Hold my breath as you're moving in; taste your lips and feel your skin; baby, don't run -- August 1980

I was out of Hogwarts, but things were very bad.  Everything was going to hell in the Wizarding world.  I was going to try to find a way to get into the Order like James.  They always kept me out of any of that business because I was too young -- they always pointed out what happened to Regulus when he got mixed up in the likes of everything.  I could not help but feel the knife in my heart whenever they brought that up.  James knew how I felt about Regulus.  And to have him and Sirius throw that in my face, it just... it was horrible.

I grabbed my bag and I was going to go straight to Dumbledore.  I opened the door from the house - my parents were in a different safe house for the Order - and stepped into the backyard.  There was a watch on the front of the house.  I was not sure if they knew I was back from school or if I had gone to a different safe house, but I needed some of my things.  I looked up from zipping my bag and I swore I was seeing a ghost.  

this was totally unfair!  I grabbed my wand and pointed it at the man.  "Stay away," I hissed quietly in case it was just an apparition.  I did nto want the wizard watching the front to hear me.

I was not enitrely sure what I had been expecting, but that was not it.  I heldup my hands so she would not curse me or anything.  "Ems... it's me," I said to her quietly.  I had seen the wizard watching the house.  "I'm back... I'm really here."

It had been not been that long of a time since I last saw Ember, only a long year.  But she looked so different.  It was the war.  it was what it did to people.  She matured and she had even more fire in her eyes than she ever had before.  I just hoped that she would be able tot ell it was really me and not some impostor.

I felt weak in my knees.  It was really him?  I still did not want to believe it.  "I need to get out of here," I said simply, still not entirely admitting to him that I believed him... or to myself.  I walked right past him.  Once I got to a certain point, I turned slightly.  "I'm going to where we normally met over summer holiday."  I was not going to tell him more than that.  If it was really him, he would be there.  If it was not him, I assumed that he would not know and would not show.

I Apparated and appeared in a bit of a rundown neighborhood on the outskirts of a town between where Regulus and I lived.  When we were younger, we had to be sneaky to get there.  I used to fly a broom to get there.  It was ridiculous.  I was surprised it was still standing.  I waved my wand to clear away any dust -- something we could never do before.  I sat down on a blanket that I laid down on the ground and wrapped my arms around my knees, resting my chin atop of them.  And I sat there waiting.  My eyes were closed with tears brimming in them.  If that was really Regulus... how did he survive?  How did he make it back?  That was why I did not bleieve it was him at all.

My lips went up in the corner when she Apparated away from me.  I gave her a minute and then I followed.  I saw her sitting on a blanket, looking almost like she was going to start crying.  I went over and sat next to her.  "Ems, it's really me," I said to her gently.  she opened her eyes and stared at me.  I brushed hair away from her face.  "I'm really here."

I looked up and stared at the man.  It really was Regulus Arcturus Black.  I had never thought I would see him again.  Abandoning all pretense, I scrambled and threw my arms around him, hugging him tightly.  "How did you...?" I questioned, not letting go.

"Kreacher," I said gently, holding her close.  I wished that I did not have to let her go, but I did.  I had to look into her eyes.  "Ems... I am so sorry.  You know I can't stay.  If they know I'm alive, they will kill me nonetheless.  I don't want you to get hurt."  But why did I come here?  It was to see her again; to see if she would run away with me.

I took a deep breath.  "Ems... I almost wish you'd choose me over your family.  But I don't want you to.  You need to stay with James and Lily -- she's pregnant.  You'll have a nephew soon.  I haven't gotten any closer to finding the means to destroy what I stole."  Or if it was the only Horcrux that Voldemort had made.

I took Regulus's hands in my own.  "Reg, everyone is starting to go into hiding -- no one would be surprised if I left," I said to him.  "Daddy wants me to move away anyways... try to get away from things.  I could help you with the quest of finding... those things."  I could not remember what he had called them, I just knew that he had died for a cause.  But here he was.  My Regulus.

Of course I would end up telling my family I was going into hiding and that would keep them from losing me; they would understand.  I was sure they would.

I could not believe what I was hearing.  She was going to go into hiding with me?  I was not going to let this get my hopes up.  "It's almost more dangerous to come with me on this quest of mine... because it's destroying parts of him," I said to her.  "And I have no idea if he can feel it or not... I don't know a lot of things about this, but I know enough."

I did not care about the dangers of it... I was in danger no matter where I would be, really.  I looked at Regulus.  "It matters not," I assured him.  "I will go with you.  I'll play it off as I'm going into hiding.  That way my family will know I'm still okay."

I stared at Ember.  "Ems... I can't believe you're agreeing to this," I said to her honestly.  My mind was spinning.  I could not let her come with me.  "Ember, I don't think I can let you do this.  You should stay with your family."

I stared at Regulus.  "I let you run off once and you died," I said to him.  "Well, at least everyone thought so.  I'm not letting you do that to me again."