The only time saying goodbye is painful is when you know you'll never say hello again -- Spring 1970

We were at St. Mungo's and there were Healers checking on me, but I was fine.  I had cuts and bruises on me; they thought I had been attacked as well.  After the last incident of Healer Smith, Dad wiped memories and no one remembered me being a werewolf.  They knew that was what attacked Mum, though... just not the entire story.  I had tears in my eyes as I looked at the bandage on Mum's neck.  She had claw marks where I almost ripped her throat out.  I remembered doing that to my own mother.  Dad was out getting some coffee.  He had blood all over him still. 

There was movement and I looked to see Mum starting to wake up.  I took hold of her hand.  "Mum?" I asked, my fear evident in my voice.  My parents were the only things I had.  I never made friends; we moved too often.  Any time people started to ask questions about me, we left.  We were only at this new place for a couple of months and then this happened.  We stayed in Muggle communities because they were less likely to realize what I was.

The last time I had to bring Remus into St. Mungo's for something that I could not fix, the Healers got testy and wanted to help him but not help him at the same time.  I wiped their memories.  Something I did not want to do, but had to.  I had to protect Remus.  Now I let them believe that a werewolf attacked my wife and son... not that it was my son who attacked my wife.  They naturally believed it.  I was getting a cup of coffee because I was extremely strained.  

I swallowed the bitter coffee, but I did not change any of it.  It would help keep my head clear.  I knew I had to go back down to Hope's room where I left Remus.  I sighed and headed back.  I was not entirely sure what I was going to do now.

I hurt all over; my head felt fuzzy.  I started to open my eyes and bright light was nearly blinding me.  I heard my son's voice and that brought me back to reality.  I went to move my head to find my son, but my neck was on fire.  It hurt to turn my head any which way.  "Remus?" I said, my voice raspy sounding.

"I'm here," I said to her quietly.  Tears were in my eyes.  I knew that I could not do this to her again.  I had done a lot of thinking while she had been resting and even when dad was in the room.  I stayed quiet, lost in my thoughts.  I hated how much I was hurting the both of them.  There were only three healers that knew of my lycanthropy and they lied about it every single day.  they were not the ones who were there yet today.  It was that horrible Healer Smith and we had to lie and hear all his opinions about werewolves when he realized that we both were -- erm -- attacked.

None of that would matter anymore.  Not with what I decided to do.  I would no longer poison my parents with my disease.  but I moved forward on my chair and held onto my mum's hand.  This could be the last time I saw her.  I wanted to make sure she would be able to see me.  "Don't move... your neck is hurt," I said to her.

Of course I knew my neck was injured.  My eyes found Remus instead and smiled at him.  "I see that you are alright, though," I said to him.  "You didn't hurt yourself...?  No broken bones that needed mending?"  I was not entirely sure what all had happened last night.

As I approached the room, I saw that Remus was speaking to Hope who had woken up.  I opened the door and heard my wife's question.  "No, dear," I assured her as I shut the door to our private room quietly.  "Remus only had the normal scrapes and bruises.  Nothing major."  I sat down and looked at Remus.  He had gauze around his head for I had to blast him away from his mother and Remus had hit the window and it cut into him.  Remus also had a sprained ankle that the Healers fixed up straight away, so he at least no longer limped.

I nodded, only wincing slightly from the headache I had from the curse and wound still.  "What Dad said," I said to Mum softly.  I was just so worried I would do something like this.  I only killed my own mother.  I was not going to let myself do that again.  I was just fearful that I would not have the courage to do what was necessary -- I knew my family would not be able to do it, though.  Someone had to make the choice.

I was relieved by that news.  I reached out and held onto my son's hand.  "Honey, I don't want you to beat yourself up about this," I said to him gently.  "It's merely a scratch that will heal."

I saw the tears well in our son's eyes; I knew that his mum was trying to be strong for his sake.  I knew that he was trying to be strong for his mother.  It was a horrible accident that had happened.  I was not entirely sure how we were going to do this as a family.  I smiled at both of them.  "You both are going to be okay with some time," I said.  "That is all that matters."

I nodded slowly as Dad talked.  I took a deep breath.  "I know," I replied, though my voice sounded as distant as my mind was.  I was not going to keep doing this to my parents.  They deserved a son who was not a monster.

I looked over at my son and I could tell that he had something weighing on his mind.  "Remus, honey, everything is okay," I assured him.  "You don't need to worry anymore."

"We both have just been rather worried," I said after waiting for Remus to speak... he had not, so I answered for the both of us.

I nodded.  Swallowing hard, I looked at my parents.  "I'm going to run to the loo," I said, thinking of an excuse to get out of there.  I wanted to say goodbye, but then it would be obvious.  I could not keep doing this to them.  There was no way I could.  I nearly killed my own mum.

I watched Remus leave the room and looked at John. "This wasn't his fault, John," I said quietly. "We need to assure him of that."