I wondered why you came for all this after so long -- Summer 1975

I was sitting on the dock, staring across the water of the lake behind the house.  I was not entirely sure what I wanted to do.  Dad did not know a thing about it.  I looked back down at the wedding invitation in my hand.  Mum was getting remarried.  I remembered everything that happened very well.  It had only been five years.  Five years and she moved on?  Well, so had we.  I looked around.  Everyone thought that we lived here for ages... in reality, only the last five years.  Five years since we left my mum.  Everyone thought it was the other way around... it was my decision to leave.  I had not seen nor spoken to her since.  I had no idea why I had gotten an invitation in the first place.  Was she hoping that someone stopped her?  Was she just tyring to hurt us like we hurt her?

I had not heard the soft, light footsteps of Ember coming up next to me until she sat down and said hello to me.  I pushed the invitation to my other side away from her and smiled at her.  "Hey," I said to her.  I looked over at her and was shocked by how different she seemed just from a couple of weeks not being at Hogwarts and seeing her every evening.  She definitely looked older than she was.

Mum and Dad let me go to the lake at John Lupin's since it was steaming outside.  I had on my flops and a sundress over a cute little bikini.  The plan was just to swim, but then I saw Remus sitting on the dock with his feet in the water.  He seemed a bit depressed.  I walked over to him, having taken off my flops, quietly.  "Hey," I said to him in return, sitting down next to him.  The sun was beating down on us and the water felt good on my feet.

"How's it going?" I asked, eyeing him curiously.

I shrugged, looking out across the water.  "It's' been better," I said to her honestly.  "You look like you came here for a swim."  I looked back at her and smiled slightly.  "Go ahead and jump in if you want."  I was getting a little toasty myself.  "I might have to jump in, actually." 

Besides, swimming around and joking around with Ember would get my midn off of the wedding invitation.  I did not even want to think about Mum adn what was going on.  After five years, she was getting married?  Five years and she found a new life?  Five years.... why was she reaching out to us?  And how did she find us?  What did she want?

I shrugged.  "yeah, that was the original plan," I said, noticing some parchment next to him.  I was not sure if he would even talk to me, but I was going to try.  "But... I'd rather help out a mate.  What's going on?"

And when I hoped Ember would be a distraction, she wanted to know what was going on.  I smiled at her and shook my head. "Nothing," I said to her, standing up.  I offered her my hand.  "Why don't we jump in?"  I knew in an instant that I should not have stood up.  She snatched the parchment and stood up to move away from me. 

"Ember, you're worse than James.  Don't do this; just give it here," I said to her, following her up the dock.

He stood up and the parchment was easy to grab.  I snatched it up and ignored his hand, standing up on my own and moving away from him.  I read quickly enough and handed it back to him.  "No wonder you're upset," I said to him simply.  That evil woman; how dare she contact him after all this time!  She left them when he was younger!  At least, that was what it sounded like.  He hardly spoke of his mother, though.  "Does your dad know?"

I flinched at Ember's tone slightly.  I raised my eyebrows at her.  "And how exactly do you know all of that?" I questioned, though I knew she had probably heard me and the guys mentioning it or something.  But that meant that she would have been eaves dropping.  She just smiled at me and I knew she was not going to say anything.

"No he doesn't know," I said.  "And I'm keeping it that way."  I did not need Ember saying anything to him when she did not knwo the full story.  "She's really not as bad as what you think she is, either.  But I can't imagine this invitation was her doing."  I looked at it again.  I had no idea what I was looking for on it.  There was nothing but the typed up, glossy letters.  I walked and put it with my shoes so it would not blow away.

"I'm jumping in," I told Ems.  I knew that she had more to say, but she could say it while we were swimming.  It was too hot for us to be standing near water and not be in it.

I merely smiled and waited for Remus to continue talking.  I nodded, understanding.  "Wait?  She's not as bad as what I think?" I questioned.  "She left you, right?  Or what didn't I overhear?"  I felt my face get a bit red by the look he gave me.  The tone when eh said that, though, was being so... there was sadness and there was also some love, too.  It was confusing to say the least. 

Then I grinned evilly when he said he was going to jump in.  That was when I pushed him and then jumped in after him.  I swam closer to where he popped his head out of the water.  "Are you going to talk to me about what's going on?" I asked.

I was about to open my mouth and say something when Ember pushed me in.  I did not even have time to hold my breath.  My head resurfaced and I saw her swimming towards me.  I shook my head rather like a dog to get the water away from my face and sighed.  "I don't know," I told her honestly.  I did not even come clean with the guys about my mother.  "I don't talk about my mother for a reason." 

For one fact, it was too painful.  For another, it was easier to let them believe what they wanted rather than to say that I ran away from a loving family.  I was trying to protect her, yes, but I had been weak at the same time for running away from a problem.  I still had a hard time believing that I was Sorted into Gryffindor for those reasons.

I gave him a look. "I respect that," I said to him, floating up onto my back.  "I just meant whether or not you were going to talk to me about the wedding invitation.  I can help you think it out if you want."  I moved so I could face him and show him a reassuring smile.  "You don't have to do this on your own if you don't want to... but I'll understand if you don't want to talk about it.  It's really personal."

I was surprised by Ember.  "Oh, that aspect," I said, swimming towards the dock and hoisting myself up to sit on it wiht my feet dangling down into the water.  She joined me and looked at me expectantly.  "I don't know what to do," I said, pushing my shaggy hair away from my face.

"I almost want to go..." I trailed off.  I was not sure if I wanted to see it - or her - but in the same respect... what if she wanted me there?

I nodded slowly.  "For closure or something?" I asked, wanting a bit of clarification.  I was assuming that was what he wanted anyways.  "that makes sense... do you think she sent it?"  who else could have if it was not his mum?

"Something like that," I answered, not entirely sure if that was the right way to describe it.  I sighed and shrugged.  "I imagine so... I just don't know how she managed to do so..."  She was a Muggle, after all; however, she had been involved in the Wizarding World for at least ten years.  She knew certain aspects.

I sighed and looked at Ember.  "Does it make me silly that I'm not entirely sure if I want to go alone...?" I questioned.  I just had no idea how to take one of the guys or anybody -- they all thought she abandoned me.  when they realized she was not in the picture, they formed their own assumptions and I let them run with it.  My dad and I hardly spoke about it, so it was easiest that way.

I bit my lip and shook my head.  "Not at all," I said to him quietly.  I could tell that he was extremely nervous about the entire fact of going with or without someone.  I put a hand on his arm gently.  "I could go with you if you'd like..." I was really going out on a far limb with this because I did fancy Remus a bit.  I just knew that the guys might not understand this more sensitive side of Remus -- they might ruin it with their abrasiveness if Remus wanted to let his mum back into his life.

I looked over at Ember, surprised.  "Really?  You'd go?" I questioned, glad that I had not actually asked and that she offered to go.  It made me feel a little better about the whole James situation.