If I survive tonight, I wouldn't change a thing -- June 1998

I was happy to hear that Draco was taking her in.  I was not entirely sure if she could handle being on her own -- not with the way things always seemed to turn out for her.  "That's wonderful," I said, happy that she was getting away from her home life.  "And, with whatever bad thing is happening, just focus on the good.  I helps make it easier to cope with."  I knew that from first hand experience.

I propped myself up on my elbow so I could look at Draco better.  "Don't say that," I said to him sternly.  "They will know your side of that story because you'll tell them.  You only did that to protect the ones you loved... that wasn't you.  It still eats away at you and I fear it always will.  But that means that you're not a bad guy, Draco.  And the twins will realize that."

I was relived when he didn't say anything against me living with Draco and I nodded, agreeing with him completely. "I have my good thing to focus on, my nieces or nephews." I turned to him, "That's what Draco and I are going to think about." That was the only way I would be able to willingly take the Mark. I would think about them, Pansy and Lincoln, safe. I took a shaky breath, "A lots going to change after this week." I warned him. "When we see each other again, I'm not going to be the same person I am right now." I didn't want to scare him, but I wasn't going to sugar coat anything either. We respected each other enough to be as honest as we could with each other.

I looked up at Pansy, grateful that she could help fight my demons.  I stood up and went to the door of the room.  "I'm going down and grabbing a nightcap and I'm going to double check on June and Lincoln... do you want me to bring you up anything?  I'm sure there's some food or something I can grab for you," I said, wanting to ignore the fact that Pansy seemed to think me a better man than I was.  Really, I just needed a drink.  I was stressing out far too much right now and that would help me get to sleep.  I hid the fact that I had some sort of alcohol mixed in with what I was drinking quite well for no one -- not even Juniper -- has said anything to me yet.  Or if they had noticed, they were too frightened of me to say anything.

I shook my head slightly.  "It doesn't matter what happens, June.  I'll always be here for you," I told her kindly.  I never wanted her to think she was alone in any of this... whatever 'this' was.

I watched draco move tot eh door, unsure if it was a good idea to let him to out there by himself, but I knew it would be futile to argue with him.  "No, thank you," I said when he asked if I needed anything.  "Just be quick, okay?  I don't really want to be alone..."  And for good reason.  With the way he was talking, I might not see him again.

I had laid back on the bed as he spoke and turned to him. "Thank you but you don't know what you're saying with that." I warned him. I wanted him to know what he was getting into but I couldn't tell him. What if he backed out from running away with Pansy if he found out? "You don't what you're trying to get yourself into. But I won't hold you to that once you find out." I had to protect him from all the Malfoy's, including me.

I nodded at Pansy and went out of our room.  I went downstairs and got my nightcap and some water for Pansy.  I would take both back up to the room because I really did nto want Pansy alone, either.  I got to our rooms and tapped on the room where JUniper and Lincoln were staying.  I wanted to make sure that they were okay before I stayed in for the night.  I took a big drink from my cup and was grateful that I had decided to get that.  "It's just me... wanted to check in before resting," I said quietly through the door.

"I think I can handle it," I assured her.  When there was a knock at the door, I quieted and waited.  I was relieved when it was just Draco.  I had been expecting someone worse with the way the two of them were acting.  I opened the door and let him in.  I knew he was worried about his sister, but I hoped that one day he would realize that I could protect her just as well as he could.

"I know you do but you don't know what it is. And I don't want you to." I admitted. I would protect Lincoln from finding out for as long as I could but I knew as soon as we gave him and Pansy the all clear to come back, he would want to know and have questions to ask. I heard a knock at the door and was on instant high alert. I pushed myself up onto my elbows and whipped my head towards the door with wide eyes. They couldn't have found us. When my brother said it was him, I sighed, let myself fall back onto the bed, closed my eyes and tried to get my heart back to its normal rhythm. How was I going mot survive this next week? I head the door open and turned onto my side towards it. "Hey Draco, how's Pansy holding up?" It was actually their kids being threatened if they didn't get married, I could only imagine how I would react if I were in her shoes.

I shrugged slightly.  "She's scared... and yet trying to reassure me of my insecurities," I said, taking another drink.  I looked between teh two of them.  "You two are doing alright in here?  I just wanted to make sure..."  I knew I would not sleep, therefore I trailed off.  I hoped I could get Pansy to rest, though, she needed it.

I nodded and shrugged.  "Yeah... I think we're okay," I said, looking over at Juniper.  it was clear that there was stress and anxiety, but there was nothing we could do about that until after the morning.

I gave a small laugh, I could understand that. "Well, I'm glad someone trying to reassure you since I'm not in there but, you're here now." I had stood and walked over to him as I spoke and put my hands on his shoulders since his hands were full. "We'll get through this. We'll do what Father asks, and they'll be safe." It was the internal monologue that was going through my mind, I was just trying to believe it. "This guy's been doing the some thing. I've been trying to tell him he has no idea what he's getting himself into." I indicated Lincoln as I tried to joke to lighten the mood. I wanted to show him that I was getting better. "We're okay. You don't need to worry about me right now." I took a look at the drinks in his hands. "Oh, what are you drinking? I think I may need to get some caffeine, it's not like I'm going to be sleeping tonight anyway." I knew both Draco and Lincoln would try to get me to rest, but I also knew it would be pointless.

<< IDK if I ever mentioned this, but after killing Dumbledore, that's when Draco's drinking starts - which he never tells anyone about.  I don't care if June ends up finding out or whatever, but he thinks he hides it so well sometimes lol.  But when the twins are born is when he sobers up the first time.  Makes it a little bit "easier" to fall off the wagon when things in the future happen.  I just wanted to let you know because I can't remember if I had told you or not and knew I would forget to do it in a PM lol >>

I glanced down at the drinks in my hand.  "The water is Pansy's and I'm having coffee of some sort, I think," I replied as lightly as I could.  I had just told Tom what I wanted and I thought he put it in coffee, but I had not really been paying that much attention.  I looked back at Lincoln and gave him a slight nod as a thank you for keeping my sister safe in here.  My gaze returned to my sister.  "Let me drop this off to Pansy and I can get you something," I offered.  I knew arguing with Juniper to rest would be pointless.  I was going to end up being up all night, that I was sure of.

I noticed something odd in Draco's eyes, but dismissed it.  He was just as stressed - if not more so - as Juniper about all of this.  I wanted to see her get some rest, but I was sure it would be nearly impossible.  I was surprised, though, that Draco had left Pansy alone for this long with how worried they were about everything.  Perhaps he thought that we were decently safe here for the time being.