Final goodbye -- Summer 1999

I figured we hit it off and we really get along.  It was shortly after Lucy's attack by my father... who was now gone due to Remus Lupin.  I was glad that he won out against my father.  But he was still my dad.  And really, I felt the only person who woul dunderstand my mixed feelings about thsi was Jetty.  I told him to meet at his place.  I figured a different than usual location would be a nice change of pace.  I knocked on the door and waited.

I heard someone at the door and figured that it had to be Ayden.  I opened the door and let him in.  Stephanie told me vaguley what had happened and I felt bad for teh guy.  I knew what it was like to lose a father who was a horrible being.  "Hey... want anything to eat or drink?" I asked him before we got into anything.

Such a good little host Jetty was.  I smiled and said, "A good, stiff drink."  I was joking but saw Jetty go to the fridge.  I suppose he was well prepared.  I guess Steph probably warned him about why I was here.

I laughed and went to the refrigerator.  "I only have beer," I said, pulling out the six pack from the fridge.  When Ayden just smiled and nodded, I led the way to the balcony o fmy flat.  Now I looked at Ayden and passed him a beer.  "So what's up?" I asked, not entirely sure why he chose to talk to me over talking to Lucy or Stephanie.

I opened the beer and took a swig before even beginning.  "Well... did you hear about what happened with Lucy?" I asked him.  May as well start from the beginning.

"A little bit," I said.  I knew she was attacked by Fenrir Greyback... as for outcomes only that Lucy was okay, though injured.  I just did not know details, though I did not necessarily need them.

I took another drink.  "Lucy held her own," I said with a slight chuckle.  "She got away until my father ended up using the Crutiatus curse on her.  Then Professor Lupin killed him to save Lucy," I explained, taking a long drink.  I really thought it was necessary so I was not angry about it... but he was still my father.

I nodded, understanding exactly where he was going with this.  I felt the same way when my father died.  He had deserved to die and I did not want him to harm someone else either.  But he was still my father and there was still hope that he would change to be a better person and everything.

I sighed and ran my hand through my hair and drank a little more before saying anything else.  "I'm glad everyone is okay.  I don't know what I'd do without Lucy," I said, the thought haunting me with the what ifs.  "But am I crazy for feeling slightly upset that a horrible man was killed in self defense?" I asked Jetty.  I hated my father... so why was I upset?

I shook my head. "I don't think so," I answered.  "I felt the same way when I lost my father.  He had held captive the Potters for years... I even helped him a little bi t-- though I am glad I did that way I was able to help rescue them.  But despite ho horrid he was, I still felt bad when he died in a very similar situation."  I took another drink and finished my beer.

I nodded and finished my beverage.  I took the second one when Jetty offered it.  I sighed.  "I'm really glad that I'm not crazy...  Lucy tries to understand, but she just can't.  She has a loving family... I only had my mum.  But I guess I always thought that maybe if I cured his curse... I'd cure his mentality or something," I explained.  I really was glad that he was understanding.  It was just very conflicting feelings going on within me right now.

"I gave my father an ultimatem... and he chose to keep on being the way he was instead of being with me.  Basically stay evil or choose good.  I think it's obvious what he chose," I said, shaking my head and drinking some more.  "It was just saddening that he chose that lifestyle instead of his own family.  I think that's what was so bad about it... more disappointment than anything else."  I wasn't sure if that was how Ayden felt, but that was definitely what I've come to realize that was what I had been thinking with everything.

I pondered that for a moment.  "You know... I think that may be it," I agreed.  "I am probably just disappointed.  I wish he could have been different."  I looked down at the drink I was holding between my hands.  I looked over at Jetty after taking a swig.  "Thanks mate," I said.  He really didn't do much, but it really did help a lot.

I smiled at Ayden.  "Don't worry about it.  I'm just glad I can help someone with something... I always feel useless," I explained with a slight shrug.

I shook my head.  "You should never feel useless.  You'll always have a friend in me, Jetty," I assured him.  It sucked being alone.  I knew because until Hogwarts I was pretty much on my own all the time.  I was afraid to get friends because my dad loved to hurt kids.