Sometimes I just wanna hide cause it's you I miss -- Christmas Holiday 1971

My first Christmas back home after being at Hogwarts.  I had so much to tell my dad.  I mean, I have four best mates!  I befriended Peter first... then Sirius and James befriended me.  Since I was not going to leave my first mate behind, they practically adopted him, too.  But that was perfectly okay.  The four of us were perfect.  I knew that I had written to Dad quite a lot because he was home by himself... and it was my fault that he was, too.  If I had not run away, he would have Mum home. 

I got off the train at King's Cross Station and instantly saw Dad.  His robes had gotten shabbier from the past year, but with only his income... and my care when I was home... moving... everything was wearing on him.  but I had never been happier to see my dad.  I waved goodbye to my mates who had gone home to their families for the holiday and went over to him.  I saw James go to his parents and little sister along with Sirius going with him.  Peter went off with his mum.  His father had been killed in a car crash.  Peter's mum looked about as tired as my dad did.

I gave Dad a big hug, turning away from my mates' reunions and grinned at him. "I have a lot to tell you, Dad," I said to him happily.  I could not stop grinning.

I chuckled at Remus as I hugged him tightly.  I had missed my boy greatly.  I worked on some writing and traveled as much as I could to do some more research about certain creatures, even though I could not go far with the money.  I had to pay so much for care and everything else for my son, but I would have it no other way.  I took the bag Remus had with him for the holiday and I led the way from all the Muggle onlookers and towards the truck I owned.  With Hope having been a Muggle and us living in Muggle neighborhoods, we needed a car. It was a bit of a beater, but it worked for us.  I tossed his bag into the small backseat of the truck easily and shut his door once he was inside.

Once I got inside, I started it up and shifted into drive to make our way back to our little home.  I had enhanced the truck with magic of course, so the drive home would not take as long as it normally would have if it were still purely Muggle.  I looked over at him.  "So... those were your mates that I saw you with?"  I questioned.  "They look like they're a good group of lads."

I nodded and grinned at dad.  "Yes... those were James, Sirius, and Peter," I said to him easily.  "and Sirius is not like other purebloods and neither is James.  Peter is a bit like me, I guess."  I stopped and thought.  "Yeah, he's kind of an outcast... kind of why him and I started being mates straight away.  Then Sirius and James kind of adopted us, I guess."  I knew that I had written a lot of this to my dad, but I could not help but repeat it.  It was much better to hear in person than through owl.

I chuckled at Remus's description. "Adopted you, eh?" I clarified, shaking my head.  "I am so happy to hear about your mates, Remus.  I'm so proud of you for doing so well."  I wanted him to know that I meant more than just his friendships and academics.  He had a tough road ahead of him, but he was coping with everything as well as he did at home it seemed.

I grinned at my dad.  "Thanks," I said to him, unable to stop smiling.  "I met Peter right on the train and then we were Sorted into Gryffindor with James and Sirius... and yeah.  It just sorta happened.  I didn't even have to try."  I was trying to keep the worry out of my voice when it came to them.  I knew that this had an expiration date once they found out I was lying to them or if they just merely found out what I was.

I was so happy that Remus was on the right track and making mates.  It was something Hope and I had always wanted for him... but I was not going to bring up my ex-wife.  "I'm so happy," I said to my son, "but it seems as though you are hiding something behind that smile."  I looked over at him away from the road for a moment.  We already went quite some distance with the enhanced truck I had.  I had a feeling that he was having as much worry about losing them as he was as happy that he had them.

I sighed, knowing that Dad would see right through me.  "Dad... they're going to hate me," I said to him quietly.  "I mean, I do nothing but lie to them and I'm a monster."  I knew that Dad would go through the normal routine of saying that I was not a monster, but it was true.  "I know, I know... you think I'm going to be a great person and all.  And I am a pretty good person... but that can barely contain the beast within."

I stayed quiet for a moment once my son stopped speaking, trying to gather my thoughts and how to best ease his worries.  "Remus... if they truly are your mates, lying to them won't necessarily be a bad thing," I said to him.  "I understand your worries, Remus, I really do.  But they would be able to look past any of your insecurities to see the great person you really are."

I sighed and shook my head.  "Maybe it'll be best just to stop being mates with them right now... I'd rather end it on my terms rather than being laughed at and possibly forced to leave school," I said to my dad quietly.