It's off my chest but never off my mind -- Fall/Winter 2004

Though it took quite a bit of time, Draco finally agreed that our kids could spend time with their grandfather.  They were always allowed to see their grandma.  Lucius was only allowed to see them under Draco's supervision for the longest time.  I got him to loosen up on that these days because it seemed like Lucius really was changing.  While Draco was at work, I went over to their manor.  Keegan walked with me, looking down and not wanting to be touched.  Ian was bouncing as he walked somehow.  "I bet your grandfather is in the parlor," I told the kids.

I grinned and went to the parlor without my sister.  I found Grandfather in there reading the Prophet.  "Grandfather!  We're here," I said excitedly, waiting to be acknowledged and given permission to give him a hug.

I walked in behind Dorian, Keegan instantly went to a statue made of glass -- she was fascinated by the plaque that was on the wooden base, nothing else.  The Healers said it was normal for autistic children to focus on only one part of a toy or object and not the entire thing.  "Afternoon, Lucius," I said kindly. After six years of marriage, I learned how it was best to speak to him.

I set the Prophet down and smiled warmly at Dorian.  I was a little more slack on my grandson as I was with my own children, though that was mainly because I had been instructed by Draco that I had to if I wanted to see him.  I opened my arms and gave him a hug.  I looked over at the disgrace.  "Step away, Keegan.  Now," I said sharply.

I grinned when I got a hug from Grandfather -- normally Dad had to be there.  I looked back at my sister.  I did not understand why she was so special to Dad -- he favored her it seemed.  I rolled my eyes as she did not listen to Grandfather.  I walked over to her and grabbed her hand and forced her to walk away from it with me.  "You're not allowed Keegan," I told her roughly.

Draco would have scolded Dorian for that, but I felt Keegan needed a firmer hand.  She started to fuss and I could not handle another tantrum and I knew Lucius would get angered.  "Ian, can the two of you go to the playroom?  Give her that truck with the big wheels.  It keeps her calm," I requested.

I sighed and nodded, taking Keegan to the playroom.  She did stop crying when she saw the wheels.  Dad told me to be patient, but it was hard sometimes.  I grabbed some of the other toys and started to play by myself.

I noticed the strain on my daughter-in-law's face.  I went and poured us each a little dash of scotch.  "Speak to me, Pansy," I said.  I wondered if I could work in her mind if she was this worn.

Chuckling slightly, I took the glass.  "A little early for this, isn't it, Lucius?" I asked.  It was early afternoon and I had the children.  This was not wise to have a cocktail.

I shook my head.  "A little drink will soothe your nerves," I replied.  "You look rather stressed."  Perhaps she would reveal something to me that I could use to the benefit of the Malfoy name.  It was getting more and more tarnished as the years progressed.

He was right; rather stressed was one way to put it.  I took a sip and let the scotch run down.  I sat down in one of the chairs in the parlor, glad to know the kids were fine.  I looked at Lucius and saw he was still expecting me to talk.  I sighed.  "It's just been harder than normal with Keegan," I said slowly.  "The older she gets... it definitely doesn't get easier.  With Ian, it does."

I nodded.  I knew Keegan's autism would cause problems.  I always thought something needed to be done.  Really, it could be anything as simple as staying in a private ward at St. Mungo's so no one knew she was alive... or take matters in my own hands to get rid of the problem.  "I am more than willing to watch them so you can get more time to yourself," I told her slyly.  An accident could easily happen.

I eyed Lucius suspiciously.  Why would he offer to watch the kids?  Draco always told me he had ulterior motives for everything he ever did.  But, personally, I thought that he might be changing.  "I don't think Draco would like that," I said.  "I would like to have one afternoon of not worrying about Keegan, though..."

"I understand," I responded.  "What about the future?  You know she will most likely either not develop magic or be dangerous because she wont' be able to control it.  And poor Dorian would get teased at school because of everything."  I could tell that my plan was working by the look on Pansy's face.

I ran a hand through my hair.  He had a point.  I did not want that.  "All I want to do is the best for both of them.  Keegan takes so much attention that I feel Ian gets ignored.  I don't know what to do," I admitted.