A change in behavior begins with a change in heart -- August 2015

I had just gotten back from the doctor's and looked over at Dahlia feeding our little one year old.  It brought tears to my eyes.  I walked up and gave my daughter a kiss on the forehead and smiled over at my wife.  She knew for the past month or so I had not been doing well, and the test results were in today.  I told her to stay here with Phoebe because I did not want them to be there if it was bad news -- our daughter was a handful to keep still sometimes.  "When she goes down for her nap, we need to talk, Dahlia," I said to her softly.

I sighed, not sure what I was seeing in Dahlia's eyes.  our daughter did not seem to be phased at being put in the playpen with her toys.  I sat down on teh couch with my wife, taking hold of her hand.  But she pulled away from me, which was disconcerting.  "Dahlia, the results were as I feared," I said to her, trying to pick my words carefully.

I held onto Dahlia's hand tightly.  "Honey, I'm sorry," I said to her softly.  "But I'm going to fight for you and for Phoebe... I love you both."  My voice cracked slightly, revealing how scared I truly was.

There was something off with Dahlia's smile, but I conributed it to the bombshell I just landed on her.  I took her hand and kissed it gently.  "You have no idea how happy I am to hear you say that," I said.  If my support system left me... what would I have done?

I took Dahlia into my arms and hugged her.  "You don't know how happy I am to hear those words," I assured her, though I felt like I was just saying the same things in different ways.  But it was true nonetheless.

I gave her hand a squeeze.  "I love you," I assured her, giving her another kiss.  "Are you sure you're okay?  You can talk to me -- even if you're having issues with us or this..."

"I know," I said to her, squeezing her hand.  "It's a lot to take in.  But we'll figure everything out."  At least, I hoped that she would let us figure it out and not just her.

I furrowed my brow slightly with the way that she said that.  I was not entirely sure how she meant it.  I sighed.  "It'll be okay, Dahlia.  I'm not going to leave you or Phoebe."