Lost and Feeling Alone -- Late Spring TBD (DONE)

When he pulled away I was startled. "Dean, what's the matter?" I asked. I was hurt and confused. I didn't really understand what I was feeling. I was so confused about everything.

I looked back at her, which was a huge mistake. "Addie... nothing. Nothing is wrong... that's the problem," I said, struggling to explain. "Everything in my life has always felt wrong... but this -- this feels right." I ran a hand through my hair. "It's... it's..."

"It's a good feeling, though, isn't it?" I asked, biting my lip. I hoped it felt as good for him as it did me... or was I just kidding myself? What were we doing anyways? It was ridiculous what we were doing. I probably should have just left before we started talking in the first place.

I laughed a little bit, moving closer to her again. "Yeah, and that's what scares me," I said barely above a whisper.

I smiled at him. "you're allowed to have a good feeling, Dean. Even if you've never have before," I said, grabbing his hand to hold it. It was warm and rough... quite the opposite of how mine were feeling I'm sure. I looked into his eyes. "Dean... we can walk away now and pretend this never happened if you'd like. But I don't know if I could deny how I felt just a little bit ago." I wanted to give him teh option to run away if he wanted to. I just hoped he was tired of running away from his feelings.

I hesitated, thinking about the options. I probably could walk away from this moment. But it might haunt me forever.... and the memory -- or lack tehre of -- of my father haunts me. Did I really want something else to give me the same feeling? Over something that I was scared to take a chance on?

I couldn't say a word. I just leaned down and kissed her again. The breeze ruffled her hair and I could smell a flowery fragrance... it was nice. We stood there kissing each other for what seemed like hours. This time she pulled away and the way she looked at me was a way I had never seen anyone look at me before. It was like she understood exactly who I was -- flaws and everything -- and she was perfectly okay with it. "Addison, why are you looking at me like that?" I questioned... unsure if it was a good thing or a bad thing.

I chuckled a little bit. "I'm - I'm not sure," I replied. "It's just... I've never felt this instant spark before. It's different... but a really good different." I looked away from him and over teh grounds. Was this what I needed? Probably not... but what about what I wanted? Definitely.

I stared across the grounds.  "Addie... we should probably not mention this to anyone," I said quietly.  "At least not until we figure out what it is that this is anyways..."  I hoped that made sense.  It did in my head anyways.

I nodded, understanding completely. "Dean... I think it best if I were to leave you alone with your thoughts right now... maybe you should try talking with your father," i suggested continuing with my reasoning before he could interrupt, "it might give you some answers you're looking for." I rubbed his arm a little bit before I left. At the top of the stairs I turned to look at him and saw him watching me leave. I grinned at him and continued down the stairs.