dorm and keeping my roommates up.  I heard the doorway open and I tried to hide the fact that I had been crying.

Walking into the common room, I heard someone by the fire.  It was after a rather rough night.  I had quite a few drinks... more than I should have.  After being initiated into the Death Eaters over the summer... it's not quite what I thought I was getting myself into.  It was just a little overwhelming what they were trying to get me ready to do.  I needed something to dull what I was thinking.  I really wanted to be by myself right now, but when I saw it was October, I had to walk over to her.  We were horrible around each other, but we were still friends... just if we wanted anything more than that, it was as if a bomb exploded leaving just horrible pieces of ourselves in the midst.  I saw tears on her cheeks and I sat down next to her putting my amr around her.  I pulled her close so she could rest her head on my chest.  Her company was actually making me feel a little better, too.

I was shocked that it was Reg and that he let me cry into his chest for quite a little while.  I was not sure how much time had passed, but I finally pulled away to look at him.  I saw that his eyes were bloodshot and he looked horrid.  "Reg, what happened?" I asked, glad to focus on him rather than me.  He smelled like alcohol and I knew that this was bad.  Regulus was not a big drinker... something was definitely on his mind and bothering him.

I hugged Togi and let the events of the past few months fill my mind.  I let the tears roll down my own cheeks.  I knew I could not say a word to her of what was wrong... but the Death Eatesr were changing me.  They were forcing me to do things that I never thought I would do.  I did not realize what they wanted of me... of anyone.  It was scary.  They told me these feelings would go away over time, but at what cost?  I was so scared... but then again, I was determined to show that I was not just a child anymore.  It was just an odd feeling.  I pulled away and kissed Tobi's head.  "I'm sorry," I muttered to her.  The alcohol was still running through me strong... I needed to stay in control though I was sure that I would succumb to whatever it would make me do.  It would be best if I just left her right now before I lost all control of myself.

I shook my head.  "You don't need to apologize," I said my voice even more evidence that I had been crying.  I sighed and asked "Do you want to talk about it?"  Though I was sure I knew what his answer would be.  I was not stupid, I knew how Regulus was.

I looked at Tobi and shook my head.  I really did not want to talk about it but I could not really talk about it either.  "Tobi, let's talk about you," I said, brushing hair away from her face.  She had such beautiful eyes, even with tears in them.  I knew I was really drunk right now... but I did not see why, at that moment, we broke up.  I really felt like we really clicked or something... I had to take a deep breath to try to think of my gorgeous girlfriend, Aimee.  She was the one I should be with right now...

Tears came to my eyes.  He was being so sweet... I just wished that his beliefs were different.  I hated that he took the Dark Mark.  Yes, I knew... he did not know I knew, but I did.  There are many people who talked about things around this place and some of them were not so discreet about secrets.  But he was still a friend.  I leaned into his shoulder.  "Reg... I'm really sick.  I have to do a procedure that will change my life forever.  My mother and step father won't pay for the surgery... so now I have to do this other thing because it'd be a life or death situation as well... so I have no choice."  The tears started to fall and I wiped them from my cheeks with a tissue.  I hated breaking down with Regulus.  I just could not tell him.

I felt really bad for October.  I could not belive that on ehad to go through all of that.  "At least you have Michael to support you," I said softly.

I shook my head.  I felt so terrible and unwanted.  And I felt worse for breaking down wiht Regulus.  Especially with how drunk he clearly was... I did not want to deal with someone who was drunk to b honest... but I just could not stop.  He got me going.

I lifted her chin to have her look at me. "I'm here.. I'm a friend to help," I spoke to her softly.  I was having a hard time keeping control of my drunk self.

He was being so sweet.  I could not help but lean forward and plant a watery kiss on his lips.  I pulled away.  "Oh Reg I'm sorry!" I said.  I only did it because I felt really and low.

I shook my head.  "Don't be," I said.  I was drunk and miserable; she was scared and loney.  It made for a terrible combination for rational decisions.  I kissed her again, more passionately than before.  I felt the excitement affec me easily.

I kissed him and climbed where I was straddling him.  We started moving our hips against each other.  We were in the common room in the middle of the night so we were not too oncerned about being interrupted.  With the way we both were, we did not bother dealing with being traditional.  I was wearing the uniform skirt still so Reg was able to just slip off my panties.  I undid hi pants and he was able to slide easily into me.  We moved together until we both finally finished.  It was surprisngly good for how we both were.  I moved off of him and he looked close to passing out.  I felt horrible already.  I feel like we would both regret this tomorrow -- if Reg even remembered.  I looked at him and gave him a kiss on the forehead.  "I'm just going to go," I said to him.

I felt horrible for her.  I nodded and the room was spinning.  I made myself presentable and ended up passing out by the fire in the common room.

When I woke up I had no idea why I was in the common room.  I just remembered grabbing drinks... so I was sure I got really drunk last night.  I could not remember what I did last night... I just hoped that things would become clear to me as the day passes.  I hoped I did not do anything stupid.

When I woke up, I felt miserable.  And I was totally freaking because I had no idea if we used protection.  When I saw Reg, I could tell that he had no idea what had happened last night.  Which was probaby for the best.  I just was not sure if I should tell him or not.