Broken and Confused -- August 1979

I couldn't believe that I had two rings on my finger. What would Ember say? Especially with who it was with. But I was happy in a way. I knowt hat the beginning was forced... but Peter was conflicted. I would try to help sway him to the better side but I also knew that it would be hard to do. Jada did like him a lot. One of the few men who actually got her to like them. It was just hard. I had supper ready for him for when he got home. I just hoped he would be hom eon time...

I was at least an hour late when I walked through the fron tdoor. "Tobi?" I said quietly. I knew it was late so I was trying not to wake her if she had fallen asleep. I knew she had Jada being watched so this was going to a night for us... but it got interrupted by a meeting. And when there's a meeting you drop everything. I walked through the dining room to see that the table had been set so I knew that she had made some sort of supper for us. I entered the living room and saw her asleep on the couch watching what the muggles called a television. We lived in a mainly muggle community so to look normal we owned one. Besides, Jada loved the show she called Dora. I put my hand softly on Tobi's shoulder. "Honey, you should probably get to bed," I said quietly.

I woke with a start as I heard Peter's voice. "Was it another meeting?" I asked as I gathered my senses since I felt disoriented for the moment. I looked into his blue eyes. He really was a good person... I just wish he was stronger to be able to see it.

I sighed. "Yeah, but dont' worry about anything," I said to her quietly. What was sad was that if any of the Death Eaters saw where we were living they'd probably laugh in hysterics. I always had to be so careful. But we were protected to a point. This was what Tobi could afford and since I really didn't have much of a job... I coudln't support her that well. I put my hand out to help her up. "Why don't I help you get to bed, honey," I told her.

I took his hand and let him help me up. "Will you ever be able to not do this?" I asked him as I folded up the blanket I had been using. I touched the lamp base and it shut off from it's low lighting. Jada loved playing with this lamp because it had three ligth settings and all you had to do was touch it to change it from one setting to another.

I sighed and walked upstairs wiht Tobi behind me. "You already know the answer to that," I said. I looked into teh room in which Jada slept soundly like she always did. I used to get worried but Tobi said she had always been a good sleeper. I just hope she wasn't too good fo a sleeper if anything were to happen.

Of course I already knew the answer... but a girl could hope, couldn't she? I paused to check on jada as well; sleeping like normal. I made sure I could hear her deep breathing before moving on. I always kept her door open just in case soemthing would happen. I closed the door behind meand realized that I had the bedroom made up nicely for after the lovely dinner we were supposed to have. "Oh, I nearly forgot..." I said, a little embarrassed by the fresh cut roses, the candles (that were not burning), and teh champagne.

I put a hand on Tobi's shoulder and stopped her. "I am so sorry, honey," I said to her, looking into her beautiful blue eyes. "We don't have to do a rain check on everything... the champagne sounds like a pretty good idea right now." I chuckled a little bit, kissing her on teh forehead. Her cheeks were a little rosier than normal and she looked very cute.

I looked into his eyes and saw his heart. He was so kind, loving... he was just naive as well when it came to the 'right side' of things. There was nothing he could do about it though. On his arm was that of a man who sold his soul to one of the most powerful men in Europe... just not the best one. "We could skip the champagne even," I suggested in a whisper, pulling him closer to me so we were pressed against each other.

No words needed to be said. I kissed her with a fiery passion. A passion that seemed so hard to build between us with how we started out. But one that happened despite the circumstances. It had seemed like such a long time that I held October in my arms this way... far too long. As we kissed, I slipped my hands under her top and started to slide it above her head. She was so delicate. The tattoo of a sapphire heart was showing above her bra on her left breast. It signified her father so she would always have him with her. We started kissing once more as we moved closer to the bed. She lifted my shirt off of me and just threw it to the floor. It was hard for me to tell which of us wanted to do this more.

I unbuckled his pants and slid them and his boxers to the floor as he stepped out of them. We were past the point of needing or wanting the long game of forplay. Some is nice. But not a lot. He did the same thing with my jeans and he held me back just a moment whiel I stood there in my skimpy bra and panties. He knew I always put thought into my undergarments and they always matched. Always. I laughed and rolled my eyes knowing he was making a big deal to tease me. I pulled him back towards me as we fell onto the bed playfully. He made sure he was on top and slid a finger beneath my panties and gently slid them off of my legs. My bra got taken off a little more roughly as we kissed. His hand was atop my breast as we moved against each other without him ever entering me. He was prolonging it for whatever reason.

My lips moved down her neck and down to her breasts. I licked and nibbled lightly at her nipples and I continued my quest downward. I moved us so we would both be a little bit more comfortable. I avoided her gemstone belly button ring and moved even farther downward. I would give her the pleasure she had waited for for far too long. I moved my tongue inside, around, and kissed her. Her hips started moving with the timing I was setting for us. She started to moan in pleasure and that's when I stopped. I moved back up top and finally entered her.

I wrapped my legs around him and pulled him closer to me, making him go deeper.  I had a fistful of his hair and pulled slightly, knowing he liked it a little rough, which had always surprised me.  He really was a gentle person.  I kissed him with a passion as our hips moved in unison with each other.  "Oh... Peter," I moaned, starting to pant as we moved.

I couldn't believe that we were together, still to this day.  I had been so surprised that she had done all of this for me -- for us.  Maybe she was coming around to the idea.  I pushed harder and harder, wanting to be sure that I could at least give her pleasure in one aspect of her life.  Finally, neither one of us could take it any longer.  After what felt like an explosion of pleasure, I moved to lay beside her rather than atop her.  I pulled her close and actually was a little surprised she didn't pull away or hesitate at all with that motion.  I kissed her atop her head and whispered, "Tobi, I do love you."