If I survive tonight, I wouldn't change a thing -- June 1998

I had wanted to push Draco out of the way when Father went to him but everything happened so fast. I listened to both sides. "We aren't children Father." I wasn't sure if he would even listen to me but I had to say something. I forced myself not to cringe when Draco talked about mother but I knew that was his way of protecting her. "I'll come with you to the ministry Draco." I wanted to be there for my brother.

I flashed a dark glare at my son.  "I do not want to hear you speak ill of your mother again, Draco.  Is that understood?" I said, my words as icy as the look I was giving Draco.

I had not expected Father to defend Mother.  At least that was a good thing, though.  It meant that defending and protecting her did not fall onto my shoulders like everything else seemed to be doing.  I looked at Juniper and said, " I expected nothing less."  I had a half smile playing at my lips.  I turned back to Father.  "Is there anything else you wish to demand from us before we leave?" My gaze went to the desk behind him and I recognized the writing -- he was contacting Aunt Bellatrix.  My heart seemed to skip a beat when I saw that.  I knew what was coming, but it did not mean it made it any easier.

I followed Draco's gaze and recognized Aunt Bellatrix's writing. My eyes widened as I absent-mindedly scratched my Mark, the memories flooding me again. I shook my head but failed to clear it, and took a few shaky breath. I knew then that she would somehow be involved with us getting our Mark. I took Draco's hand as my breathing became short and rapid. I couldn't go through that again and neither could Draco. I forced myself to calm down, Father was here and Draco and I would take the Mark with no resistance. There would be no need to harm us, unless they just wanted to for fun. I forced my body to take shaky, deep breaths, not wanting to worry Draco. I took my hand back and started scratching my Mark again, my eyes still on the letter.

I smiled evilly at the children when I saw their gaze on the letter from Bella.  I enjoyed the reaction it gave the two of them -- so I knew they at least had an inkling of what would be coming.  "Oh, no," I assured them, "that will be all for tonight.  Now both of you get out of my sight... Draco, I expect documentation of the marriage by the end of the week."  I would still give him that time frame to do what was right.

I wanted to hit him.  For tonight?  I could not help but wonder when exactly he and Aunt Bellatrix would end up coming to force the mark upon us and take us to the Dark Lord.  I looked at Juniper.  "Come along," I said to her, leading the way out of the room.  What on earth was I going to do?  I was sure Pansy would do whatever necessary to make sure that hte twins were protected... but would she even want to get involved with the family now that Father would be showing his true colors?  Not that they were all that different from what he showed to teh public anyways.

I took a shaky breath as I tore my eyes away from the letter and followed him out of the room. Once we were at a safe distance, I took his arm to stop him, "She's going to be there, whenever this is going to happen." I looked past him, the memories of my attack coming back once again and those of Draco's resistance and Aunt Bellatrix's reaction to it. "She might not even care if we resist or not, if we say one thing wrong, she'll hurt us." At least I was pretty sure Pansy and the babies would be okay, as long as we didn't resist. I sighed and looked back at Draco. "This is going to be worse then we thought isn't it?" I wouldn't let them hurt Draco again, they could do whatever they wanted with me but he had a family now.

I had been so focused on standing up to Father that I did not really let the shock of what the letter had meant.  When Juniper pointed it out, I felt weak.  I instantly thought of what had happened to both of us due to Aunt Bellatrix's hand.  I felt like I was shaky.  I was not going to let her hurt Juniper.  I was not sure if June could make it through everything I had gone through.  And I did not mean that in a negative way, but I had barely pulled through myself.  "It'll be okay," I said, not sure if I was convincing Juniper or myself of that.  "If we do as Father says about it... he may not let her touch us.  She's probably just going to be there for reinforcement if needed."  That seemed logical, right?  But when did Aunt Bellatrix do anything logical?

We were both shaky, I couldn't stop trembling. I put my hand on the wall to steady myself. "If we do what he says, they can't hurt Pansy or the babies right?" There would be no reason for them to, as long as we didn't resist. It was times like this I was glad my parents didn't know about Linc. "At least they'll be safe, Pansy, the babies....and Linc."

There were reasons I didn't tell my parents about Linc or bring him around, the main one was to protect him from my family. He had enough things to deal with in his family he didn't need to add mine to the mix. He did seem to be doing a bit better since he moved out after he graduated though, I couldn't wait to tell him that I would be leaving soon too. Secondary was that I could only imagine what the dinner conversation would be if he were here and I had a feeling that it wouldn't be about how great I was. I didn't want Linc doing anything stupid thinking he has to protect me, I was used to my family by now. I shook my head to clear it, Linc was safe. Pansy, the babies and Draco were my concern right now. I knew neither of us could survive going through Aunt Bellatrix again, we couldn't give her a reason to hurt either of us. "Just reinforcement." I repeated with a nod. That made sense, but since when's did Aunt Belletrix do anything that made sense?

How could I have forgotten that Juniper would be worried not only for me and my new family, but also for Matthews?  They were close, as much as I disapproved of him.  He did help with her addiction and we did have an odd understanding about each other.  "I may have an idea," I said, thinking.  "Not that we could really tell either one of them what was really going on... but if they stayed together -- far enough away from here -- for the next week or so... they could help protect each other from anything and that way none of the Death Eaters could keep tabs on their whereabouts."  I was not sure if I trusted Matthews to have my children's lives in his hands, but it was better than the alternative of leaving Pansy alone.

Merlin, I hoped I was right about that.  Aunt Bellatrix was a bitch.  There was no other way to put it -- well, unless I called her a psychotic bitch.  I hoped that father did not get in touch with Aunt Bellatrix to find Pansy - and Matthews - to hold them hostage until we took the Mark.  "I need to somehow convince Pansy to marry me, too, during all of this... Perhaps from that we can have her and Matthews disappear until this is finished."

I nodded, I couldn't tell Linc what was happening at all. We had just started talking about the possibility of dating and this happened. I sighed, "That could work." I said slowly. If they were together, neither could get hurt. "Linc would do anything to protect whoever needs protecting." I told Draco. I had no doubt about it but where could they stay? "They could stay at your new place right? I mean, it's Pansy's too but no one else knows about it, right?"

I thought through Draco's plan, it really could work. "We could put up wards, blood magic so only the four of us could in." I thought about it for a moment and realized a key part of this, "or just the two of them." I turned to Draco, "We won't be able to see them at all," I wasn't sure if Draco had realized this or not, "It'd be too risky." That more then anything is what tore me apart, we wouldn't be sure until after this week from hell if they really were safe. I would not let Pansy, the babies or Linc pay for our Fathers mistakes, the ultimate price just because we cared about them. Especially when I knew Linc wouldn't care about me anymore after I got the Mark. Aunt Bellatrix would never find them if I had any say. "I don't think you'll have a hard time convincing Pansy to marry you." I told him. "Maybe Linc could come with us to the Ministry for extra support." As long as I didn't have my Mark before then, I was sure I could get him to come with us. "They'll both disappear, it'll be for the best."

I shook my head at her.  "Our new place is too close... someone could find it," I said, meaning Aunt Bellatrix.  I knew what this was going to do to them and to us.  They would be so confused, but hopefully they would listen.  And what would either one of them think about any of this that was happening?  I looked at my sister.  "June... I have money from Father's vault.  They will take it and go so much farther away than the new flat," I told her quietly.  "We can't even know where... because, like you said, it'd be too risky if we saw them.  And if anyone even thought we knew where they were, they would try to get it out of us.  And then, because I know neither one of us would talk, my unborn children would never meet me."  I took a shaky breath and started to pace.

My gaze returned to June.  "What makes you think that Pansy will just up and marry me?" I asked, finding that a little odd.  "But I do think that Matthews - Lincoln - came to the Ministry, then they could leave from there.  Pansy doesn't have to be around for me to show proof to Father that I upheld the deal."  I ran a hand through my hair.  "June... we should tell them both to meet us somewhere tonight and do this in the morning.  The sooner the better for them to be safe."

I gave a humourless laugh. "Maybe they can go to Australia." I sighed and turned serious again, nodding. Diagon Alley was far too close, Australia didn't feel far enough away either. Nothing would be far enough to hind them from Aunt Bellatrix but we would have to try. "We have all the Malfoy money at our disposal, they can go anywhere they want. And we can never know." Draco was right, they would try to get their location out of us of they even had an inkling that we knew. I turned to Draco, my face set. "I will make sure that you children will meet their Father so they know first hand how great he is, no matter what." I would do anything to make sure that that Draco's children grew up with their father.

"Pansy cares about you and I'm sure she will do anything to protect the twins as well. She seems like she would." I shrugged, leaving it at that. I sighed again, and nodded. "Let's get them to meet at the Leaky Cauldron, we can all stay there tonight and go to the Ministry first thing in the morning, they can leave right after. You're right, Pansy doesn't have to be here to prove anything to Father. She shouldn't be here at all, not right now." I nodded, hoping my plan was good. "The sooner they get away, the better." I agreed.

I could not believe this.  I ran a hand through my hair.  "Alright, then," I said, feeling a tad bit more in control of the situation at hand.  This could be done.  Everyone would be safe.  Right?  That was what I had to keep telling myself.  I looked at Juniper.  "I'll go write Pansy, you get a hold of Lincoln, and we'll leave together to wait for them at the Leaky Cauldron.  Then we'll go from there with everything we have to do..."  I was touched that Juniper said that she would make sure my kids knew how great I was - she always had more faith in me than I did in myself.  

I hoped she was right that Pansy would do this willingly and easily.  Hell, she may have even expected something like this to be done by either one of our parents.  I sighed and knew that we were on borrowed time until this was all over with.  "Meet back here in ten?" I suggested as this was one of the handful of rooms that had a fireplace in it.  We could Floo to the Leaky Cauldron if we wanted to or Apparate.  It really did not matter which to me at this point.

I nodded, we needed to get Pansy and Linc to safety as soon as we could. As long as we didn't know where they were, they would be safe. I hoped. "We can't wait for response owls." I agreed, "Just tell them to meet us there." I sighed, a lot of things had to go right over the next day in order to make sure everyone was safe but I just had to believe it would all work out in the end. It was the only way I would be able to get through this week. "We can use Eve to deliver both letters since she won't have to wait for replies." I spoke of the owl I had that Mother and Father still did not know about, despite me having her for two years now. It allowed me to send letters to my friends without them knowing. "Ten minutes." I agreed. "We'll send the letters and then get to the Leaky Cauldron as soon as we can." Not only was it that the sooner we got them to safety the better, but the sooner we were out of here, the better as well.

I left the room and went to grab parchment, ink and quill and sat to write my letter. My hands trembled as I began to write and I tried my best to steady them. The last thing I needed was for Linc to not be able to read my letter and not meet us tonight.

My dearest Lincoln,
I know I alway ask too much of you and I fear this letter is no different. As usual, I can't tell you much but I promise to explain what I can when we meet in person. Please meet Draco and I at the Leaky Cauldron tonight and bring everything you will need to be away for a weeks time. Again, I am so sorry I can't tell you more but please know that we are doing what is best for everyone involved in this situation.
I really hope to see you tonight,
Yours truly,
Juniper

I read over my letter and nodded. It was as good as I could make it in my time frame. I made my way back to our meeting spot and called my owl so she could leave as soon as Draco finished his letter. I took a shaky breath, hoping I wasn't asking Linc too much this time. I had to make sure he would be okay, even thought I knew wouldn't be with the decision I would be forced to make.