If we stand side by side, there's a chance we'll get by -- Fall 1975

I threw my school bag onto one of the chairs in the common room.  I had just come from dinner... in passing Sirius and his mates, I heard my brother call his parents 'mum' and 'dad'.  I knew things were not great at home... but when he said that... it made me feel like shit, frankly.  It made me feel like he did not even think of me as a brother anymore, just of him as a brother.  That stupid prat, Potter.  and the whole lot of them. 

Yes, I was a bit of a prat to him at home, but he had to know that I still thought of him as a brother.  He had to know that I could not tell him that I was really proud of him and looked up to him... I could not just say those things.  I pulled out my potions book to work on the essay that Slughorn wanted us to write.  I could not focus, though.  I was really hurt, actually.  I was staring into space, thinking that maybe -- just maybe -- I could tell Sirius the truth. 

That was when Bella's laughter filled my head, I knew that there was no way I could speak the truth.  Not with what I was getting into -- almost being forced into.  I had to make up for Sirius at home.  I looked at the door to the common room and saw Narcissa walk in with her platinum blonde hair.  I tried to smile at her, but I knew that I probably looked like I had a bad headache instead of being happy.  Which was partially true.