Somebody get me through this nightmare -- Summer 1969

It had been nearly a five years since I had been bitten.  Dad, Mum, and I seemed to be handling it the best we could.  It was that time of the month again and I made my way down to the cellar where Dad locked me up so I could not harm anybody.  I looked at him, noticing how tired he looked.  He always stayed up and outside the door in case the werewolf escaped somehow and also to be with me no matter what.  I put a hand on his arm.  "Dad, you can go upstairs and go to bed.  Please, I'll be okay.  I don't want you to wear yourself out," I told him, trying to give him a reassuring smile.  It still frightened me every time I had to change.  It was so painful and I could never remember a thing that I did - though being locked up, there was not much to do besides claw at the surroundings.

Mum and I already had our tearful goodnight; it had been like that every single month.  I felt horribly for the two of them always.

I looked at my son, forced to grow up so quickly in his young life.  I kissed his forehead.  "You know I always stay down here with you, kiddo," I assured him with a smile.  I could see the fear lingering in Remus's eyes.  It pained me to know that this was something I could not save him from.

I hugged my dad tightly.  "But if you keep doing this... Dad, I don't want you to wear yourself out.  I need you.  But I need a healthy you," I added with a smile.  He would make sure everything would be in place so I did not do anything to get out.  Thank Merlin I was not as powerful of a werewolf as full grown ones were, though.  There would be no way that this would keep me contained then.

I smiled at him to reassure him the best that I could.  "I'm as healthy as I can be, Remus," I told him.  I glanced down at my watch.  "But, son, we're cutting it close.  Might be best to go inside there, now."  I hated locking Remus up like an animal, but it was the best thing for him that we could do in these matters.

I knew there was no way that I was going to get Dad to sleep in his own room tonight.  I gave him a hug and went inside, hearing him lock the door behind me.  It was dark and scary, but I knew that it would be okay.  Even though I was in a closed off room, if the moon was still showing outside, I would change.  I prayed for rainy days to keep it cloudy overhead.  It was horrible.  I went into the farthest corner and sat down, waiting for the moon to come up.  It would be a crystal clear night that night.

I sat down outside of the doors after I locked them up tight and said an enchantment.  We never had an accident, but he was getting bigger and stronger.  There was no way I would let Remus hurt himself or others while I stayed outside the door.  I glanced out the window and knew that the time was near that I would hear the sounds that would break any father's heart.

It was time.  My back arched and I could feel the bones changing within me.  I cried out and dropped to the floor. I wanted to try to keep my head, but I knew in a matter of moments nothing would be able to control the beast.

And right the boy was.  I was alive and awake now.  I howled and scratched at the walls and doors.  I wanted out.  Tonight would be the night I would succeed.  I rammed into the door, growling and clawing, knowing where the weakest spot was and using it to my advantage.

I heard Remus -- well, he really was not Remus right now -- pounding against the door, scratching at it, trying to get out.  I looked at the rattling door and I gripped my wand tightly.  I was not going to let anything happen that my son would regret doing.  It had been a long year and I doubted it would ever get any easier, but this was something I would not let him do on his own.

I rammed at the door.  I had been working on this spot for months -- I wanted out and this was the area that would allow me to be free.  I hoped that I would be able to get past the old man outside the door.  I knew he was out there because I had the boys memories even if he did not have mine until he learned more control, that is.  Which I would never allow.  I howled and felt the door start to give.  I would get out toniht.

I gripped my wand and prepared myself for dealing with the beast behind the door.  I watched and waited, trying to reinforce the door with magic the best that I could to stop him from getting loose.

The wolf knew exactly what it was going to do now.  The boy continued to try to fight me, but I won out eventually.  I howled and backed up, knowing exactly where to hit the door to be able to escape.  I ran full force and the door gave way on its hinges.  I lowered myself and growled at the wizard -- the boy's father -- who stood before me, trying to keep me from doing something that the boy would regret.  Well, now, that was not going to happen, was it?

I had never seen teh wolf before -- the beast was great in front of me.  I could not believe that was my young son.  It was unreal.  No wonder he was able to break through the barriers we had set in place.  I waved my wand, trying to stun the beast to keep him from escaping even further.

I howled and charged the boy's father.  I definitely startled him and I smelled blood meaning that I hurt him.  But he did not stay down  I growled, just wanting to run free.  I was going to take him out if I had to to be able to roam in the night.

I waved my wand, knowing that htis was not my son.  I needed to knock him out for the rest of hte night... but he was gaining on me, becoming far too powerful for even me.

I, the wolf, lunged forward trampling the boy's father.  There was no need to ravish him... I had my sights set on running free for a little while before making a meal out of somebody.  And that I did.  I ran for miles and miles - never tiring.  There was not a cloud in the sky and the moon shone brightly on a small little village.  I raised my head and howled, raising my hackles and rushing forward.  My claws gripped through the dirt, kicking up grass as I ran, closer and closer to that village... and I could smell the townsfolk.  They smelled delicious.  I crashed through windows and doors; I tasted human blood; I did not stop until there was nothing left of the group of houses.  I ran towards the woods that were nearby, not wanting to be detected.  It was nearing dawn; the moon was starting to set and the sun was starting to rise.  I loped easily into the woods and found a nice place to nestle up in that was safe.  I did not need the boy to be detected if I wanted to be able to roam free again.  I closed my eyes as I started to change back into a petulant human.

I was shaking, looking around, raelizing that I was not in the cage that Dad and I had built.  I had gotten out?  What happened?  I looked around and realized that I was covered in blood.  What did I do?  Wearing nothing but ragged shorts after the transformation, I slowly walked towards sirens that I heard.  I must be near Muggles.  I staggered to the top of this hill and what I saw in the valley sickened me.  I started to throw up and cry at the same time.  It had definitely been the wolf - me.  Where was I?  And how was I going to get my dad to find me?  I jumped when I heard something behind me -- it was a man in a uniform, looking overly concerned.  

"Hey... it's alright... it's over now.  Here, you're a lucky one..." His voice was soft and he offered me his jacket.  I could see instruments that definitely belonged to Muggles.  I followed him, thinking that there was no other way for me to try to reach out to my father other than to get help from the locals.  He thought I was a survivor - not the monster that did this.  

After lying and answering some questions -- like saying that I had been at a friend's house and that I did not live there -- they finally left me alone, thinking that I was too shocked to have anything else asked of me.  I looked at the map they had in their office and saw that I was only a few towns away from where our lake and cottage sat.  One officer offered to take me home since they were confused to the fact that I did not own a telephone -- I was not even sure what that was -- and wanted to speak to my father about what had happened.  Naturally, I hoped that Dad was alright and able to modify memories if necessary so they would forget I was even there.  

Not soon enough, their car pulled up to our cottage and I could see Dad rushing out towards me.  He looked worried sick.  I got out of the car and ran to him, hugging hi tightly.  I had feared that the wofl - I - did something horrible to him.  My father left my side and went to the officer and they left.  When he returend, I said, "Dad... I-I did something awful... when I got out... I'm so sorry!"  I started crying.