Sometimes goodbye is a second chance -- Fall 1999

He did not need to tell me, but I could finally see that he had thought entirely about the other side.  It was just hard for him to bear it.  I took hold of his hands fro my shoulders and held onto them tightly, giving him a reassuring smile.  I wanted him to get happy and nervously excited like he was before.  "But think of the good if it goes the way you want," I said.  I did not wnat him to go, but I wanted him to be happy.  And I knew that being away from his brother had nearly destroyed him when he found out what happened to Lincoln over the years.  Which was why I was worried; if Lincoln did not accept Austin... what would my boyfriend do?

I was so grateful for Fiona.  She was more understanding than I deserve.  I lifted her hands to my lips.  "I won't do anything stupid," I said.  "Trust me on that.  I can't help Lincoln if I do.  Someone told me that... and I have to say, she was very right," I smiled at Fiona, knowing I would win her over.

At first I was reluctant, but then I ended up grinning back at him.  "Well, she sounds like a very smart person," I teased.  "When are you leaving?" Of course I would bring us back from our playfulness.

I let go of her and ran a hand through my hair.  "Right when I leave here," I told her.  I could not look at her to see the expression on her face, so I gazed out the window.  "Uncle Chris doesn't knwo I'm leaving... he just knows I came here."  Then I realized he may be furious that I left.  I gasped and turned to finally face Fiona.  "I may have just put you in danger..."

I tried to hide my reaction when he said he would be leaving right away.  He needed me to be strong for him.  Austin needed someone to make this easier for him.  I put a hand on my boyfriend's arm.  "Don't worry about me, Austin," I said.  "Your uncle isn't bad..."

"But it runs in his blood... and he did hit me during our fight," I said quietly.  "What if this makes him snap again and become everything my grandparents are?  He wasn't bad with me... but wiht you..."  I could not help but worry about that.

I shook my head.  "Austin, don't do that to yourself," I said, pulling him into a hug.  It was the best way to hide my own concerns.  I pulled away, pushing my fears down.  "You should probably go, though... get out of here while he's still clueless."  Not that he would go after him, but Austin had to be prepared for whatever his uncle may do.

I sighed, not wanting to go, but knowing that I should.  I pulled Fiona into a tight hug, giving her a kiss.  "I am sorry for leaving you," I said, not having the heart to actually break up and say those words out loud.

I looked up into his eyes, tears starting to build despite me fighting them back.  "I don't need you like your brother does," I assured him, giving him another kiss.  He needed to go or I would end up trying to make him stay.

I gave Fiona another kiss before leaving.  I could not stay anymore or I may end up abandoning Lincoln again.  "I love you, Fiona.  I will miss you so much," I whipsered to her.

"And I love you," I replied, wathcing him leave.  I was able to keep the tears at bay... until he shut the door.  I put my headphones back in, trying to drown out my feelings.  I was not sure how long I had ended up cleaning (to keep my mind busy) before a knock was sounding.  My parents were staying out, having a couple night they needed.

I sighed and looked at myself in a mirror.  I looked like I had been crying, but no way for me to fix it.  I opened the door to see Austin's uncle.  "Oh... Hello, Chris," I said, knowing him well enough to call him by his first name.  I tried to sound better than I looked.

I swallowed and cleared my throat.  "Oh, he just left," I lied quickly, trying to give Austin as much time of a head start from Christopher.  I really hoped that I would be able to help Austin with as little as I could... which this was pretty much it unless I wanted to get to England before Chris to give Austin a warning.  Which I may have to end up doing... depending how this goes.

I really did not want him to come in, but against my better judgement, I moved aside.  I took a deep breath and closed the door.  "Chris, I don't know what else to tell you... he didn't seem anything but normal," I said to him, trying to dissuade him from digging deeper into Austin's absence.