Betrayal Shouldn't Surprise Me -- November 1981

I nodded and put my hand on her shoulder. "Tobi, I understand. People on the streets ask me why I look so glum... then they must either recognize me as a Potter or think I'm a muggle because then they get this knowing look and walk away without another word. Everyone has a right to be happy and hopeful," I told her, not wanting he rto feel bad for beign like that in front of me. "It's just that right now, I need to mourn my brother and sister. And to think... Dumbledore wont' even let us have Harry!" New tears burst from my eyes. My godson I couldn' teven see! "I have never hated Dumbledore in my entire life, Tobi... but I had a hatred burning in my heart because of him. He thinks it's safer for Harry with Lily's side of the family! Her sister who is so anti-magic that it's not even funny! How is Harry supposed to live? I'm his godmother and I can't even get to see him?"

I wrapped my arms around Ember and held her.  "Can't you fight it somehow?  You're Harry's legal guardian now, aren't you?  That has to count for something..." I wanted to help ease her pain.  but I didn't know how.  It was all too deep and fresh for her... and I knew that it was going ot be along hard road for them.

I sighed and wiped my eyes. "I probably could... but Tobi, am I foolish enough to argue with Dumbledore just because I want to see my nephew? I want to make sure he's okay... but do I want to see him just to be able to see a little part of my brother and sister? Harry's best interest should be what I'm concerned about. And if Dumbledore thinks this is it, who am I to argue?" I wanted to argue so much, though. harry had a right to know about his family and what he was going to be. I knew the Dursleys wouldn't do a damn thing to help him; they hated James and Lily. Why would they want to care for their son?

"But Ember... Dumbledore also trusted Peter," I countered quietly.  "Maybe his judgment isn't as good as what people think it is..."  I hated to make that comparison, but I wanted Ember to think that she had a fighting chance to save that boy from whatever it is he will have to endure with a wizard-hating family like that.  Ember had told me stories from what James had said to her.  It was unreal.

I guess she was right. I sighed. "I don't know, Tobi... You know what? I am going to try to get Harry. He deserves to live with someone who cares about him," I said, giving her a hug. "Thank you..." I took another drink and looked at the time. I hadn't gotten word from Sirius. I had left him a letter to let him know where I had gone and why. Though the fear was no longer there as to needing to know we were safe, but still. It was there a little bit.