I walk through the shadow of the valley of death, I shall fear no evil -- June 1979

I knew what needed to be done.  I stood in my bedroom and looked around at all of the things that I had once held dear to me.  It all seemed like nothing now.  I was surprisingly calm and resolute about what was about to happen.  I knew that I most likely would not be coming back.  I walked down the stairs and I heard my parents bickering about the fact that Sirius was off with the blood traitor Potters and that he was dating the daughter.  If only they knew what Voldemort was doing... hell, they probably would agree with it all.  They didn't have consciences.  They did not care about a damn thing when it came to humanity.  They were horrible.  I just wish that I would have figured that out before I joined the Death Eaters.  

I walked past the kitchen where my family was and I looked for my house elf.  I wished that I could say goodbye to them, but there was no way I would even hint to them that I was not coming back home.  My parents did not care if I was home or not; they were in their own little world all the time anyways.  I walked up to Kreacher and said, "It's time."  I was speaking softly as to not make my parents worry.  I saw the fear and concern on Kreacher's face and I shook my head.  I knew he did not want me to go, but it had to be done.  I took the house elf's hand and we vanished.

When I opened my eyes, we were in a cave.  I saw a podium in the center of a lake.  The water was ever so still... it looked like glass.  I looked down at Kreacher.  "Get us to the island.  You said that was where he made you drink the potion so he could put the locket in that damn basin.  Take me out there so I can destroy it," I said to Kreacher, looking down at the house elf.  I really hoped that he would get us out there and be strong enough to do what needed to be done.  He had to take orders from me, though, I was his master.  So I knew that he would do exactly what I said.

And he did.  We were soon on the little island.  I walked over to the basin and I felt Kreacher cowering by my legs.  I knew that he could feel the evil in this place; I could.  I did not blame the house elf for being afraid... the last time he was here, he would have died had I not summoned him when I did.  And he knew what was going to end up happening to me after today.  I was the only person who treated Kreacher like a person... much to my parent's dismay.  According to them, I should treat him like dirt.  But I could not.  There was no way I was going to treat someone like that who practically raised me.  My parents were less than loving, but treated me like a king at the same time... then there was Sirius.  I took a deep breath and peered into the basin and saw the locket sitting in the bottom of the liquid that seemed so innocent.  My heart was pounding in my chest and I knew that if I did not star now, then I would end up losing my nerve.  I grabbed the cup and filled it with the liquid.  I looked down at Kreacher and attempted to smile at him.  "Here's to the cause," I said raising the glass.

Kreacher stopped me right before I put it to my lips.  "Master Regulus... that potion will make you see the most horrible things, feel the most terrible feelings... it'll be horrible.  Are you sure you can handle it?" Kreacher asked me, concern written all over his face and I could hear it in his voice.  I felt bad for doing this to him, but he was the only one I could trust to do this for me.

I nodded at Kreacher.  "It has to be done.  I can trust only you, Kreacher.  There is no one else that can finish this if I cannot.  Once I get to the point where I cannot move or whatever it is that happens... Kreacher, you need to take that locket and destroy it.  No matter what the cost.  You must destroy it.  It is one of the only ways to defeat him.  I'm sure that there are more out there... there has to be, but if I can do just this one thing... it'll mean that we're one step closer to defeating Voldemort," I assured my friend.  When he seemed to concede, I drank the potion.  It was like I was filling my body with ice.  I felt it all the way down.  It was not so bad... until it hit me.

I forced myself to continue drinking the potion.  I collapsed onto my knees... even though it felt like ice going down, once it was down it felt like fire.  I was seeing every single horrible decision I have ever made in my entire life.  I saw my big brother running away from the family... abandoning me.  He thought I would be fine there by myself because I was the golden child... but that was what pushed me over the edge.  I went and took the Dark Mark... I became one of them.  I heard an unhuman like noise and realized that it was coming from my own mouth.  I felt horrible... so weak... It was hard to keep my eyes open.  I dropped the cup and fell backwards, leaning against the basin.  I really needed help with this.  And that was when the cup came back to my lips.  I opened my eyes and saw Kreacher trying to help me drink it.  I tried to focus on his eyes instead of the horrible images that were flashing in my mind's eye.  I saw all of my darkest secrets coming to life before me... it was horrible.  Worse than how Kreacher described.  

"I can't... help me... no, no... no more," I moaned, my entire body shaking.  I felt like I was dying.  Which was what I figured would happen to me.  Kreacher was so kind... he kept me on task and helped me finish the rest of what was in the basin.  I took a replacement locket from my pocket and handed it to my friend.  "It has... to go... in there," I said, panting and writhing on the ground.  I could not move.  I kept my eyes open long enough to see that Kreacher switched the lockets.  I took a deep breath and I wanted to make sure I could get through what I needed to say to him.  "Now go, Kreacher.  Back to Grimmauld Place.  Never speak to a soul about any of this... you ahve to leave me here.  Destroy the locket.  Thank you, Kreacher... now please, go," I said, tears in my eyes.  I felt horrible to see the way Kreacher was pained to leave.  I heard the familiar crack of my house elf leaving me forever in this place.  I smiled a little bit to myself... I succeeded in getting rid of a Horcrux.  I took a deep breath and let the darkness enclose around me.

I opened my eyes and saw the familiar ceiling of my bedroom at Grimmauld Place.  I had to be in hell.  There was no way heaven would look like my bedroom... adn there was no way I would feel this much pain if I were in heaven.  I sat up and slapped my cheek a little bit.  This was real.  I was alive... but how?  How did I escape from there?  And did anyone know I was in my bedroom?  I was supposed to have died!  It would have saved my family the burden of them torturing them about what all I knew!  I heard movement outside of my bedroom and I listened.  It was Kreacher and my dearest mother.  I hid as I heard them having a little bit of a spat.  I was grateful that I just got myself compeltely concealed because my bedroom door burst open and I saw the fear on my mother's face.  It broke my heart to hear her calling for me... she ran out of my room and started screaming for me.  I saw the tears in Kreacher's eyes as he closed my bedroom door.  They did not know I was here... they knew I was missing.  I had to leave.

When I thought that the coast was clear, I grabbed a bag and a few pieces of clothing.  Then I lifted up some floor boards in my closet where I hid any money that was made to be mine.  I knew no one would find it in my family... I took out all of my money from Gringotts and everything and hid it here.  I hoped that maybe one day whoever would buy this house when the Blacks finally fell that they would have a great gift waiting for them.  But now I needed it to run.  I had no idea where I would go... but everyone needed to think that I was dead or missing.  I just hoped that I would be able to run and no one would find me.  I needed out of England... out of Europe.  I had the means, now I just needed to find a way.  I snuck out and I left Grimmauld Place, never looking back... but knowing that the screams from my mother who was in pain of not knowing where her child was would haunt me for the rest of my life.  The tears in Kreacher's eyes would make me question if I did the right thing.  I had such a hard time moving... I wanted to know who or what saved me.  It clearly was not my house elf... he had to follow orders and I told him to leave me.  The ghost would haunt me forever... because that meant someone knew what I did and the fact that I was alive.