In the middle of a breakdown... screaming at me -- Winter 2016 (DONE)

I was the Captain of the Quidditch team and I was working the team quite hard despite the weather outside.  I was just frustrated at myself.  Quinn and I had ended our relationship not that long ago... I was turned into a monster... everyone hated me because I was not with Dona...  I was just in a horrible mood.  I did not mean to be taking everything out on the team.  I just was having a hard time handling everything.  I could not feel the cold, but they could.  I was just past the point of caring.  "C'mon guys!  PUll it together!" I shouted at them.  We were dropping the Quaffle, Ana was barely focused, Quinn was sort of hovering making our other beater do all the work.

I was tired fo Leo's bull.  I flew over to him.  "Land.  Now," I said, pointing towards the ground.  I waited until he angled his broom downwards.  I followed him to the ground and the rest of the team landed behind me.  "Leo, we're freezing.  I think it's time for us to head in," I said, only shouting to be heard above the howling wind.  I could not feel my fingers.  My wig was barely staying in place... I should not be out in this weather like this -- not that I would admit that to anyone else, though.

I would hate to be on Quinn's bad side right now.  I walked up and put a hand on her shoulder.  "C'mon... Leo, we have weeks before the next match.  We're all freezing.  I have no idea how you're handling this weather," I said calmly.  I had a feeling that this would escalate into a lover's spat... I should say ex-lover.

I looked at the two of them standing up to me.  They all did look freezing.  Because of being bitten, I felt nothing when it came to weather conditions.  "Get out of here, guys.  I won't blame you if you all hate me now," I said, shaking my head.  I felt bad for having been such a jerk.  They all chuckled an walked past me.  No one seemed overly peeved.  "Sorry everyone," I added.  I knew my team would probably be sick by morning.  I stayed out, trying to figure out what was  going on.  I was pretty sure Quinn and I broke up just so she would not get hurt.  Was it possible for me to love both Quinn and Dona?  Since she told me, I realized I had feelings for Sedona, too.  But I had been with Quinn.  And now I was just utterly confused and very irritable.

I walked past Leo with Quinn.  We both sort of eyed him.  He looked horribly pale and extremely tired.  Though I was extremely cold, I stopped.  "I think I'll talk to him.  He looks horrible," I told her.  I figured he may want to talk about their breakup or something.

I looked back at Leo -- who was walking in the opposite direction.  I rolled my eyes.  I put a hand on Ana's shoulders.  "Let me," I said.  I know we both played our breakup off as not being a big deal... but we had been together for nearly a year, it was just that no one knew about us.  I walked towards him and had to jog to catch up to him.  I put a hand on his shoulder, but before I could get a word out, he was nearly crushing my hand in his and he looked really creepy.  He was actually scaring me.

My fanged friend was on edge and took over when I was startled by someone behind me.  I fought for control and let go of Quinn's hand.  "I-I am so sorry," I said quickly, wanting to just die when I could sense her fear.  "Are you okay?" I asked in a tender voice.  I loved Quinn... and it tore me apart the way she was looking at me.

I took a deep breath and had to really look at Leo.  He was looking normal again.  I had no idea what had just happened.  I rubbed my aching hand.  Perhaps it only hurt so much due to how cold I was.  I saw pain in his eyes when he realized that i was sore.  "It's okay... Leo, are you okay?  You've been really off lately..  I know it's more than just Dona and you, me and you... there's something else," I said quietly, compoosing myself from actually being scared of someone I cared about.

Of course Quinn would notice that there was more going on with me than meets the eyes.  I shook my head.  I did not want to tell anyone else about my fanged friend.  "No, I'm not okay," I answered her honestly.  I just could not tell her why.

I could not feel any of my exposed skin.  I rubbed my hands on my arms.  How was Leo not cold?  I was surprised that he answered me openly.  "You know you can always talk to me," I said softly, unsure if he heard me over the howling wind.  I loved Leo... I did not want him to be like this.  This was not Leo... he was normally upbeat and joking, not moody and surly like he was being lately.

I put my arm around her to try to warm her up.  She was really the worst person to be out in the cold.  her immune system was horrible compared to everyone else's... especially with just getting out of chemo not that long ago.  I turned us so we could head back towards the castle.  "I know," I replied.  "But I can't talk to anyone about this... and on top of that new development, there's all these feelings that I can't sort through."  I felt awkward saying any of this to Quinn.  Especially that I id want to still be with her... but then there was Sedona.  That was a complete chaotic mess.

I leaned into Leo as we walked.  It was just so familiar and nice to be in his arms again.  But we ended it because he was hiding something from me... and I pulled away.  He never saw me without my wig.  I never wanted him to.  I never felt pretty or beautiful, because any time someone said that -- until Noah outside of my parents -- was when I had my wig on.  And I knew he loved me and Sedona both.  It was just complicated.  "Leo, you need to talk to someone about all of this. You can't keep all of this locked up inside," I said.  I started to cough adn it took me five minutes before I stopped.  I shook my head at myself.  Of course Leo would turn all of this on me rather than his own problem.s

I looked at Quinn with concern.  I quickened my pace.  "We need to get you inside," I said.  I ignored her advice.  I did talk to Gramps about my fanged friend.  Dad was helping me with the problem with women... "There's no reason to worry about me.  I'll be fine.."

I rolled my eyes at him.  "You're not fine if you're being a jerk all the time," I Pointed out.  I gave him a slight smile. We got into the castle and I welcomed the warmth.  I was really glad that Leo and I did not get into an argument.  But it hurt when Leo quickly let go of me when we started to run into the busier part of the school.  That told me that he cared if Sedona would see us together.

Quinn had a point.  I shifted our brooms that I was carrying to a different position.  "There's just a lot of things going on wtih me that I need to sort out.  I'm sorry that you got pulled into all of this," I said gently.  I hated that Quinn had gotten mixed up in this mess along with being hurt by everything.