You're someone I can always talk to... no matter what -- Summer 1977

I was sitting out in our tree house that Daddy had built for me and James a long time ago when we were little.  To be honest, I hadn't been up here for a few years.  Tree houses were supposedly for young kids... and being a teenager it wasn't cool.  At least that was what my excuse had been for a little while.  Today I was just up there thinking about everything that had happened this year.  It brought a smile to my face mostly.  Granted, March I really preferred not to think about; February and afterwards (excluding March of course) was fantastic.  Especially May... I couldn't believe that had happened at James' engagement party... let alone Lily catching us.  I felt myself blush even at the thought of it.  I heard some movement outside the tree house and looked over and saw James walking in.  Looked like he had the same idea.  "Hey," I said, letting him know that I was at least sitting up there so he wouldn't be startled.

I hadn't expected anyone to be up here. "Oh, hey Em," I said, grinning at her. That was one thing that I was missing lately -- good sibling time together. Maybe this would be a good thing, even though I wanted to be alone with some thoughts.

I was slightly surprised by the smile on James's face.  "What's up?  Want me to leave?" I asked him, thinking he may prefer to be alone up here.  I wasn't sure what he was planning up here.

I shook my head and plopped down on the pillow next to my sister. "Nah, you can stay," I told her, eyeballing her. "What has you looking so lovestruck?" My sister had this dreamy look about her. I grinned at her, sure I knew what she had been thinking about as much as I hated that it was with my best friend. But it was nice to see her this happy.

I rolled my eyes.  "Oh, like you don't know?" I questioned, teasing him, knocking my shoulder against his.  "I was just thinking about stuff.  "What are you doing up here, anyways?  I didn't expect you to be home to be honest.  Shoulnd't you be wedding planning and stuff with Lily?"  I knew Lily was probably already getting things figured out.

I was sure I knew what she had been thinking about, too -- Sirius. I shrugged. "I came up here to try to get a clear head about different things. Nothing major or anything," I told my baby sister... even though I wasn't sure if I could call her that anymore. She was all grown up to be quite honest. I had seen that aspect quite well since she started dating Sirius.

I raised my eyebrows at him.  "Clearing your head?  What's up?" I inquired, trying to get him to open up to me.  Why was it so hard for us sometimes to do so?  I knew we really hadn't grown apart... but we were both just too buttheaded to really get into our deeper feelings.  "You're not getting cold feet already, are you?"  Oh Merlin... what that would do to Lily!

I laughed a little bit. Shaking my head, I replied, "No, I'm not getting cold feet. Ember... you know how long that I've loved Lily. I'm just starting to wonder what I ever did to deserve her. Not in the bad way where I'm going to bolt or anything... but... I don't know. It's hard to explain." I ran a hand through my hair and looked at Ember, hoping that she might understand what I was trying to get at.

I wasn't really sure where he was going with this.  "James... you don't need to try to rationalize everything that happens in your life.  Just take it in stride; I am.  You and Lily were meant to be together... if not, then this wouldn't be happening," I told him.  I wondered why he thought any different.  Or was I not understanding him?

I laughed. "I know you're right, Em... but my mind is on overdrive right now with everything going so great," I said. "I almost feel like there will be something not good coming; it's like I'm waiting for the other foot to drop. Don't ask me why... I just don't know. With the way the last few months have been... with everything we've all been through, I'm just worried." I looked at my sister and took hold of her hand. "I'm just really glad you all are okay. And Ember, you have to know that that night... I was as worried about you as I was with Lily. I didn't choose her over you." I knew that really didn't have much to do with what we were talking about, but it had been on my mind since everything that happened in March. I almost felt like Ember thought I had chosen my fiancé over my sister. I mean, they both are family... but I have always been Ember's protector. And that night I wasn't; it was Sirius who protected her.

I was so not expecting that.  I just sort of sat there staring at James for a moment.  "James... you did choose Lily over me," I said, holding up a hand so he wouldn't interrupt.  "But you're supposed to.  She's going to be your wife.  I will always be your sister.  But you don't always have to be the one protecting me."  I squeezed his hand and smiled at him. "I'm pretty sure I have a new protector as of right now.  And if I end up losing him at one point or another, I am a big girl.  I don't necessarily need a body guard."  I didnt' want to think that Sirius and I could end up breaking pu... but one never knew what the future had in store for us.

I didn't like the way she phrased that. It made me sound like such a horrible person. "A protector isn't necessarily a body guard," I added, giving her a look. I sighed and smiled at her. "And I will always be your protector whether you want or need me to be or not. That's just the way I roll, okay?" She should know this. It's not like we haven't lived together for enough years or anything.

I laughed and pushed my hair away from my face.  "I know, James, I know," I said, smiling at my big brother.  "But your priorities have to be shifting now.  Lily is the most important girl in your life now.  And don't worry about me.  At one point or another I will be someone's most important girl, too... whether it's with Sirius or not, it doesn't matter.  It will happen at one point or another.  I don't blame you for going after Lily that night.  She's your true love, James."  I sighed and looked at him, recognizing that look in his eyes.  "Seriously, don't worry about me.  I realize that my relationship with Sirius probably won't last... I was just glad that he was there that night.  I really don't expect me to be his true love or anything like you adn Lily, James.  But you don't need to fret... I am a big girl and I know how to handle myself if I were to get my heart broken."  I was speaking as if I knew what would end up happening.  I was kind of waiting for the other foot to drop ending everything... that was just hte way it went with Sirius.  To be honest, I think this might be hte longest he had ever been with a girl.

Was I worried about her and Sirius?  Yes I was.  But she misread the look that had been on my face.  I was not worried they were going to break up... I was worried that I was losing my sister to my best friend.  I obviously realized that I did not control my sister or anything... but I saw the way Sirius looked at her.  I saw the way she looks at him... I always have.  I have also hated it.  But I did not like the fact that she seemed to think that it was going to be ending.  I shook my head at her.  "Ems... I think you have it all wrong," I spoke to her softly.  "I can't believe I am actually going to say this... but, Ems, I do think that you are Sirius's most important girl in his life.  Hell, I think you're the most important person to him -- and that includes me.  The change in Sirius is what scares me, Ember.  I have never heard him talk about someone like this... I have never seen him look at someone like the way he does when he looks at you.  I may be misreading him because I am a guy, and that does happen."  I sighed and ran a hand through my hair.  "Ems... I know you love him.  I don't really know what all the two of you have said to each other or anything, but from what I see, I know he loves you, too.  Don't count your relationship out just yet... I really think that you are his Lily."  That took a lot for me to say that.  I hated to admit it... but it was true.

Did I just hear my brother correctly?  I smiled at him and gave him a hug.  "Thank you, James," I said to him quiety.  I could nto believe he just admitted all of that to me just to reassure me.  That was why I loved him.