She's like fire and ice and rage; like the night and the storm in the heart of the sun -- 31 October 1981

Sirius had gotten back from seeing if the rumors were true.  When I found out what was going on, I was livid.  Why on earth would Dumbledore take Harry to live with those fowl Muggles?  I was his godmother and his aunt!  I was a witch!  I was the one who should have Harry - it was what James and Lily had wanted or else they would have made that fowl woman and her daft husband the godparents!  When Sirius told me, I gave him no warning of what I was going to do.  He was home with the kids -- though I was sure that he would end up following me -- and I left.  I had to speak to Dumbledore.  I ended up in his office and I saw hiim looking as old and weary as ever sitting behind his desk, but that did not stop me.  "What are you thinking?!" I shouted as soon as I opened the door.  I was not going to stand for this!  My nephew -- my godson -- gone to live with Petunia and Vernon?

I had been expecting something like this to happen when I gave Harry to the Dursleys.  How was I going to explain this to Ember without infuriating her more than she already was?  I motioned for her to sit down.  "Please, sit down and calm down," I said to her in my most calm and soothing voice I could muster in a situation like this.

How on earth did he expect me to sit down?  I started to pace instead.  "What did you expect me to do, Dumbledore?  He's my nephew -- my godson!  Why did you put him with them?  I'm the one who should have him!  He's a wizard and those people are the worst kinds of Muggles... and I am not normally one who says things like that!" I ranted, pushing my hair out of my face.

I wanted her to calm down, but how could I tell her this without making it worse?  I knew that it was a bad thing to do when it came to a Potter.  "Ember, please, let me explain," I said calmly.  Did she not think that it pained me to take Harry away from the loving and kind family that he would receive from his godparents?  If she only knew the magic that was going on, she would understand.

I wanted to throw something.  How could I just let him explain to me?  I opened my mouth to argue, but saw how sincere he looked.  And he looked so tired.  I closed my mouth and flung myself into the chair across from his desk.  "I will give you five minutes to convince me to stop yelling at you," I said to him, gritting my teeth at the thought of not continuing this.  I could not let my grief win me over quite yet; I needed this anger.  It was the only thing that was keeping me going.  I was losing my entire family it seemed... I could not lose Harry, too.

That was better than nothing, though I had to admit, five minutes would not nearly be enough time.  And I also knew that I would be interrupted, though I expected that, too.  I folded my hands in front of me on my desk to keep them from shaking.  I had a soft spot for the Potters, always had.  I wanted to protect them and I had failed to do so.  I looked at the young woman in front of me and saw how close she was to breaking.  Taking a deep breath, I started to explain to her the magic behind everything.  "Ember, I do realize that Harry is your and Sirius' godson, but there is ancient magic at play here all based on love.  The love of James and Lily for Harry... they died to protect him," I said.  "I needed to put him with the Dursleys for a reason -- and that reason was family... and love."

I felt like Professor Dumbledore slapped me in the face.  I blinked back tears as I attempted to keep the glare that I had while I stared at him.  "And you're saying that we aren't familiy?  That we don't love him?  That's bullshit!" I shouted, standing up abruptly.  "I am James' sister!  Of course I'm family!  And how dare you insinuate that... that I don't love him!"

I looked at Ember as she started to shout again.  "But Ember, you are missing the most important fact:  you are not his blood sister.  You were adopted, were you not?  And as much as you love him, that is the connection that Petunia Dursley has with Harry that you do not," I said quietly.  That shut her up and I could see how my words hurt her.  "I am sorry to say that, but I have to think of Harry's best interest with all of what is going on."

It was as if Dumbledore had hit me.  I fell back into the chair as I stared at him, speechless for a moment.  Fresh tears came to my eyes and I shook my head.  "He c-can't stay with them, Dumbledore," I said feebly, my voice shaking with my emotion.  "And don't you d-dare insinuate that his best interests are not what I-I'm thinking of, either."  I hated the way he was making me feel selfish when I was just thinking of my nephew.

I had stayed quiet long enough. I folded the daily prophet I had brought with me to give me something to do when Ember had her chat with Albus. Looking to the headmaster and my wife, " It's for protection sake and yet you send him to people who hated Lily? Albus what love is their that we wouldn't be able to give him. " I asked and yet wanted to know. " They could just end up treating him terribly....and we wouldn't know it. So, this happens and we don't get to see our family again?" I asked him.

I wondered when Sirius would pipe up from his corner and of course it would be when his wife, so full of anger, would calm down slightly.  I looked at the two of them and sighed.  "It is not just about their love for him, Sirius.  I am aware that Petunia and Vernon Dursley are... anti-wizard.  It is all about the love Lily had for him when she died.  And that protection she gave to Harry, runs through the veins of her sister.  I am not saying that he cannot come and visit, but it is up to Petunia and Vernon, not you," I explained slowly.  "I recommend communication from you -- Harry will need to know as much about his parents as any orphan deserves to know.  I have explained everything to the Dursleys to explain, when he is old enough, how his parents died and what he is."

I shook my head as Dumbledore spoke. I have the utmost respect for the man sitting in front of us. He has never made it more difficult to continue that respect when he's saying that because Lily and James died protecting Harry...the love that they gave up is flowing in Petunia's veins. " Do they have to feed and take him of him as he is there own child?" I asked him.

I stood back up and started pacing again, my anger returning as Dumbledore spoke.  Bless Sirius for keeping his temper under control because that was one thing that I could not do right now.  I had lost too much.  "You recommend communication?  Yet you give all control to Petunia and Dursley?" I snapped.  "Oh yes, I can see how this plan will work so well, Dumbledore.  You know as well as I do that they will do nothing -- nothing -- for Harry!  And yet you're just going to let him go to them?!" I took a deep breath to try to keep my voice from rising too much.

I had expected this from them.  "Ember, enough," I said quietly.  I did not raise my voice, I did not need to.  My eyes were getting a little bleary from the tears that were unshed for two of the greatest wizards I had the honor of meeting and to see their family hurting so badly, it broke my heart.  It reminded me of my own past and losses.  But I had to try to protect Harry because I did not think that Voldemort was truly gone.

I was surprised by dumbledore's tone.  I even stopped pacing as I looked at the Headmaster -- a man I once admired so much.  I saw the emotion on his face and it softened me slightly.  "I don't think I can lose Harry, too," I said quietly, looking down.