I'm here to take the weight of the world off your shoulders -- October 1998

I was so tired of Dean not telling me what was on his mind.  I was sure I knew what was bothering him, whether he would admit it or not.  I knew that there was a lot of issues with him wanting to have wanted his dad at his wedding and he thought that his dad being in a coma was all his fault and stuff.  I walked over to him and put my arms on his shoulders and then as I bent down behind him, I let them trail onto his chest.  "Are you going to tell me what's wrong?" I asked him, my lips close to his ear.  I knew it would catch him off guard and that may make him talk.  I felt like he did not want to talk to me lately or something.

I was surprised when Addie spoke right into my ear. I just smiled and wished that I had the leverage to pull her over my shoulders... but it just was not the right angle. So I had to settle with looking at her and just flashing her a smile. "What makes you think something is wrong?" I questioned, watching her walk around and sit down next to me. She was so cute when she got concerned.

I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms.  "You act as if I don't know you, Dean.  Something has been bothering you.  I'm pretty sure I know what it is... but it would be so much easier if you just told me rather than letting me guess," I told him, really wishing he would save me from guessing.  If I was wrong, I did not want to bring something up that he did not even realize was there.  That would be no good for anyone.

I hated the fact she knew me so well. Really, I loved the fact she knew me so well... it made me feel really good. But then again... it probably meant that I was really easy to read. I sighed and laid down, letting my head fall into her lap. "It's really nothing, babe," I said, looking up at her. I lifted my feet up so they rested on the arm of the couch.

I laughed and shook my head, readjusting my legs so he could rest his head better.  I put a hand on his chest and my other one was idly playing with his hair.  "Honey, the fact that you laid down like this tells me that you have something on your mind you'd like to talk about," I said to him.  I wondered if he really was not going to tell me what was going on.  I was going to have to guess, wasn't I?

I closed my eyes and just laid there. "There are plenty of things on my mind that I could talk about... what is it that you want me to talk about?" I asked her, opening one eye and looking at her. I knew I was about driving her nuts. "You know... you should be a shrink instead of a chef... I like this..."

"Oh, so you'd be okay if all of my hypothetical patients would lay in my lap like this? Like potential teenaged boys?" I asked, laughing as Dean's eyes both popped open to glare playfully at me.  I tapped him on teh chest a little bit.  "C'mon, babe, you better open up to me or I'll use my best weapon to get you to talk."  Oh yes, I would withhold whatever  I needed to to get him to talk to me.  I knew just the thought of that would make him definitely talk to me.  Yes, I was already playing those dirty tricks.

She was so horrible. That was not even funny. "Addison... I know I started it, but we're done," I said, sitting up and looking at her. And then I took hold of her hand. "And please, we haven't been married that long to be having to play that card, have we?" I questioned, giving her a kiss on the cheek.

I was glad that I had gotten his attention.  I grinned and merely shrugged.  I gave him an expecting look and when he did not say anything I decided I was just going to have to prod.  "Dean, it was not your fault your dad ended up in St. Mungo's.  You know he would much prefer him being in that osition, than you," I said quietly, tracing shapes on his hand.

I sighed.  "I know.  But things could have been different if..." I trailed off, not really sure what we would have done to make it different.  We could have told them from the start and perhaps had a better plan to prevent this.  I could have had someone else with Jetty to help keep Peter away from the scene.  I shook my head and gazed out the window.  I hated thinking like this... I should no tworry about it; Dad was fine now.  So why bother thinking of how to change the past when it cannot be done in the first place?

"If what, Dean?  What's done is done.  Everything ended up working out.  I feel like that should be an issue of hte past.  Stop worrying about it," I told him, being affirmative.  There was no reason for him to continue stressing out about ti and blaming himself.  I know that it sucked... I was there.  I saw what it did to his family.  It was horrible... but everything was looking in the brighter direction again.

I smiled at Addison.  She worried about so much.  "Alright... no reason to be so demanding about it," I teased, giving her a kiss on the cheek.  She was giving me a look and I knew there was more.  But I was not sure what else she wanted to know really.  "What else is on your agenda?" I questioned.

Oh, he was really being a pain today.  "Okay," I said slowly.  "Then if you're going to give that up that easily... it is clear to me that you do not want to get to what's really bothering you.  Why have you not been over to see your dad as much as one would think?  I understand that you were in on helping him recover fast enough to walk your sister down the aisle.  But there's something else... it's just not adding up with the way you're acting now," I explained.  I knew this was a touchy subject for Dean, but he and his dad had gotten so much better before the accident... I would hate for something stupid -- like having issues about Sirius being at Lenni's wedding or something -- get in the way of that bond.

And there it was.  The real reason she wanted to talk.  And I really wanted to not get into it.  There was no point.  I sighed and shook my head.  "I just think that Lenni and Mum need more time with him.  I had secret time for a couple of months," I said lamely.  I knew Addison would see right through that.  It's just... with me blaming myself for what happened plus -- and as much as I tried to kepe this from happening -- there was slight jealousy that Dad was able to see his daughter get married.  He wasn't there for me.  It just brought back everything that I dealt with when I was younger.  He wasn't there for me, Uncle Remus was.  Dad and I just started to get a strong bond probably only a few years ago... and then all of this happened.  And I felt horrible because the time he was there fo rme, the coma happened.  It almost made me feel like maybe Dad and I should not be close.

He was being such a pain about this!  "Dean, you and I both know that isn't true," I said softly.  "You know that neither one of thtem would care if you wanted to come and visit your dad.  Dean, what is the real issue here?" I asked.  I really did not mean to sound demanding, but if he was not going to admit it then it would never get ressolved and Dean would never be able to move on from it.