Never. We never lose our loved ones. They accompany us; they don't disappear from our lives. We are merely in different rooms -- December 2018

I brought some tea in to the rest of the group in the living room.  We all looked so numb.  I sighed.  I hoped that we would start to get everything going.  I knew it was hard to say goodbye, but there needed to be some words being sai... this sniffling silence was hurting so badly.

I looked up from my seat and saw Quinn come in.  She looked like she was going to say something.  I wondered if she would have the strength to do so.

I took a deep breath and looked around at everyone.  "I just... thank you all for being here with me -- with us.  We all need this... I know this is all a little different than being at a church for a service or something, but you know how my parents were... they'd prefer this," I said, trying to make myself sound more strong than what I was.  I looked down at the necklace I had around my neck that had my parents' wedding rings on it.  I put my shaking fingers around it to find the strength to continue.  "I know none of you would be anywhere else... but... it still means a lot to me."

I looked over at my niece and smiled sadly.  "You're right; none of us would be anywhere else right now," I assured her.  "We love you and we all loved them, too."

I had walked in from the kitchen with some coffee and cookies when Quinn spoke up.  I put my free arm around her and kissed her cheek.  "What Uncle Ron said," I said to her kindly.

I stood up and hugged my niece tightly.  "Quinn... you need not thank us," I said to her, kissing her forehead.

I smiled sadly, glad that Ayden had gotten up to comfort her.  "You know... at a time like this, Charlie would have found some lame joke to crack, just to get us all to smile," I said to the group, knowing that this was what we all needed.  Even if it hurt to talk about them.

I was sitting in the corner, listening to Quinn.  Tears had not really stopped flowing from my eyes since Aunt Desi and Uncle Charlie were murdered.  It was just so hard to see the entire family in so much pain... and to know that they would not be walking through that door with their kind hearts and warm smiles.  It just hurt so much.

I smiled as sadly as the rest of them did.  I held onto Parker's hand, trying to give him some strength.  "We all know that's true," I said, shaking my head.  "That was the great thing about Uncle Charlie."  Then I sighed.  "And Aunt Desi would just sit there shaking her head at the lameness..."

I looked over at Declan, glad that he was here to support all of us-- but especially me.  I squeezed his hand as he spoke, grateful to have him in my life.

I had taken Phoebe from my granddaughter while Graham had been out with Quinn.  She was squirmy and wanted her Renny or her daddy, but they were busy trying to help Quinn and everyone else.  "How about a cookie, Phoebe?" I said, trying to take comfort that life goes on.

I was so grateful for everyone there with me.  I sat down and just listened to everyone.  I was not sure if I trusted myself to speak again.

I sat down with a cup of tea next to Rosalynn.  I put my arm around her like a good brother and sighed.  "Remember how they would always be so involved in the reservation?  Uncle Charlie and Aunt Desi couldn't wait to get Sidney in there... or really any of us.  They loved their magical creatures... but always dragons," I said.

I laughed slightly.  "Yeah.. remember when Uncle Charlie tried to give us a baby dragon to care for that was super sick?  Much to the dismay of Aunt Desi and everyone else?" I said to Seth, remembering how we loved that sick little guy and Uncle Charlie thought it was the best idea in the world to give us responsibility.

I looked at the twins.  "Wait a second, he did what?!" I asked, my voice full of disbelief.  I could not believe it! Uncle Charlie would not have done that... but it sounded so much like him.