We are broken -- Spring 1981 (DONE)

I smiled at Everyone and walked into Mum's room, ignoring James.  "They don't make it obvious," I said in soft tones like I was talking to my resting mother.  The only reason I agreed to bring James here was because Mum was worse than what I had initially told James.  Mum was weak and I honestly was not sure if she would make it.  They had barely saved her.  I closed the door and waved at one of the people in the waiting room.  It was the Order member who was guarding her.  "Keep the cloak on, they're watching," I said, sitting down on the side of Mum where the stroller with the kids were.

I sat down and kept hidden, but I grabbed Mum's hand.  "Ems... she looks pale," I said quietly.  The sight of her brought tears to my eyes.  "Mum," I whispered, "It's me, James.  I'm here fo ryou."  I wished I could do more to comfort her.

My one year old son started to fuss.  I stood up and picked him up, bouncing him slgihty to keep him quiet.  "James.. she's worse than what they'll even tell me.  But she told me.  It's why I had to tell you," I explained to my brother, the worry obvious in my voice.

I wished Ember could see my face.  "Ember, I need her to be able to see me," I said quietly.  I stood up and moved around.  I wanted to be able to see each other.  "I don't care if the member will see me, they'll have to just understand," I said.  The had to.  This wa smy mother.

"Don't," I said sharply.  "Benjy might not be the only one out there."  The last thing I needed was for James to get killed on my watch.  My voice made Dean fuss all the more.  Thank goodness Elena was behaving; this was typically their normal.

I coughed a little bit.  "Children... you're upsetting my grandson," I said, moving my bed so I could sit up.  Though I could not see him, I knew my son was there.  He had a hold of my hand after all.  "No... Ember, I todl you not to worry your brother."  Even though I said that, i was grateful I would be able to at least tlak to my son.  I had a soft smile on my lips.  I held out both of my hans and took one of Ember's while James was in the other.  I knew I was far worse than anyone told my daughter.  But I had made a promsie years ago when Ember was just a young girl that I would always tell her the truth.  So I told her everything the Healers had told me.  Whatever the Death Eaters had poisoned me with was incurable.  And with that... they could only keep me comfortable.  Only a slow death for me apparently from here on out.  If only I had not called for help, I would not be suffering now.  I would die to protect my children... and I knew they wanted James and his eloved family.  Particularly Harry from what I have been told.

I took hold of Mum's hand and squeezed it.  "I'm not worried, Mum," I answered queitly.  The look I saw on her face told me she did not believe me.  I moved my cloak slightly so she could see my face.  "It's because of me that you're in here.  Me, Harry, and Lily," I said.

I rolled my eyes at my son.  "Even seeing your face tells me you're extremely worried," I said hoarsely.  "And don't blame yoursrelf James.  You wil learn soon enough that you will do anything to protect your child."  I looked over at Ember.  "Thank you, sweetie, for brining him.  I needed to see you both before..." I trailed off, not wanting to think about it.

I squeezed Mum's hand.  "I don't want you to think like that," I said, trying to keep my voice under control.  James met my eye and he finally realized how bad it was.

I really did not want to think like that.  I heard movement outside the door and hid my floating face quickly.  A healer came in and handed her some potions to take.  they must have tasted horrid because the face Mum made.  The healer looked a little confused as he left the room.  When the door closed, I said, "I think we should leave... that looked suspicious.  Almost as if he knew..."

I was feeling tired and nodded at them.  "I love you both so very much," I said softly.  There was no way I would let them leave without saying that.  They had to know how I felt towards them.

I stood up and leaned in to give her a kiss and let her hug and kiss dean.  "I love you, Mum.  We'll be back when we can," I told her.  I did not want to leave, but I felt like something was off, too.  I put Dean back in the stroller and made sure that Elena was okay.

I gave my mum a kiss and waited for Ember.  I stopped in the doorway.  "I love you so much, Mum," I said, tears in my voice.  This may be the last time I would see her... at least until this was all over.  And who kenw when that would be.

I watched as my daughter and grandkids left.  I kenw James was leaving with them, though I did not see him.  I leaned back and closed my eyes.  Then it felt like someone put a pillow over my face.  I could not breathe and I could not open my eyes.  I heard the beeping and the bustle from outside of my room... and then nothing.  I saw a light and my husband beckoning me with his hand out, reaching towards me.  I took it and let him lead me away from the life I had.

We were nearly down the hall when people started bustling towards mum's room.  I turned with the stroller and we heard the flat line.  I moved closer tot he room and realized tha Mum was gone.  I felt arms around me and quiet sobs in my ear.  Tears ran down my cheeks as James was holding me tightly.