There's nothing else to lose. --TBD

It had been a while since they pronounced Remus dead. Although, they didn't even have a body or anything. I had to have that hope that Remus would return despite what I was repeatedly being told everyday. To just move on. I couldn't though I felt like an empty shell, I didn't know what to do with myself. I had everyone coming to check on me because they were worried about what I would do. Sighing, I trudged over to the desk. I am done with the pity party. I wanted to be with Remus and my felt like he had truly left us and I didn't know what else to do. I took out a quill and some ink;

Hi everyone,
I am really sorry for what I have to write to you all...I can't do this anymore. I can't keep pretending that everything is okay and to move on. I can't just simply move on without him. He was, is a giant part of me. To know that he is really gone and I feel like I have lost a piece of who I am. I hope you all understand how much you mean to me. I am terribly sorry for everything I have done or caused anyone. I hope you can forgive me for not knowing how to deal.

William, you are my eldest child. I hope you and Emelyn are very happy. You have blessed us knowing we have a growing family. To know how strong a bond really is. I know you are my little soldier as you wouldn't stop fighting for yourself or your sister. I never told you how proud I am of you....truly. You are one of a kind. I love you so much. I am so sorry.....

Lucy, you are our little sunshine. I hope you and Ayden are happy together. Having our first grand child. You made me feel fantastic and terribly old all at once. Also, younger as it seemed you took charge quite a bit. To know that you can handle yourself in the world means that we have done our job right. Having a little girl who is not just a little princess but now a beautiful woman. You make us happy and I have never been more proud of you.

I love you both so much, the two of you showed me the meaning of life. To see your smiles and laughter, even your tears. It has been everything to me to have everyone so close. I know the two of you will always stick by one another. We raised you right. I love you both so much.

James and Lily, Sirius and Ember...I owe you so much. Staying with me to make sure I am fed. To make sure I haven't completely given up on myself. To really know what an amazing support system we have behind us. It's incredible. You guys made our lives worth living. I am going to put an end to this. I am ending the life of someone who had ended Remus' life. Bellatrix, I had figured it out that she had sent the boy to attack him. Do I want him dead no, he's a child. Bellatrix I will make pay. If this is the last thing from me. I am so sorry and please forgive me. You all mean the world to me. I love you all.

I put my quill down as I re-read my letter. Tears clouding my vision, I hoped they wouldn't hate me forever. I had to go get vengeance for Remus and maybe he wouldn't have died in vain. Running a hand through my hair as I left it on the kitchen table as I gathered a few things and walked to the door as I opened it. I took one look around as I pulled the door shut behind me as I left the house.

It was my shift in a manner of speaking to come check on Chloe.  The house was eerily quiet - normally when I came, I heard Chloe crying.  I could not even hear that.  "Chlo?" I called out, walking in and setting my bag down on the table in the foyer.  I started to look around when I saw something on the kitchen table.  I fell into one of the chairs, unable to support myself anymore, tears in my eyes.  I put a hand over my mouth as I read what she wrote, tears falling down my cheeks.  She could not do this.  We would not let her.  I pulled out my wand and sent my Patronus to my husband, brother, and sister.  I could not move.  I reread the letter a few times, wishing that I could figure out where exactly she was going.  I knew who she was going after... but Bellatrix could be anywhere.

I had gotten Em's patronus and I floo'd over to their place. I stepped out of the fireplace, " Em?..." I asked loudly as I knew vaguely what had happened as my message was get your butt her now. Walking into the kitchen, I saw her expression. " What is it?"

Chloe had to be missing or in really bad shape if Ember needed us to get there.  I looked at Lily.  "Let's go," I said, knowing that Ember would not be able to handle anything too bad on her own.  And if she was asking for help, we needed to get there.

I nodded to James as I grabbed my cloak as we left for Remus and Chloe's place. Taking a deep breath as we got there. Walking in, " Hello?" I asked loudly waiting for a response.

I held out the note.  "She left... she's going after her," I said numbly.  "We need to stop her... We can't lose her, too."  I felt fresh tears come to my eyes as I finally stood up to give them all the letter so they could read it.  It was practically a suicide note.

I felt my vision leave as I read her note. Looking to the others, " We won't lose her too." I said as I was damn sure I was sure going to try to save her. I looked to the others "Where do we start?" I asked them. Not entirely sure where Bellatrix would be hiding. Knowing Chloe would go there first.

I looked at Sirius.  "you probably know your cousin far better than the rest of us here," I said sadly, knowing that Sirius hated that fact.  "What are you thinking?"

I sighed, running a hand through my hair. " That disgusts me......but we should check hogsmeade.... if Bellatrix is in the area....that's where she would be first." I told the group. I knew my cousin and that made me incredibly angry. I would find her hopefully before Chloe does. IF not she will pay the ultimate price if she lays one hand on Chloe.

I knew that it always bothered Sirius with how his family was, but in this case it was helpful that he knew their habits.  He had only studied the creatures for fifteen years at least.  "Let's go," I agreed.

We had gotten to Hogsmeade as we started to frantically look around. I wanted to shout for her but I didn't want to attract Bellatrix's attention. We needed to find her or I would end Bellatrix myself. " We need to find her....Em and I will head towards Hogshead." I whispered, I had my wand at the ready as did she.

I nodded at my wife, hoping that they would be careful.  I kenw Chloe would not hurt them... but we could not doubt the fact that Bellatrix would.  I looked over at Padfoot.  "Let's head this way," I said in a voice barely above a whisper.  It seemed almost too quiet.

I headed off with Lily towards the Hogs Head, keeping my eyes peeled.  "I can't believe this..." I whispered, needing to let myself get rid of some of my nervous energy.  What were we going to do?  I hoped that Chloe was okay... if we lost her...

"Anything happens to her....." I whispered. I would end lives to make sure she was okay. I still can't believe Remus isn't here. He needs to see why he can't just leave. I thought I saw something, I put my hand up and gestured to the noise.

I gripped my wand tighter and nodded, following Lily.  I wanted to find Chloe and get her back home... what did she think she was doing?

<< This all happened right after Remus's "death" right?  And then did we want him to come in at the end?  I think he should... he should be holding CHloe when she takes her last breath... because it'd be heartbreaking, but then they could have last words...?? >>