I will put it all on the line for you, Always ---2019

I couldn't believe that this happened. It was all her fault! ALL HER FAULT! I felt my eyes stinging, almost shaking. I need to see him. " I need to see....." I said quietly. Looking to my mum who was just frozen. Just didn't know what to do with herself. Uncle Dean seemed to hardly be here with us. " It's not your fault." I told him with tears in my eyes.

I pulled Alysha into a hug and kissed the top of her forehead.  She did not need to be comforting me right now.  I did not want them to see him -- I mean, he did look like he was at peace, but it was going to kill them.  I let go of my niece and waved my wand to remove the lid from it.  I felt a hand in mine and saw that it was my daughter trying to be there for me.  She had tears in her eyes; she must have come when she heard.  I kept my eye on Ally, but had to look down at Will again.

I wanted to be right there with Ally, but I knew she needed a little bit of space at the moment.  Besides, she had Mr. Dean with her.  I went over to her mum and put a hand on her shoulder, knowing that she needed something to help her more than anyone else, really.

Meredith Lupin wrote:I nodded, " Yeah." I said to him as I needed to get out. What have I done? I pulled my wand out, as I thought of the Haven.

I had been waiting at The Haven with the rest of the Lupins and Blacks and Josh while Dean and Will went off to try to get Meredith.  She had returned but was a mess when she showed up.  I was in the other room with Mere -- mainly because I could talk to her more privately and to keep Ally from doing something to her own sister.  We heard they were back and I took Mere's hand and walked to the opening between the rooms with her.  When Dean said that, I pulled Meredith into a hug.  Her dad was gone?

I stayed sitting on the couch when Dad came in -- I knew what had happened.  I Saw it clearly.  I Saw it through Dad's eyes, actually, and I felt his pain.  I knew what this was going to do to everyone.  Dad was already on edge with having lost Mum and then the other Lupins... and yet, here we were again dealing with loss.  Tommy and Ryan were in their bedroom that they shared and I knew why:  it was Tommy's dad who was the monster causing everything, even if not everyone knew that.  I stood up and easily walked to the back bedroom and opened the door, not bothering to knock, and sat on one of their beds.  "He's gone," I said to them quietly, though I was sure they already had a feeling that would happen as soon as Meredith showed up.  They did not need Sight to be logical.

I tried to smile for my uncle, the lid was now off and there was my dad, my hero. Laying at peace, I wanted to scream. I started to shake, I couldn't contain myself. Wiping my eyes with my other hand as tears began to fall. " Well I will get a start on the dishes....."I said quietly as I excused myself from the room. I had to get out of there. Walking into the kitchen I went to the sink as I turned the water on. I wasn't sure how to feel. I knew it was her fault that he was gone. I will keep busy. I don't want to lose it. I picked up the sponge as I ran it under the water. I had not realized that it was way to hot as I put my hands in.

I was in a room with Seth. I didn't know how this happened, " Why?.." I asked him as I wanted an answer. " I just .....getting a glass of water." I told him as I stood up.

I let her leave, but I was not entirely sure if that would be a good idea.  I stood up and went into the living room with the rest of them, partially to be supportive and partially so I was closer to Meredith in case something would happen.  I was rather concerned of how things would go down with her.

I let Ally go into the kitchen, even though I was not sure if letting her be would be the wisest of ideas.  I finally mustered up enough courage to look at Emelyn and to be there for her.  I squeezed Sedona's hand and let go, walking over to the new widow.  I looked at her and said, "I am so sorry, Emmy.  I tried so hard to get him home again."

The soap in the sink was creating bubbles as I picked up a plate and started to scrub it vigorously. My dad is gone....MY dad is gone. That seemed like such a foreign aspect for me. I couldn't contain it as my scrubbing seemingly created a mountain of bubbles. Tears were stinging at my eyes to get out. I couldn't believe it, he is gone and it's thanks to my ridiculous half sister. I felt my other side playing to come out. I couldn't let it, Dad wouldn't want me to. It took everything in me to not lose it. To want to make her feel pain for everything she caused. If it wasn't for her he would be here. I didn't care if she was in the Deatheaters. She was dead to me. I didn't care. I didn't feel like she deserved to be sad. She was the reason he was gone. I looked at the plate and realized I had cracked it in half. " Shit." I muttered trying to find the other half.