Evil Isn't Born, It's Made (Language) Part 1 -- January 1982 (DONE)

I felt as if I wasn't a part of my body.  I felt as if I were in limbo with the world.  How long had I been like this?  I could not say.  The last thing I remembered was seeing Voldemort bursting my front door open and the last thing I felt was the fear for my son and wife.  I had known in that instant that Peter had betrayed us -- after everything, one of my best friends just let us die!  If that's what you could even call this.  I thought death would be different... either you woke up in heaven or hell or it was just the end.  I didn't even know what to call this that I was going through.  I was so afraid for Lily and Harry; what they must have faced without me being able to protect them!  If I had my body, just the thought of that would be bringing tears to my eyes... wait a second.  I felt something moist.  I felt some pain.  What was going on?  I suddenly felt the weight of my entire body.  I couldn't move, though.  As much as I tried, I could not lift up my hand.  

I couldn't tell you how long I was like that until I could open my eyes.  My chest was heaving as if I had just run a marathon.  I sat up and realized that I was in a dank area that looked like the dungeons of Hogwarts.  That oculdn't be; I knew that.  My feet were just in my socks... I was wearing what I wore that night.  How long has it been?  I stood up and felt a little wobbly.  What was going on?  There were no windows; nothing told me how long I had been asleep or what time had passed... if anyone knew I was alive -- if Lily or Harry made it.  There was a door with bars in a small cutout at about eyelevel, but there was a flap over top of it that could only be removed from the outside.  Naturally.  I had a small cot for a bed and there was a table with some parchment and quill on it; how nice.  They didn't want me to get bored apparently.  I heard movement from outside the door and I moved back towards the back of the room.  Whoever that was -- I was going to kill them for keeping me here.

Lily was still asleep in her room -- I had some charms in place so that the hallway cut off any type of noise so neither one of them could hear each other.  I didn't really care much about Lily; she could hear a lot.  It was James that I wanted to cut off from the world; that was the only way that I could get James' true friendship.  There was always Sirius ahead of me -- and even Remus, the werewolf.  What was it about me that James didn't like?  Then he had trusted me to be their secret keeper... but it was too late.  They had already lost me.  But they could have me back, this way.  On my terms.  I unlocked the chains and doorknob locking James in and I expected him to be asleep.  I closed the door behind me and I saw that the cot was empty.  I waved my wand and lit the lanterns around the room and saw him in the back corner.  "You're awake!" I said, grinning at my dear friend.

I had not expected Wormtail to walk through the door, but that did not change a thing.  "You son of a bitch!" I shouted, lunging at him.  I did not care about the wand; I wanted to feel his flesh and bone break beneath my fists.  He deserved every ounce of pain that I could give him.  He stopped me with his wand and I was pushed back against the wall, but not painfully.  It was as if he did not want to hurt me.  If he had cared about hurting me, he would not have betrayed me.  "How could you do that to me!  I was one of your best friends!  How could you kill Lily and Harry!  Harry was just a child!  You stop being a fucking coward, Wormtail and let me go.  Or are you too afraid that I will actually succeed in beating you to a pulp?" I had an evil tone to my voice that I could not even recognize it.  There was something off about my own voice; perhaps it was due to the fact that I had not used it for so long.  Or maybe it was because I had murder in my eyes.

I had partially expected Prongs to do that, hence why I was ready for him to attack.  I did not want to hurt him, though, so I was at least gentle with thrusting him back towards the wall.  "Prongs, settle down," I spoke to him calmly.  I knew he would end up wanting answers, but he was not going to know what happened that night.  I would decide later if he was allowed to know any details about his sister or anything.  I did not think it was wise right now; I wanted him to feel alone so he coudl bond with me again.  I gazed at my friend.  "If you promise to be civil, I will let you off the wall," I told him.  "And I saved you, Prongs.  It was a complicated process to succeed, but I did.  Of coures, there were issues... you've been in some sort of coma for a few months.  But still, you are alive.  I did that.  I am one of your best friends.  Why would I risk my life to go against You-Know-Who in the first place?" I asked, getting a little irritated at how ungrateful James was being.

How dare he!  He acted as if he wanted me to be grateful?  I just laughed.  I could not help myself.  I could tell that it angered him, which made me do it all the more.  I was sure I sounded like a crazy person, just standing there laughing like a madman.  But what he said next made me stop instantly.

"Padfoot thought I was a joke, too.  Now he's in Azkaban... I wish that he could have died in the explosion," I told James.  I smiled when that wiped the smirk off of his face.  "And it wasn't so funny when I told the Dark Lord where you were, either, now was it?  Maybe you all will learn to respect me.  The only one who did was Remus.  But that was because he was shy; I bet if he were like you and Sirius, I would have to teach him to respect me as well."  I twirled my wand in my fingers a little bit.  I let the charm up so that James could move a little bit.  There was no reason that I could not let that sink in without force.

I could not believe what I was hearing.  He made it so Sirius went to Azkaban?  He thought that we had always disrespected him?  "Wormtail... what are you talking about?  You were our friend; of course we respected you.  We defended you!  You ungrateful prick.  I can't believe that you would do this to us!  We always protected you... Wormtail."  I could not believe this.  How could he be like this?  I realized that he had let me go off the wall.  I would wait to attack him.  I wanted answers.  And I wanted them now.

"You were both always laughing at me.  But this time it will be different because I will be in control, not you.  Maybe in time we can get Moony back in the group.  But first we need to get you to learn where you stand," I told him.  I moved closer and I set my wand down.  If he thought he was going to get away with hitting me like he had done when I first entered, he had another thing coming.  I was stronger than I looked.  And he underestimated me for the last time.  "Did you ever think that perhaps you never gave me enough credit to be able to defend myself?  You never let me show either one of you.  And you both are paying for it now.  You're all alone... both of you are.  Sirius won't be able to see Ember or the kids.  And You will never see your family again."  I was slowly rolling up my sleeves.  I was going to enjoy putting him in his place just like I had done with Sirius.

What on earth was he doing?  I prepared myself to fight back.  I was going to get out of here alive.  I didn't even care if that meant that he would end up dead on the ground.  Peter was never good when provoked.  And I was goign to use that to my advantage.  "Of course we laughed at you, Wormtail.  Look at the way you turned out!  You thought the only way to prove yourself was to hang out with the Death Eaters!  After everything we all have been through together... you still went with the weaker side of things.  Can't you see that I am still stronger than you?  And yet you want me to be friends with someone like you?" I couldn't help but laugh again.  I could not even see where this could be understandable in his own mind.  This was ridiculous -- even to his standards.  "Give me your best shot, Wormtail."  Oh yes, I was egging him on.  I wanted him to think that he would be coming out on top.  If he wanted a fist fight, I was going to easily win.  I was going to make him use magic against me.  If what he said was true and Lily and Harry were gone, then I would make him end my life so I could be with them.  If he was lying, then I had to do all I could to get out of here and find them.  And if he would succeed and kill me, then at least I fought trying to escape rather than just listening to what Wormtail was telling me.  Bring it on.

I felt my blood start to boil.  How dare he tempt me like this.  "I know you're angry, Prongs, but there is no reason to take that tone with me.  You don't know what you're up against," I warned him.  I finished rolling up my sleeves and I stood there looking at James.  What did he want?  I did not want to attack him.  But then again, it would be quite fun to put him in his place.  maybe I would give him my best shot.  "Prongs... I will give you one more chance.  I am here as your friend.  I protected you against the Dark Lord.  If he knew you were alive..."  Yes, he was gone, but James didn't know that.  "I would be killed if he knew."  That wasn't a lie; if he was still here he would kill me for keeping James alive.  "We're friends.  You need to trust me that I'm doing this for your best interest."  I was hoping he would listen.  He had been trhough a lot already.

He knows I'm angry?  There is the understatement of the century.  "Why the fuck do you think we're friends?" I yelled at him.  "You fucking prick."  I lunged at him and knocked him to the dirt floor.  We rolled on the ground for a little bit and I ended up on top, punching wormtail in the face.  "You fucking bastard!  I swear... if you... make it... out of here... I will still find a way to kill you," I said, loving the fact that I was kicking his ass.  He practically killed my wife on his own.  Her blood was on his hands; along with my child's!  He was going to pay for this.  There was no doubt about that.  I saw blood oozing from his nose as I stood up.  I pulled him up with me and threw him against the wall.  "Is this what you wanted to prove to me?  That you were so keen on showing me?  You are weak, Peter.  You always will be.  I don't care what you try to tell me... I will never think of you differently.  I wish we would have never let you into our pack."  I spit blood out of my mouth at his body on the ground.  He had gotten in a lucky punch.  I wasn't even going to try with the door... I was sure that he had it magicked somehow.  "Now get up and I swear if you don't get let me out of here, Wormtail, I will continue to cause you pain."  How had the victim become the assailant?  Or was this all in his plan... My guard was up because i did not trust him at all.  Knowing his true nature, trust was a big ask.  And I was not going to fall for it.

I shook my head slightly to clear it.  I had not expected such strength from someone who had been in such a weak state for so long.  I had set my wand down, but I didn't. I had a secret weapon -- well, not quite a secret.  But I had a knife and I was going to use it.  I waited until he came over to grab my shoulder to get me to stand up -- because I knew he would -- then I would make my move.  And when he touched me, I swung around and stabbed him.  I shoved him up against the wall.  "You will stand down, James," I said, loving the look of surprise in his eyes.  I grinned and removed the knife.  "When you realize who is in charge here, then I will fix the wound."  I turned and grabbed my wand off of the desk.  I went to the door and waved my wand to unlock it with the different enchantments than Alohamora.  That was way too simmple of a charm to keep James here.

I had reached down to grab his shoulder when he swung around and shoved me up against the wall.  I felt the piercing pain in my abdomen and I could do nothing but stare at him.  Maybe he did fit the persona of Death Eater.  When he let me go, I slumped down to the floor.  I would not let him heal that wound... I would use it as a reminder of what type of monster I was up against.  "I can't believe you," I said quietly.  I realized how close to tears I was, but I would not give him the satisfaction.  It wasn't because he stabbed me... no, these tears were due to the fact that I realized how trapped I was and the fact that I was not going to ever see my Lily or Harry again.

I smiled a little bit and turned to face him.  "Oh, and I also sold your sister out to the Dark Lord, too.  I wanted to cause the two of you as much harm as possible -- you and Padfoot.  So I was glad that I was able to have a hand in hurting the one thing that both of you cared about so much," I added.  I loved hte look of horror on James's face.  It gave me great pleasure.  perhaps this would be the start of a great relationship -- one in which he actually listened to me for a change instead of the other way around.

"You bastard," I said.  I wanted to get up and hurt him, but I felt like I could not move.  So instead, I watched him leave.  I heard the locks and chains on the door.  I waited until I coul dhear nothing else -- adn who knew if this was due to a magic spell or if it was because he had actually let -- before letting myself cry out in agony.  I kept pressure on my side and I let the tears fall.  I cried out for Lily.  I had to think that there was some small chance that someone might hear me.  Who else was I going to call out for besides my wife?  My son was too young to be out searching for me.  If they were even still alive!  I shook my head; I had to believe they were alive.  If not, then I would lose all hope of staying alive myself.  And I couldn't do that... it was way too early in the game to be giving up.