Although I know that he is blind, still I say there is a way for us - Fall 1996

I was out by the lake with Millicent and we were both talking about boys and girly things -- just because we were in a dark House did not mean that we were not girls.  Naturally, the conversation turned to Draco.  "Millie... I just wished that he could see how great we'd be together, you know?" I said to her, sighing as I looked across the grounds.

I sighed and looked at Pansy.  "But... why do you still want to be with him?  You know what happened with everything over the summer," I said to her quietly.  No one knew the truth, there were just rumors, but everyone thought that Draco was a death Eater.  But Crabbe told me that was not the case because his father would know.  I believed Crabbe because he was mine.  Why would I believe something that was never proven to me?  I thought that was a disgrace... saying no to that kind of protection?

I nodded. "Those are just rumors," I said to her.  "I know Draco.  I'm still not sure if all the rumors about what happened to Dumbledore are true either."  I did not want to believe that Draco had a hand in the previous headmaster's death.  It could not have been him at all.

I rolled my eyes.  Sometimes Pansy was so naive -- how she got sorted into Slytherin still boggled me at times like these.  "Pansy, you and I both know that is completely true," I pointed out to her.  There was no use in avoiding the obvious.  "The reasons may not be true with all the rumors going around, but you know he did the deed."

I sighed and shook my head at Millie.  "I know... but that doens't mean I want to believe it aat all," I said to her, hating the fact that I believed it in the first place.

I rolled my eyes.  "Pansy, it's useless to avoid the truth," I said to her flatly.  "You ought to know this by now."

Milicent and I had been drifting apart the longer we were in school.  At first we both were very interested in the Dark Arts... but when I saw different things it was doing ot Draco -- who, let's face it, I loved since I started at Hogwarts -- and it no longer appealed to me as much.  But it was expected of me to marry a Pureblood -- Draco, preferrably -- and be a good wife to a Death Eater or Dark Arts supporter.  And I was up for the challenge when I was younger.  It was clear, though, that Millicent was still looking forward to that life.

"I realize that, Millicent," I said to her, snapping slgihtly.  "But I try to look deeper than certain aspects of a person now... and Draco isn't that type of guy to just up and committ murder."

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes at Pansy.  "Uh-huh," I said.  "And that's the whole reason why you were in love with Malfoy this whole time...."

I sighed.  "He isn't, Millicent," I snapped at her, getting angry.  Then I collected myself.  It was what I was taught to do while growing up with respectability in being a Pureblood and having family values.

"and as for my feelings for Draco, you're right; not all of them were real at first.  They were influenced... but... well, that hasn't seemed ot matter.  I really do love him."

At least Pansy agreed to the fact that she was forced a bit.  "As long as you love him, I guess," I said,s hrugging it off.  I honestly thought Pansy and Malfoy would be a good pair -- an excellent pureblood paring.

I looked at Millicent.  "why do I have a feeling there was more to that than what you said?" I inquired, knowing how Millicent thought.  She hardly ever stopped speaking like that.  There ha dto be more.  But probably not what I would like to hear anyways.

I shrugged.  "Pansy, it doens't matter if you love him," I said to her simply.  "It never has.  Mr. Malfoy and your dad have had the two of you paired off since the beginning.  There's really no reasont o fight it, either, as it is a perfect pairing of blood status."

I sighed, knowing that Millicent had a point.  "I am aware of that," I said to her.  "We would be perfect for each other.  But it's so archaic to be paired off like this."

"Who cares?" I questioned.  "As long as it's a good pairing... you have Malfoy and my family is pushing me towards Goyle or Crabbe."  Of course, Crabbe and I always got along, so I would probably choose him over Goyle.

I sighed.  Millicent never really cared about feelings.  "Well, Crabbe is probably a better choice... but Goyle isn't too bad," I mused, knowing that either option was not the best.  At least Draco was rather dashing.