If I survive tonight, I wouldn't change a thing -- June 1998

I was getting a little worried about Draco, but I got up and listened and heard the three of them talking in the room next door.  Relieved, I laid back down and hoped that everything would work out.  My parents were not entirely pleased that I was moving in with Draco, what would they think now?  Of course they would only think that we jumped the gun to get married and not that we were forced into it.  I did not need them to think anything of it.  They were happy that I was with a Malfoy, though, just not the fact that things were moving so fast and, according to them, out of order.  I stared up at the grungy ceiling, wondering what they would think now.

<< alright, sounds good, Junes knows something's up but she'll leave it for now.....let me know if I should change anything >>

I noticed something in Draco's eyes when he said he had coffee. It made me think that there maybe more then just coffee in his cup but if there was, I couldn't really blame him, not tonight. I would watch him to make sure that he didn't lose control like I had with the potion but for now, I would leave him be. "That's okay Draco, I can go grab it. I know you probably want to get back to Pansy. Besides, you know how restless I can get when I'm like this. I need to go for a little walk." I tried to keep my voice light, I didn't need Draco to worry about me right now. I smiled "We're okay in here. I promise." Draco knew better then anyone that I paced when I was nervous, I needed to go and walk somewhere. Getting a drink would be the perfect excuse.

I looked at June, wondering why she thought I was just going to let her be laone.  "Well, you're not wandering around here by yourself," I informed her gently.  "I'll walk with you... hopefully Pansy drifted off to sleep anyways.  She looked exhuasted," I added.  I would check on her and then June and I would walk a little bit.  Besides, I may need a refill before I could stop having the urge to constantly check our surroundings and everything else.

I resisted the temptation to roll my eyes at the two of them.  They really were rather stubborn.  "There is always the option of me going with June and you going and staying with Pansy," I pointed out to the two of them.

"And there you two are being over protective again." I said a bit loudly, hoping to prevent Draco from saying anything else. I sighed, "I don't think any of us are sleeping tonight." I pointed out to Draco, my voice a normal volume now. "And besides, I'll be fine, I'm just getting a drink." I looked between the two as I sighed again, "I'll be okay. Nothing's going to happen to me, yet." Nothing would happen to me until I resisted the Mark, which I would try not to. Even then, it probably wouldn't be me they would go after anyway. I shook my head to clear the images that were coming to it and forced a smile to Draco, hoping he wouldn't be able to read my mind like he usual could. "Pansy and your babies need you." I said, hoping to distract him. "Lincoln and I will be okay." Did I want Lincoln to leave this room? Of course not, but I had to leave and I didn't think he would let me go by myself. Not after our warning and the how worried I was.

I looked between the two of them, finally sighing my defeat.  "Alright... just this one time, please, of leaving the room until morning, though, okay?" I said, hoping that would be a fair enough agreement between all of us.  "And once I'm back in my room, I'll stay there, too."  I knew that Juniper would have ended up saying that last part, so I figured I would just add it.

I nodded, making eye contact with Draco.  "That sounds reasonable," I agreed.  I was not sure if Juniper would willingly let me go with her downstairs, but I did not really relish the idea of her going alone, either.

I smiled and hugged Draco, careful not to have him spill the drinks he was carrying. "We'll be fine. They can't hurt any of us yet." I whispered. I just hoped I was right about that. I took a shaky breath and tried to hide my nervous from the two people who seemed it be able to read me better then I sometimes could myself. I pulled away and turned to Lincoln and forced a smile. "Are you going to get anything while we're out?" I tried to change the topic, to distract them. It was hard to know whether it would work on them or not. I didn't want Lincoln to come with me, he was safe in the room for now, but I knew the chances that I could convince him to stay back was slim to none.

I left and walked back into the room I was sharing with Pansy, hearing her breathing softly.  I was so glad that she had drifted off to sleep.  Hopefully she would be able to sleep through the night.  She needed the rest.  The twins were really taking it out of her.  We had hoped to keep this a secret for at least another month or so, but the twins decided to pop and pop they did.  I smiled, thinking how beautiful she looked.  I set her glass of water down on the nightstand next to her head and sat in the chair, drinking my nightcap.  I would be able to somewhat relax when I heard Juniper return to her room.

I shrugged. "Probably not," I said honestly.  I just knew that Draco would not want her by herself, nor did I.  "Let's go..." I pointed towards the door and expected June to lead the way.

<< After this, do we wanna skip to morning? >>

<< sounds good to me....let me know if you want me to edit this and skip to morning or maybe my next response or if you want to.....doesn't matter to me >>

I shrugged slightly, leading the way out the door and down the hall. "Let's at least get a water for the night, since we can't leave again until morning." I put my hand in my pocket where I had put my money from when I had written Lincoln earlier, hoping I had enough to cover it. After I ordered my coffee and a water, it just covered it. I took one last look around the lobby and sighed as I shook my head. "Everything's going to change after tomorrow." I said, more to myself. I turned to Lincoln, "I really appreciate you being here today and going away with Pansy. It means a lot to Draco and I." I wanted him to know what this meant to me. I know he wouldn't care about me after I got the Mark but I had to make sure he was okay, he Pansy and the babies.

<< Sounds good  >>

I finished my drink and moved over to the bed, making sure that Pansy was covered up and warm.  I leaned down and gave her a kiss on the cheek and walked over to the window and peered out into the black street below.  There was no movement, which was a good sign.  I felt tears stinging my eyes when my gaze went back to the woman I was about to marry laying in the bed, pregnant with my twins.  She had no idea what she was getting herself into when she decided to even just fool around with me.  How could I have been so stupid to have let her get pregnant?  Everything that was happening... it was all my fault.

I nodded at her.  "I'm glad to be able to help in some way," I said softly as we walked through the corridor back to the room.  I opened the door for her when we arrived at the door next to Draco and Pansy's room.  I knew that we would not really be able to rest.  It would be a long night.  I checked the time, at least it was decently late.

<< alright! just let me know if you want me to change anything. I know this is super long and fast but maybe Draco's 1000th could be saying 'I do'?>>

"You're helping more then you know." I assured him. He was protecting my family and staying safe himself, that meant more then he could ever know to me. I walked into the room and heard Lincoln close and lock the door behind us. I put the water on the bedside table that separated the two beds and sat up on my bed once I put the  pillows against the headboard. I lead back against it but I was still sitting up. I held up my coffee in a mock toast. "Here's to.....surviving this next week or so." I settled on as I sighed and took a sip, allowing the scalding liquid to burn my mouth as it went down. I forced myself not to wince at the bitter taste, it was caffeine and I needed it.

Despite the coffee, I was in and out of consciousness for the next little bit, not being able to stay asleep for more then fifteen minutes at a time. My usually nightmares of my attack and Draco killing Dumbledore just to protect me were replaced with nightmares of Draco and I taking the Mark, or, more accurately, us taking the Mark and Father and Aunt Bellatrix finding Lincoln and Pansy and hurting them anyways. I could usually wake myself up before either of them actually got hurt, usually a wand was pointed at one of them and a curse was about to be said when my eyes would fly open, my breathing heavy, my heart rate high. I would calm myself down, fall asleep again, and have another nightmare. This continued until one when I could not wake myself up. I was forced to watch Aunt Bellatrix use her horrible hybrid curse on Lincoln as Father held me back, preventing me from taking the curse for him. He was just about to lose consciousness when my eyes finally flew open and I pushed myself up onto my hands. "No! You can't hurt him! He's not..." I began to all but yell as I took in the room. I realized that we were still at the Leaky Cauldron. I forced myself to slow my breathing and heart rate as my eyes found Lincoln's again, just looking at me. I let myself lay back down, my breathing still ragged. "Sorry, bad dream." I explained as I shook my head to clear it. A sigh of relief escaped me as I looked at the clock on the bedside table, it was 7:00, I wouldn't have to worry about needing to fall asleep again, I wasn't going to, regardless of the time. I couldn't risk having that horrible dream again, or any other nightmares. "Thank goodness." I sat up, got out of the bed and made my way to the bathroom. "I just need to freshen up."

I walked in, went up the sink and turned on the tap, not daring to look in the mirror yet. After splashing water on my face and drying it with a towel, I looked up. I looked like the hell this week promised to bring, dark circles under my eyes, worry lines. My hair was a mess. I took a quick shower, wanting to look at least a bit decent for my brothers wedding day. After I was done, I used my wand to dry my hair and make it into prefect loose curls. I put it up in a half-up half-down ponytail, and put light makeup on with magic, something I never usually did. In the back of my mind, I wondered what Lincoln would think, but I quickly made that thought leave. It didn't matter now, it never really mattered to anyone but me. I sighed as I walked back out into the room, avoiding Lincoln's gaze and saw it was 7:30. "I know, I look like crap but it's the best I can do." I wished we could have dresses and tuxes but I didn't think that was an option in our time frame. I finally looked up at him with a forced half smile. "It's better then nothing, I guess."

I looked over at the clock and was grateful that it was time to start getting around.  I went over to Pansy who was sleeping in bed and gently shook her awake.  "Pansy... we've got to get around," I said to her softly, wishing that I had not made her jump like I did.  I went to the bathroom and jumped in the shower, knowing that I would have to try to rewake Pansy once I finished getting around.  I put my clothes back on and looked at myself in the mirror while I buttoned my shirt.  I shook my wet, blonde hair away from my eyes and sighed.  I had never wondered if I would get married myself or not with the way my family was, but I had told myself that I would not be in a loveless marriage like my parents... and what was I going to get myself into?  I did not love Pansy, though I knew she felt differently about me.  It was not fair to her.  I felt so much like my father... I walked out of the bathroom and saw that Pansy was digging through her bag for fresh clothes.  I took a deep breath and walked over to her.  "Get ready quickly... we don't have as much time as I would have liked," I said, having the horrible feeling that we were being watched.  I wanted to get another drink and check on the other two, but I was not going to leave Pansy while she was awake and getting ready.  There was too much commotion now.