Sometimes goodbye is a second chance -- Fall 1999

Uncle Chris was not going to be able to stop me from leaving the States and finding my big brother.  I was not going to let our uncle control me any more as I was now of age.  I heard his footsteps coming up closer to my bedroom door.  I waved my wand to hide the suitcase.  Id id nto want to deal with his remarks... I would slip away into the night now that I had saved enough money to get me over to Europe.

Chris knocked on his nephew's bedroom door.  "Austin... can I come in?" he requested, hoping to be able to speak to the boy about the fight they had when Austin had come home from school about running off to England to find Lincoln.

Steeling myself for another fight, I opened the door and looked at Uncle Chris.  "What?  I was going to go see Fiona... can we make this quick or talk later?" I said as politely as I could.

I could not help but smile slightly.  Oh yes, I was going to see Fiona.  I was going to say goodbye and then go to England.  "Sure Uncle Chris," I lied simply.  It was something my uncle had taught me to do.  He knew what happened to Lincoln and kept it all from me.  That was why I needed to find Linc-ster and make sure he was okay.

I was surprised that Uncle Chris let me go that easily.  I grabbed my suitcase and Apparated to the Lang's house.  I left my bag on the porch and knocked as I opened the door.  The Lang's loved me and welcomed me like a son.  "Fi?" I called out, walking to the kitchen where I heard some movement.  I saw Fiona dancing around in a pair of shorts and one of my t-shirts.  She was a muggle-born and I could see her MP3 player sticking out of her pocket slightly.

I smiled and tapped the counter to get her attention.  When she turned around, I watched as she grinned at me and removed the earbuds.  "Hey, Fi," I said, walking towards her.

I grinned when I saw Austin.  I gave him a hug and a kiss.  "Austin!  I didn't know you were planning on stopping by," I said.  "Or I'd have made you a sandwich."  I was in the process of making myself some lunch.

"I wasn't sure if I was going to come or not," I told her honestly.  It would have been easier to leave without saying goodbye... but I never got to say goodbye to Lincoln and I could not do that to Fiona.  Even though we were young and just out of school, I loved her so much.  This was going to be so difficult.

My smile started to falter when I saw that faraway look in his eyes.  I knew he was thinking about his brother; it was how he always looked when he got lost in his thoughts of Lincoln.  "Austin?  What are you thinking?" I asked.  I had not exactly liked his tone either.

Her voice brought me out of my thoughts.  Her concerned look mad eme take her hand and lead Fiona to the dining room chairs.  I sat across from her and ran a hand through my hair.  "I'm leaving," I said bluntly.  How else could I tell her without being up front about it?

Okay, that was definitely a bombshell.  I mean, I knew that he had been talking about it since he found everything out... but still.  I squeezed my boyfriend's hand.  "Leaving?  To Europe?" I asked, though I already new that answer.  Of course he was.  He had talked for awhile about finding Lincoln and being a family again.  I just wished it was not happening so quickly for extremely selfish reasons.

I hated seeing the tears that came to her eyes.  "I probably won't be back," I continued the best that I could.  I did not knwo waht awaited me in England.  I hoped for the best, but feared the worst.  "If he accepts me and the truth, I won't leave him again."

I took a deep breath, trying to stay composed.  I hoped that Austin and I could stay together and get married... but if h emoved to England?  I was not sure if I could ever follow him that far to be together.  "And if he doesn't?  Austin, you need to think of the flip side, too," I said stanidng up and pacing.  "He's thought you dead for thirteen years... waltzing back into his life... he may not believe you."  I did not want to sound negative and unsupportive, but Austin was being naive if he thought it would be a happy reunion.

It made me feel so loved to see and hear the concern.  I stood up and grabbed her shoulders.  "I know," I said, my voice shaking.  "I know.  I don't know what I'll do if he rejects me."  I could not admit to Fiona how scared I was.  But I was tired of the lies that Uncle Chris told me and how I was separated from Lincoln.  My brother had needed me and I was not there for him.  Would he ever forgive me for that?