Being completely honest -- Fall 2013

I needed to open up and tell someone what was going on.  I had waited for what seemed to be forever to be honest with myself and everyone else.  I saw my best friend sitting in a chair reading a book. I walked up to Leo and sat down by him.  I leaned forward with my elbows on my knees.  "Leo... I need to just get something out... I have been lying to myself and to everyone.  And I just need to talk it through and be honest about something... do you have time to talk?" I questioned.  I knew sometiems when you were in the middle of a book one did not want to be disturbed.  I just hoped that Leo would listen.

Declan was not even giving me a chance to greet him.  With a bemused smile on my face, I nodded at my friend.  "Of course I will listen to you," I said.  He was a couple of years older than me, but we had instantly clicked.  He was definitely my guy best friend while Sedona was my female best friend.  Declan was almost more like a big brother to me than anyone.  "What's going on, Dec?  You don't necessarily seem freaked out, but at the same time you're panicking.  I'm a little lost," I admitted.

I smiled a little bit at Leo.  "Sorry... I'm just... I'm finally realizing who I am.  And I don't know how you'll take it," I said nervously.  I knew some people would not be okay with having a guy friend hwo was gay -- espeically when you thought they were straight for allt hese years.  If elt horrible for not getting the tugts tos ay this earlier.

I smiled at my friend.  "Dec, you know you can talk to me about anything," I informed him.  Since when did we ever worry about what the other person thought?  "What's up, mate?"

I may as well just say it bluntly.  I was not one for beating around the bush.  "Leo," I said, hoping my friend would not freak out.  A lot of people would change their minds about me completely knowing this.  "I'm gay... and I really hope that doesn't bother you because I don't want to lose our friendship.. but you're practically a brother to me, so I wanted you to hear it from me rather than through the rumors of everyone else at school."  I was talking rather quickly due to being unsure if I should continue to explain myself or not to him.

I put a hand on Declan's shoulders, smiling at him.  "Dec, I know," I told him.  I nearly laughed at the expression on his face.  "We've been friends for awhile now... you've never had a girlfriend, you say a lot of things that my female cousins comment on... I put together the pieces."  It was no big deal in my opinion.  I was just glad that he had finally told me.

I was really kind of shocked that Leopold was that observant that he knew I was gay.  I ran a hand through my hair and chuckled slightly.  "Why did you never say anything?" I inquired.  I would have thought he would have asked just to see if htey were right or not.

I smiled at him.  "I didn't ask because I figured you'd tell me when you were ready.  I wasn't going to force you to tell me.  It's really not a big deal to me, mate," I assured him.  I could understand why he would be scared to come out, but I wanted him to kno for sure that I did not mind at all.

I really was not sure if I deserved a friend like Leo, but I was glad that I had him.  I grinned at him.  "You're the best, Leo," I assured him.

I clapped him on the shoulder.  "You know it to be true," I said, grinning at him.  "And now i have a huge favor to ask you, mate."  I was completely stumped with my Astronomy homework and I could use the guidance of someone who had taken this level before to help me out. I just hoped that Declan would be able to remember enough to be of help to me.

I laughed and nodded at him.  "Anything," I assured him.  "What do you need?  I mean, if it's advice on the ladies... I won't be much help," I joked, knowing that would elicit an eye roll from him.

Of course Dec would get to that point.  Laughing, I shook my head.  "No, it's not ladies," I assured him.  "I try not to deal with ladies that much right now... they're too complicated."  I showed him the problem in the Astronomy homework.  "What do you think?  Am I on the right track...?"

I looked his parchment over and pulled out a quill, dipping it into some ink.  I started to cross a few things out.  "There, you should be good now.  Do you see what you were doing, though?" I asked, wanting him to understand his mistakes that I corrected for him.  That was the only way he would learn.

I looked over what Declan changed and tried to see what he said I was doing wrong, but I just could not.  I sighed and looked up at him, a slight smile on my face as an apology.  "No... I sitll have no clue," I said honestly.

Smiling and being patient, I grabbed a scrap piece of parchment to write out my thought process without killing his homework.  I made sure that Leo understood everything.  "Got it now, bud?" I asked, not necessarily meaning to diminish Leopold by calling him 'bud' but I was older than him by a few years.